In truth, surfing never loved Erik Logan.
Some men are content with their own patch of dirt, watching a few meagre seeds of a lifetime’s hard work flourish around them. Content to live in peace, even if that means being forgotten or unremembered.
Erik “ELo” Logan was not one of these men.
For Erik, no dream was too big.
He’d grown up in a fine neighbourhood in Oklahoma City, where sometimes tornadoes would whip up dust clouds so fierce young Erik’s tears would roll onto his chin like little soft balls. When Erik wasn’t crying, which wasn’t often, he enjoyed dressing his Action Men up in tuxedos with no pants, and pulling the legs from daddy long legs.
Relentlessly driven by the tough love of all the strong women in his life, Logan developed a catty confidence that was to see him have early success in showbusiness. First, as Chuck The Duck, then later, Cody The Coyote, where duties included singing country music songs and sucking golfballs though gardenhoses.
Adopting other identities suited Logan, and he worked his way up the sticky corporate ladder. Soon, dalliances with Oprah Winfrey led to an ego which had become swollen like the bulbous purple head of a little bullfrog, and this, eventually, would lead to his demise.
In January 2020, the mysterious billionaire Dirk Ziff, appointed him as CEO of the World Surf League. Logan stroked out on his own into the shark infested waters of professional surfing with a wetsuit made of armour and some clean, shiny Vans, falling head over heels for surfing.
Here was where he could make his name! Because all the surfers would just be like yeah brah and whatever. What could they possibly know of the clever showbiz tricks and fruity wordplay he would use to control them?
And yes! He could be a surfer! Why not? If Johnny Utah could do it, so could he. He’d be dirty dancing with Swayze lookalikes before he knew it, leading them a merry jig.
His dream was set.
In the early days, Logan could often be seen with his personal Instagram photographer, doggy styling on a SUP. He preferred double Vs to shakas, but was not afraid to use both. The early signs were not promising. The sharks began to circle.
In truth, surfing never loved him. The waters were too muddy, too full of wizened old creatures either entirely disinterested in his presence, or quick to tear him from arsehole to nipple with the ease with which one might draw a paring knife across the skin of a peach.
He changed his look for surfing, adopting a cultivated rugged appearance, like a man with fewer worries. A man who could executive produce mediocre TV shows like Ultimate Surfer and Make Or Break one minute, but wear a t-shirt with the chest tattoos of his star athletes the next. He was not afraid to instruct his athletes to remove their shirts. He was the boss after all.
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He touched foreheads with Jack Robinson in Hawaii, showing how connected he was to indigenous cultures. He was even thinking of getting himself an outrigger. And he insisted Dave Prodan called him uncle (which he was only too happy to do).
The first was a response to a group of surfing professionals who had filed a petition against the Mid Year Cut, a new-old format change for the WCT that saw poorly performing, browbeaten surfers axed halfway through the season. This letter castigated the surfers as if they were silly little children who should be seen and not heard (preferably with tops off).
Letter number two again responded to disgruntled Tour professionals, this time a contingent of World Champions in Filipe Toledo, Gabriel Medina and Italo Ferreira, surfers from a nation whose fanbase might not be Logan’s preferred flavour, being mostly not rich and white, but who have almost single-handedly propped up the World Surf League during his tenure.
Again, this letter had “a tone that lies somewhere between a dictator and a domestic abuser”, according to one chronicler of surfing on minor surf blog, BeachGrit.
Erik Logan did have one bright spot early in his career, the first and only time he would engage with surfing’s gutter press. Logan manhandled BeachGrit’s Charlie Smith in a podcast debate, skipping jauntily around Smith’s ill-prepared questions and aiming sharp little kicks to his ribs in a neat little jig of corporate verbiage. Not since the heady days of Goggans vs Smith had the latter been taken so roughly.
Indeed, Logan’s speciality was to deliver lashings and lashings of mushy corporate word salad. He was particularly adroit at window-dressing bare-faced lies, flubbing numbers, and wielding amorphous statistical evidence, leading many to believe that professional surfing was a runaway success under his watch.
But for a man who valued drama and narrative above all else, he suffered an ungracious, flat ending. No drama, no narrative, Merely disappeared mid-event to the tune of a rudimentary press release. A vaporisation perhaps befitting a man who ran the WSL in a manner not inaccurately compared to Stalinist Russia.
Logan’s Instagram states he is still “living life one wave at a time”.
As an arbiter of surf competition and storytelling, that wave is a closeout in perpetuity.
“No competitive pursuit boasts counter-culture roots cunts as strong as like surfing.” Sydney Morning Herald profile on Logan from March 2023: The Former Oprah Exec Bringing Soap Opera To Surfing
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Well said.
🤓
WTF was ELO thinking throwing spaghetti at the wall thinking it might be possible to make surf contests profitable. After 40 years of losing money, listen to the core, we need to go back to what could never be sustained. The good old days, make Hurley toothpaste pay, we are entitled the glory of a bloated dream tour that loses money! The best call would have been selling to Netflix that would have run it for 2-3 years till they got a new CEO who would make the easy call/fall back decision to return Netflix to it’s core mission, scraping the WSL for good, because Netflix isn’t a sports league. Then Travis Rice could finally create a Red Bull sponsored tour where he hand picks social media successful surfers to compete against him at his favorite waves around the world. Travis with the full narrative backing of Chas Smith and Beach Grit, will take note from Kai Lenny and finally ad straps to surfboards pushing surfing into the true future he see’s fit. Finally Travis will be able to show surfers what he has known all along, he is dominant in all domains. Travis will be stomping double corks, and David Lee Scales approved full rote 540’s decimating his competition with Beachgrit’s full backing. Don’t worry though, Chas and DLS will still be able to attack and complain incessantly about the tour because so many ungrateful stuck in the past competitors will need to be attacked at every turn because they lack vision and are clearly stuck in the past, which is why they are unhappy with these changes.
Spot on! It’s a 2 foot, blown to shreds onshore, totally walled Oceanside close out, not Waimea shorebreak close out. Just to be clear.
Dear God,
Could you please, please find employment for Erik Logan. I know, I know, unemployable he is, but I beg you to have mercy on me. Not sure how much more I can take.
Sincerely,
The Unemployment Line
I hear the Church is always on the lookout for personable presenters.
Or he could get some more practice in for Xmas….
ELo has that Scientology look to him. It’s not like they have to advance him past Level 1.
That fake happiness only achievable through surprising wealth.
start smoking~
https://scontent-sjc3-1.xx….
Woz CEO Obit Lit.
to be or not to be. any questions?
grand slam. score. goal!
“But for a man who valued drama and narrative above all else, he suffered an ungracious, flat ending.” Nice sentence JP.
What kind of top-off goes on corporate mushy word salad, Surf Ranch??
I think the best thing ever published on the Grit.
Has anyone seen JP Currie and Chas Smith in the same place at the same time? Asking for a friend.
Who’s this curious pal?
See above
I really do love how well they disappear people. You have to admit it’s masterful.
If, if the scanty rumours are true, then this cunt needs to be exposed for the criminal he is.
Wooz, by supporting this Omertà style of silence from Dirk will be seen to be complicit. Pack of gutless fukkahs.
I guess all will be revealed at some stage !!!?.?!!
What are the rumors
Gotta be personal indiscretion
Nobody will say, they just keep acting like something salacious happened followed by nothing.
Tyler and the Misses have him locked up and have him on perm gimp duties
Because they are unsubstantiated I’m not going to repeat them. But you guys can read. Have a dig around over the last week or so.
It stinks to high heaven largely coz the Wooz won’t say why Eric the Shit was dismissed. And I’ll bet Dirks got a Cease and Desist drafted ready to serve as soon as we cross the line.
All you have to do is preface it with an “I heard…” or “Rumor has it…..” You just can’t state it as fact. And I’d love to see Dick try to serve a cease and desist to the BG message board, that would be an interesting legal manuever.
Oh no he can’t do that but he can serve it on BG and then they have to close the offending thread down.
It’s happened a few times. Jonah being the latest I think.
Happened with JH when? What thread was shut down?
Sorry matey, can’t rember. Wasn’t too long ago. Just before Chas and Jonah had a pow wow and Chas more or less agreed to back off. A month or two ago ??. About then.
rumors?
laaaa listaaa
Where did Laura go?
Soooooo, he ‘Sarge’d’ it?
Possibly the best written obituary a boy from Okey Dokey could dream of.
Well done, JP.
Now it’s time to break down the Wall of Positive Noise if Supertubes can’t.
Are he and Prigozhin holed up together somewhere?
Well away from any architecture with windows more than a single storey high?
excellent
Defenestration is so hot right now in Russia
all glass
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Here’s one from the archives
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
The Great Guru Ghand-ELo
that’s dope…
The fifth Beatle
Reading ELo-bashing pieces is my second favourite pastime.