"Shades of Kim Jong-Un."

Scholars and journalists had their attention ripped from the ongoing power struggle in Russia, overnight, when World Surf League chief executive Erik Logan shifted his public-facing persona of “lovable goof” to “dictatorial strongman.” The Oklahoma native and SUP enthusiast, who has held the reins of professional surfing since 2020, is currently in Brazil for the Vivo Rio Pro.

After being hired to run the WSL Studios, since shuttered, Logan had increased his stranglehold on power by discussing vectors, synergies and momentum being real while forcing uncomfortable intimacy amongst his employees, whom he enjoyed asking to undress.

His charm offensive seemed to hit a snare in late May, however, when a judging controversy exploded into the open during the Surf Ranch Pro. Three Brazilian stars, each former champions, questioned how and why scores were given. Furious at the perceived betrayal, Logan launched an open letter that excoriated those who dared challenge his ultimate power.

“Firstly, he wrote, “the judging criteria are provided to the athletes ahead of each competition. All athletes competing at the Surf Ranch Pro received these materials on May 20th. Every athlete had the opportunity to ask questions about the criteria at that time. None of the athletes who made these statements took advantage of this opportunity at the Surf Ranch Pro.”

“Secondly, he continued, “our rules allow any athlete to review the scoring of any wave, with the judges, and receive a more detailed explanation of how they were scored with the judges. This process has been in place for a number of years, and is the direct result of working with the surfers to bring more transparency to the judging process. It is not acceptable, and is a breach of league policy, for surfers to choose not to engage with the proper process and instead air grievances on social media.”

Stunned by the viciousness, surf fans took to his official Instagram channel and let their feelings be known.

The counter-assault forced Logan into hiding for weeks with the aforementioned fans wondering if the end of the World Surf League was nigh.

The onetime Oprah Winfrey executive, though, stunned all when he flew to Brazil, made quirky videos with professional surfing commentator Joe Turpel and disabled the comments.

“Shades of Kim Jong-Un,” one longtime pundit, who insisted upon anonymity for fear of retaliation, declared.

There is no telling how the quashing of “alternative voices” will go.

Dark days ahead.

More as the story develops.

Teahupo'o-esque.

How excited are you for the just-around-the-corner opening of the ultra-environmentally-conscious World Surf League’s new oil-powered wave tank in the Middle East’s Abu Dhabi? As you already know, “Covering more than 2.25 million sq m (24.2 million sq ft), an urban park is included in the masterplan and will be the largest in the UAE. Focussed on nature, the destination will feature an elevated cycling path, an eco-tourism platform and a mangrove walk. It will also feature eco-farming, F&B and playgrounds.”

I love when the WSL focuses on nature, just like in Lemoore, California where natural industrial farm run-off has been greenwashed into a Surf Ranch.

In any case, “The Hudayriyat Island development project is a milestone in Abu Dhabi’s journey of innovation and progress, as it embodies the city’s futuristic vision for sustainable urban planning, building vibrant communities, and developing a diversified economy that boosts the emirate’s competitiveness in all fields,” Jassem Bu Ataba Al Zaabi, chairman of the Department of Finance, Abu Dhabi and chairman of Modon Properties, which is behind the masterplan, said.

Over the course of the next 18 months, Modon Properties will handle construction of infrastructure enabling Phase One of the development.

Many happy Pakistanis employed, no doubt.

But also, a new picture reveals the barrel will be Teahupo’o-esque.

Are you booking passage?

World Surf League Chief of Sport Jessi Miley-Dyer planning a coup?

And maybe I’ve been wrong all along. Here I was declaring the death of this current iteration of professional surfing. Revolt from within, rats jumping off from without, a CEO gone missing until just turning back up and making further uncomfortable physical contact with his employees, rumors of a sale to deep pocketed Saudis.

Done.

Except it seems I was sorely mistaken for news has just floated that an unsanctioned pop-up event celebrating the World Surf League’s Chief of Sport has been squashed by local police worried about crowd-size.

Per the Police’s Facebook account:

In anticipation of an unpermitted, unsanctioned pop-up event, “JDM Beach Day,” The Volusia Sheriff’s Office has designated an area where all laws and codes will be strictly enforced, fines will be doubled, and violating vehicles will be impounded. Those promoting this weekend’s event on social media have been identified, contacted, and advised of the ramifications of this disruptive, unpermitted event which strains public safety resources, interferes with traffic flow, and jeopardizes the public welfare.

But who could have ever guessed that Jessi Miley-Dyer had such a robust fanbase. Such an explosive fanbase. Such passionate supporters that will “strain public safety resources” and “jeopardize the public welfare.”

Certainly not me.

Also, who are “those promoting the event on social media?”

Stab?

Who else?

But the aforementioned CEO Erik Logan must be fearing for his job, no? Was Miley-Dyer planning a Wagner-esque coup for Florida whilst the Oklahoman was busy being “passionate?”

Impossible to know and, like the action in Russia, with whom is the general public supposed to side?

Oh.

It’s not “JMD Beach Day” it’s “JDM Beach Day” and JDM apparently stands for Japanese Domestic Motors.

Never mind.

As you were.