Israeli inventors design “more stable” e-foil in response to near fatal accident suffered by Rubenesque musical artist DJ Khaled!

Yes I love technology...

It was only one month ago, though it feels like a lifetime, that collective hearts stopped around the world. The beloved plus-sized musical artist DJ Khaled, having a bit of fun in the waters off his Florida home, got the balance wrong on his e-foil and took an extremely nasty spill. The manner in which he tumbled was particularly worrisome, as either the foil or the propeller could have removed his head from his torso. Mercifully, as thoughts and prayers poured in, the damage only required a light massage.

Flash forward and we have two Israeli inventors, Arthur Yanai and Assaf Friedman, debuting Level Hydrofoils. Embedded sensors and algorithms paired with a patented single-mast technology effectively “stabilize” the e-foil experience.

Assaf and I started Level Hydrofoils in 2018 with the premise of bringing to the world the next generation of sustainable watercraft,” Yanai, a veteran of Shayetet 13, the Israel Navy’s sea, air and land (SEAL) unit, told Israel21c. “Both of us are keen water sports enthusiasts. We’ve traveled the oceans and sailed the Atlantic all the way from Israel to the Caribbean. So we are super passionate about this topic.”

How, exactly, does it all work? Yanai declared, “We added a first-of-its-kind gyro stabilizer, making balancing the board automatic. It works so well, it can even fly by itself. We also swapped out the hand control that other e-foils use, for a more intuitive, fly-by-wire weight-based control. It’s the only e-foil that has this function.”

And there we have it.

I’d imagine in the aforementioned hitmaker was on a Level Hydrofoil instead of the extremely dangerous one he was riding, the near fatal accident would have been avoided, DJ Khaled would not have had to been given a massage and the historic heating trend, burning up large swathes of America and Europe, would have been avoided.

Comment live, Corona J-Bay Open as spectre of Great White attack haunts the fabled African lineup!

A real-time chat-room for disaffected surfers eager to deliver their own coup de grace into the dying corpse of professional surfing.

In wildest salvo yet, Jonah Hill’s spurned ex Sarah Brady launches 52-pronged Instagram attack on Hollywood star including comparisons to Arthur Miller and Marilyn Monroe’s doomed marriage!

"Made me feel like a slut for existing…like I deserved to be treated the way I was because I'm a woman thus a whore."

The former girlfriend of Hollywood star and Malibu habitué Jonah Hill has revealed an impressive stamina in her war against the man she dated for eighteen or so months. 

(A quick recap for those coming in late. Nine days ago, surf instructor Sarah Brady lit a very public fire, dumping a series of what she said were private texts between the pair on Instagram. Brady claimed to be a “survivor” following the  end of a relationship with a man she described as misogynistic and a narcissist. Brady said Hill was made sad by her posting bikini shots, the inference being these languid poses suggested sexual availability.)

After delivering what was thought to her stunning coup de grâce two days ago, the banning of Hill from Hawaiian waters, with Brady triumphantly dancing upon the Superbad star’s grave, one might’ve expected a return to normal transmission on her Instagram channel. 

However , encouraged by a whirlwind of support from spurned women worldwide, Brady today launched a fifty-two pronged fusillade on Instagram stories, screenshots of DMs between her and fans, and including comparisons between her short dalliance with Hill and the five-year-long marriage of playwright Arthur Miller and fifties sex symbol Marilyn Monroe (killed, likely, by Robert  F Kennedy’s family, if you wanna believe conspiracies). 

Pertinent quotes,

“Made me feel like a slut for existing.”

“I know he’s a weak coward on the inside though.”

“Like I deserved to be treated the way I was because I’m a woman thus a whore.”

Screenshots below.

Real question: how much gas y’think Brady got left in the tank?

Brady (pictured) hating mid men. Photo: Instagram

Shock reason for surf instructor Sarah Brady’s brutal public execution of former boyfriend Jonah Hill revealed in lost text message!

The most ancient of blood feuds.

The collected works of Sarah H. Brady, surf instructor, environmental advocate, law student and spurned ex-girlfriend of Jonah Hill will, someday, be gathered together, bound and deposited into the research library of a prestigious institute of higher learning. All the private text messages made public. Each silo’d pat on the back. And then, scholars and professors, alike, will be able to sift through the thousands upon thousands of words, images, memes and uncover a clear snapshot of the collapse of humanity.

A question will haunt their work, though.


Why, after months upon months of the breakup did Brady publicly execute the man she once claimed to love?

She, of course, has given many conflicting reasons. That she wants Kauai locals to burn him at Andy Iron’s favorite waves, that his turn as an advocate for mental health was off-putting, that she wanted to empower others who have been ruthlessly abused by maybe oversensitive exes.

The truth, though, lies in a subtle text included in one of Brady’s Instagram stories from four or five days ago. It was lost, of course, in a sandwich of salaciousness and so social detectives disregarded it, initially, but a studious surf journalist, leaving no stone unturned, has picked it like a gleaming needle from a haystack.

A conversation between Brady and a friend.

“Oof been there… why do we dim our selves for mid men???”

And there we have it.

Hill, as you know, began his surf journey on long and comfortable soft tops. He then evolved into long foam and fiberglass surfboards before continuing his journey to the popular mid-length.

Brady, though, is a longboard purist only riding boards 9 feet and longer.

Photo: @sarahhbrady
Photo: @sarahhbrady

Hill’s exploration, which will clearly end with a high-performance thruster, clearly infuriated Brady and was, likely, smoldering all this time before exploding.

The eternal battle between long and short.

A rubicon that shall never be crossed.

Surfer (pictured) explaining nuances of this surfing life.
Surfer (pictured) explaining nuances of this surfing life.

Once-proud Surfer Magazine stumbles over significance of beloved actor Jonah Hill “surfing alone” amidst never-ending onslaught from spurned ex Sarah Brady!

Gosh guys he's just "washing away the drama from his daily life."

One of the more comedic corners of 2023, other than surfing’s greatest ever jester, former World Surf League CEO Erik Logan, is the transformation of once-proud Surfer Magazine into a Frankenstein AI cross between The Inertia and your dear BeachGrit. Beginning with purchase by a group fronted by Ross Levinsohn, a man famous for his “trail of frat house behavior,” Surfer’s first hire, Emily Morgan who covered the Sport of Kings from her nice perch in East Tennessee, was laugh-out-loud funny.

But it has all gotten even better. Surfer unfortunately canned Morgan, hopefully giving the avid hiker more time to enjoy “strong coffee, spicy food and live music,” replacing her with one Dashel Pierson who clearly does not surf yet attempts to “speak the language,” as it were.

In the latest bit of hilarity, Pierson has jumped with both Teva-tanned feet into former surf instructor Sarah Brady’s one-sided war against Jonah Hill. You certainly recall, one week ago, when the beloved actor’s ex-girlfriend released a tranche of private text message between the two, accusing Hill of misogyny while calling him a narcissist. Not satisfied, the current law student released a second tranche on day two. Derek Rielly remarked how the continued assault was maybe unsurprising, on day five, and here, on day seven, Brady has kept the offensive going, double-barreled social media shotgun about Hill’s controlling ways, what a rotten human being he is etc.

Hill, for his part, has maintained a dignified silence and was, Thursday, spotted surfing in Malibu.

Pierson, filling the shoes of John Severson, attempted to provide context.

Paparazzi caught the Superbad star during a surf session on Thursday in Malibu, and all the major tabloids picked up on it. Cue the prophecies: Was he surfing, like a lot of us do, to wash away the drama from daily life? Or was he surfing because he is so unfazed by the drama, and thus continues living his life as he normally would? Or was he…just…surfing.

Surfing “like a lot of us do” to “wash the drama from daily life,” is my guess.

Pure gold.