Designer carry-on bags, Viennese lip balm, fois gras for breakfast!

Surfers are known for many things. Neck tans, sandy floorboards of aged pickup trucks, wax under fingernails, sea turtle shell moon sandals, dumb mouths, pterygiums, volume calculators, saltwater crust on favorite R. t-shirts, etc. They are not known for decadent bourgeois lifestyles but I suppose Laird Hamilton has always gone his own way.

The multi-disciplinary waterman never doesn’t fascinate. From inventing standup paddleboarding to re-defining what it means to work out in a swimming pool, Hamilton has made an indelible mark of our surfing world. When he speaks it behooves us to listen to the world’s sexist over-sixty year-old.

The latest wisdom pours from a Forbes interview wherein Hamilton shares travel secrets.

What are some?

Well, the best thing he ever ate was “unforgettably delicious fois gras from a farm restaurant in Bordeaux.” He typically flys first or biz class. His favorite piece of luggage is a Yves St. Laurent carry-on, he always brings Viennese lip balm, “radical moisturizer” and  extra expensive non-fluoride toothpaste. He has a “luxury” pillow and enjoys macadamia nuts which are considered “the most expensive nut in the world.”

Would you have guessed that the adonis was so luxe?

Very cool.

This story number 4980 has been brought to you by Laird Superfood which can be force fed to geese for extra delicious liver down the road.

"It’s the longest, it’s got the most power, it’s the most challenging."

Right exactly at time of writing, the Wallex U.S. Open of Surfing has just gotten underway in 2 – 3 foot Huntington Beach. A summer crowd is beginning to gather, to watch the surfer bash the lip all the way to the sand. It is not very exciting, if I’m to be all the way honest, though next summer we will have quite a different spectacle to enjoy during this window.

Teahupo’o.

The Place of Broken Skulls.

You, of course, know that Tahiti’s gem is set to host the surfing portion of the Paris Summer Games and all are very excited, save Brazil’s Filipe Toledo. The ledging left, sucking water off the reef and creating a thick, dynamic tube is one of the world’s best waves. One of its scariest too. But how shall the U.S. Olympic surf team, coached by Huntington Beach’s Brett Simpson, prepare? Maybe a trip to Hawaii? A little jaunt to Puerto Rico?

But no.

Kelly Slater’s Surf Ranch, which creates a mechanical wave not one thing like Teahupo’o, will be utilized.

“Right now in my eyes it’s still the best wave pool out there,” Simpson told Your Central Valley. “It’s the longest, it’s got the most power, it’s the most challenging. I think that wave is so long so you, as a surfer, it’s great. As a beginner you get a lot of ride time, but at an expert level you have a lot of room to make mistakes. I think for the youth and these younger kids to train, it’s something special and I think you’re seeing it. You’re seeing the level rise.”

Oh. I guess he’s talking about training for the Los Angeles Games, which will take place in Los Angeles. Do you think the tub will be the site of the surfing portion there? San Clemente and the aforementioned Huntington Beach are in the mix. Will Lemoore rise above?

If it does, it’ll be the end of Olympic surfing.

Maybe a good thing.

This story number 4979 brought to you by Klly Slater’s Turtle Moon sandals which would like to remind you that the turtle and the moon both have cycles, or something.

Moxie.

Culture is an odd thing, though, no? Forever shifting, moving. What was totally acceptable yesterday, using the gender binary, for example, is today a form of assault. Drinking soy milk, let’s say, a disgusting, hormone disrupting habit when it was, just a handful of years ago, the healthy future of iced-coffee drinks.

It is almost impossible to stand ground when the shift begins, takes real moxie and verve to hold to “the old ways.”

Take the move, particularly in sport, to “equality.”

Equal opportunity between men and women. Equal pay between them. Equal, equal, equal.

It is, and should go without saying, a wonderful evolution but it appears Kelly Slater has reached his limit with equality and is drawing a line in the sand.

The 11x world champion, considered the greatest athlete to ever live by many, is part of the luxury Swiss watch maker Breitling’s “Surfer Squad,” as you certainly know. The other two members just so happen to be Australian greats Stephanie Gilmore and Sally Fitzgibbons.

Both openly female.

Well, in a recent spread, both gals sported Breitling Superocean’s retailing for $7,190 Australian. Slater, the lone man, wore the Superocean’s $11,490 Australian model.

A solid 57% percent increase.

It was not just in one pictorial. The Boy from Cocoa Beach wore a 57% more expensive watch whilst the three lounged in a car,  ran on the seashore, stood on some rocks making apparent jokes.

Gilmore and Fitzgibbons never got to wear it.

Only Kelly Slater.

But do you imagine if he takes over as World Surf League CEO, as many want, that the men will receive a 57% pay bump while with the women remaining flat?

Moxie, man.

This story number 4978 brought to you by VAER watches. Use promo code splendor15 to receive 15% off the non-sexist watch of your choice.

"Do we want kids to die and ride bikes and be free and all that, or do we just want kids to be safe and not die?"

E-bikes have, for better or worse, become a ubiquitous part of the Southern California surf experience. Like manna, or locusts, depending on your personal bent, they have descended upon beach towns from San Diego to Santa Cruz, whizzing along various bike paths at various freeway speeds, carting whole families plus their Yeti coolers, umbrellas and Wavestorms, cutting the tradition Trestles walk from twenty minutes to two.

Joel Tudor, anti-e-bike, recently posted a video mocking a tens upon tens of freedom machines getting taken out by a rogue wave, recently.

Fans of technology excoriated him for being grouchy.

Thus far, there are very few regulations concerning electric power. They are allowed everywhere that traditional bikes are but the tide may be turning.

During the early part of this summer, in Encinitas just thirty clicks north of San Diego, a well-liked 15-year-old was struck by a work van and tragically died. By all accounts, the boy was not being dangerous nor the driver at fault. Just a horrible accident though one that may lead to changes.

The city council declared a “local state of emergency,” in the aftermath and is debating putting at age limit on e-bikes, require a written test and a photo ID for those without driver’s licenses.

Niko Sougias, owner of Charlie’s Electric Bike in Encinitas, told Channel 10 news, “We should consider maybe 13, 14 or 15-year-olds be exempt from e-bikes. I just cringe anytime I see a kid almost get hit, and it’s like, what are we? Do we want kids to die and ride bikes and be free and all that, or do we just want kids to be safe and not die; I want kids to be safe and not die.”

Former Olympic cyclist Shaun Wallace, though, disagrees, sharing, “Anything that regulates cycling is likely to have a net negative effect whether it’s requiring licensing, or registration or helmets overall because the benefits so outweigh the risks. Perhaps kids under 12 don’t really need an e-bike. It’s not like they’re going off doing the grocery shopping or commuting to work, so if they have to actually pedal the thing themselves on 100% kid power. I think that’s probably not a bad thing either.”

But what are your thoughts on the matter?

Do you believe that e-bikes should be free, that the nanny state will always lead to hell or that common sense has a limit?