"It’s the longest, it’s got the most power, it’s the most challenging."
Right exactly at time of writing, the Wallex U.S. Open of Surfing has just gotten underway in 2 – 3 foot Huntington Beach. A summer crowd is beginning to gather, to watch the surfer bash the lip all the way to the sand. It is not very exciting, if I’m to be all the way honest, though next summer we will have quite a different spectacle to enjoy during this window.
Teahupo’o.
The Place of Broken Skulls.
You, of course, know that Tahiti’s gem is set to host the surfing portion of the Paris Summer Games and all are very excited, save Brazil’s Filipe Toledo. The ledging left, sucking water off the reef and creating a thick, dynamic tube is one of the world’s best waves. One of its scariest too. But how shall the U.S. Olympic surf team, coached by Huntington Beach’s Brett Simpson, prepare? Maybe a trip to Hawaii? A little jaunt to Puerto Rico?
But no.
Kelly Slater’s Surf Ranch, which creates a mechanical wave not one thing like Teahupo’o, will be utilized.
“Right now in my eyes it’s still the best wave pool out there,” Simpson told Your Central Valley. “It’s the longest, it’s got the most power, it’s the most challenging. I think that wave is so long so you, as a surfer, it’s great. As a beginner you get a lot of ride time, but at an expert level you have a lot of room to make mistakes. I think for the youth and these younger kids to train, it’s something special and I think you’re seeing it. You’re seeing the level rise.”
Oh. I guess he’s talking about training for the Los Angeles Games, which will take place in Los Angeles. Do you think the tub will be the site of the surfing portion there? San Clemente and the aforementioned Huntington Beach are in the mix. Will Lemoore rise above?
If it does, it’ll be the end of Olympic surfing.
Maybe a good thing.
This story number 4979 brought to you by Klly Slater’s Turtle Moon sandals which would like to remind you that the turtle and the moon both have cycles, or something.
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need saying we’re livin blow by blow? wake-up call/
😂
😆
Once again Chaz ” The Leach” Smith uses Kelly Slaters name to sell shitty stories.
If there is a story that doesn’t have the name Kelly Slater in it you can bet Chaz didn’t write it.
I heard he was a goat fucking fool but Kelly the GOAT ,doesn’t swing that way but Chaz probably jacks off every night with he could swallow Kelly’s seed.
La dame de fer? Je croyais que c’était Thatcher.
Keep crying then… 😆
The…”…all are very excited, save Brazil’s Filipe Toledo…” jokes still seem to be going strong among the entitled conservative anglo-saxon puritans, just as the biased response to claims, depending on the origin of the claim, ‘brazzo uncool-childish’, or ‘gringo fake-humble stylish’…how cute… 😆
While I am struggling with your outsized and confused usage of the always powerful elipsis, I find myself even more confused by your anglo saxon puritan moniker. Who the fuck are you attempting to label with this tormented and bizarre minority label?
Of greater importance and in consideration of the above, are you aware that the Olympic committee is considering a demonstration sport combining synchro swimming and surfing led by Filipe. YES, the committee is hopeful he will lead this fascinating demonstration while paddling around in rythmic patterns during the Teahupo’o surf competition.
Did you address me with a”who the fuck…” ?! I’m sorry if you have issues (or if you feel concerned by the term”anglo-saxon”), but please avoid sharing them on public forums. You can’t imagine how childish it makes one seem. And regarding your attempt at comedy regarding the current world champion Felipe Toledo, I guess it’s just ignorance, or maybe the fact that you know more about synchronized swimming than surfing. Good day to you, sir. 😆
One means you dude. Checkitout before being a smartarse. Yeah: “you”.
“smartarse” ?! Relax, buddy, no one’s talking to you.. 😆
OOOH HONEY, I don’t have any issues that a beer chased by a sipping tequila can’t solve. But I am concerned for you and your heightened sensitivities after your effort to likely mischaracterize the fine readers of BeachGrit as anglo-saxon puritans when I’m guessing you meant anglo saxon protestant(you know the rich, spoiled, white north american capitalist types of today). Unless of course you sense a very narrow type of anglo-saxon, aka the strict puritans, who read and comment on Beachgrit. And yes I love syncro swimmers as they are the puritans of the athletic world.
BTW, I’m an anglo-saxon atheist if you need to characterize me
beer and tequila …good choice!
thesis question: who teaches that shit?
the nviro is shite…
no environment is perfect…
fact check: elipses are real!
https://scontent-sjc3-1.xx….
“your headline overshadows the great’s mooning each other while sucking on soup. or broth! your on the turtles side. full moon tonight. trippin o’er uni to pick-up grunions!”
Rosies back and milfier than ever.
Now Logans gone she can relax i guess.
“And to supplement core strength building we will be visiting only the best whorehouses in the land!” What a fucking joke.
Kinda like kissing
The fat sister for practise
Then moving on fast
Americans must really hate Surfing. Even the Kiwi’s got a Chopes training camp in.
They need to get training, no doubt. The Ricardo Christie Chopes Training method ain’t going to cut it.
Who’ve we got going anyway ?
I hope some young ones instead of our trusty long in tooth warhorses.
seems like the kiwi pros are older than us!
Not close to me but Ratso …. Hmmmm. Dust him off, prime him up with go go. He might make a sick one … hahahahahar
I dont know mate, if it aint happening in your twenties, but then Biden’s a 100 and bexy said he’s really good so i dont know. Inflations down ALOT
Actually, you’re right, dumb idea. I’d rather have him in the judging box so he can cripple the opponent with a dodgy priority call… its prolly the only way a kiwi is going to get out of a heat.
you guys mean well
We’re only here to supplement the Aus workforce when needed…. Kinda like South Pacific Mexicans. Cept Aus got a moat instead of a wall.
there is nothing you guys can teach aussies about sucking
panga boat fishing in Cabo erased alot of dreams…property, food and me Dad
Hes 10% good.
Billy and Saffi…
Yeeewww!
Americans need to meet up and train at PIPE and see who can do what or have the captain discretionarily replace.
few of us realize…it’s still a one-man show.
Should live chat Huntington, I feel a day drinking session coming on
Bart Simpson is the man!
Eat my Hurley phantom shorts!
If any Olympians need a more affordable alternative to train for Teahupo’o, they’re welcome to jump off my 2nd-story roof into a kiddie pool my dog usually lounges in.
For a vast majority of the competitors, that skill set will be more useful than anything else.
Here’s a secret man-made VTA wave that could prep any grom for surfing anywhere…Dane’s Surf Skool For Olympic Hopefuls. Gather every AM at Mondos and we’ll pick you up in Our Magic Bus and flop you on the sand, provide appropos wetties, CI boards, and wisk you in & out of the line-up on state-of-the-art jetskis…without anyone getting their hair wet. At the end of the instruction we will gather at my surfshop, pop CoorsLight and watch Riding Giants with Laird, Sam, Kai, Travis, Dave’s Smith & Miller. Hopefuls will then be tested on their knowledge of sushi. Did anyone know that for centuries the rice and nori were never eaten as their only purpose was to preserve the fish?
https://scontent-sjc3-1.xx….
Reckon we get to 4999 and Chas is disappeared a la Elo. Inertia kill it by sending Sam George to gonzo search for him around Lemoore.
with ya A…give us more cruel & unusual punishment. and not plant anything. we must all be pickers. all Olympians started out that way.
Bruce50s, 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s, 00s, 10s, 20s…all went by so fast. but here’s R.Griffin’s self-portrait of winning the 84 Olies. he’s not the only one with hallucinations!
https://scontent-sjc3-1.xx….
At 80 grand a day this was the most cost effective choice they could come up with.
🏆
Those Lemoore Oil Wells give Brett that down home Huntington feel.
But he probably really hates the undocumented farm workers/service workers that make up 10% of Lemoore’s population. Unless of course they are cleaning his hotel room, prepping his meals or washing his truck. Surely Simpo drives a big ass truck.