Like Teahupo'o only not at all. Photo: WSL
Like Teahupo'o only not at all. Photo: WSL

In bizarre twist, U.S. Olympic surfing head coach Brett Simpson declares team will use Kelly Slater Surf Ranch facility to train for Teahupoo!

"It’s the longest, it’s got the most power, it’s the most challenging."

Right exactly at time of writing, the Wallex U.S. Open of Surfing has just gotten underway in 2 – 3 foot Huntington Beach. A summer crowd is beginning to gather, to watch the surfer bash the lip all the way to the sand. It is not very exciting, if I’m to be all the way honest, though next summer we will have quite a different spectacle to enjoy during this window.

Teahupo’o.

The Place of Broken Skulls.

You, of course, know that Tahiti’s gem is set to host the surfing portion of the Paris Summer Games and all are very excited, save Brazil’s Filipe Toledo. The ledging left, sucking water off the reef and creating a thick, dynamic tube is one of the world’s best waves. One of its scariest too. But how shall the U.S. Olympic surf team, coached by Huntington Beach’s Brett Simpson, prepare? Maybe a trip to Hawaii? A little jaunt to Puerto Rico?

But no.

Kelly Slater’s Surf Ranch, which creates a mechanical wave not one thing like Teahupo’o, will be utilized.

“Right now in my eyes it’s still the best wave pool out there,” Simpson told Your Central Valley. “It’s the longest, it’s got the most power, it’s the most challenging. I think that wave is so long so you, as a surfer, it’s great. As a beginner you get a lot of ride time, but at an expert level you have a lot of room to make mistakes. I think for the youth and these younger kids to train, it’s something special and I think you’re seeing it. You’re seeing the level rise.”

Oh. I guess he’s talking about training for the Los Angeles Games, which will take place in Los Angeles. Do you think the tub will be the site of the surfing portion there? San Clemente and the aforementioned Huntington Beach are in the mix. Will Lemoore rise above?

If it does, it’ll be the end of Olympic surfing.

Maybe a good thing.

This story number 4979 brought to you by Klly Slater’s Turtle Moon sandals which would like to remind you that the turtle and the moon both have cycles, or something.

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