Surfing (left) and Jiu Jitstu (right). The new peanut butter and jelly. Photo: Instagram
Surfing (left) and Jiu Jitstu (right). The new peanut butter and jelly. Photo: Instagram

World’s manliest boy Mark Zuckerberg combines love of fighting and surfing in one epic day date with BJJ champ Mikey Musumeci

"LOOK WHO TAUGHT ME HOW TO SURF TODAY !!!"

The planned fight between South Africa’s Elon Musk and the world’s manliest boy Mark Zuckerberg appears to be off but that has not stopped the Facebook founder from “training for his MMA debut.” Zuckerberg, 39 going on 12, has not been shy about his falling in love with combat sport. His social media feeds constantly showcasing “rolling” with this or that fight star. He has a blue belt in Brazilian jiujitsu and appears to be learning the strike game these days.

Alas, there was once a time, and not long ago, where only surfing sparked the 5’7 145 lber’s eye. Dalliances with Kai Lenny, who described his as “super cool, super fit.” Admitting to tackling “big waves.”

Surfers, who had grown accustomed to and even fond of his attention, maybe taking it for granted, left cold and sad with his embrace of indoor gymnasiums and dojos.

But a glimmer of hope?

For just hours ago, Mikey Musumeci, a five-time International Brazilian Jiu Jitsu Federation black belt champion, was taught to surf by Zuckerberg himself in what appears to be an exchange.

“LOOK WHO TAUGHT ME HOW TO SURF TODAY !!!” the 27-year-old captioned his post. “So many hours of training today and also my first time ever surfing (my surf professor @zuck) !! Having so much fun!!!!”

Surf Professor Zuck responded, “You nailed wake surfing your first session! And thanks for the training.”

Not all were ecstatic at the union.

“You are an awful individual. How many lives have you and the rest of the lizards ruined?” Santbc commented.

“Stop buying friends Richie Rich,” dnymarban added.

“@zuck is the enemy @mikeymusumeci he helped censor licensed phd dr during covid. His part of the problem. Never forget what they did we can forgive them but never forget,” lilpaul84 hit back.

“This man helped contribute to your coach losing his gym – and now you’re surfing with him? Embarrassing,” littlechild.bjj threw down.

Tough crowd.

In any case, is BJJ and wake surfing in the same day the new snowboarding and regular surfing in the same day?

Think upon it.

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Things sure did look grim for Ewing after his Teahupoo wipeout.

Ethan Ewing’s spinal injury “blown out of proportion” and he will surf for historic world title on Finals Day

“He’s playing mind games with the Brazilians.”

Yesterday, the beleaguered World Surf League came under fire for “passive aggressively trolling Ethan Ewing” after it posted a heat draw for September’s one-day grand final.

As y’know, the top five rated men and women will compete at Lower Trestles some time between September 8 and 16 for a one-day shoot-out that’ll decide the world champions.

 

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A post shared by EE (@ethan_ewing)

Ewing, as you also know, busted a couple of vertebrae in his spine while practising for the Tahiti Pro and the early prognosis was a three-month wait for surgery followed by six months out of the water.

Hence no Finals Day or swing at title for Ewing.

“Maybe they could use a nice picture from him in hospital.”

So why put him in the draw? Surf fans felt the same and lit up the WSL.

This is starting to feel like you’re just passive aggressively trolling Ethan

there is a WSL obscenity all over the post putting this up.

maybe they could use a nice picture from him in hospital.

So is EE going to compete as a bodyboarder or how is he supposed to surf with a broken back?

The word on the street now, if that’s what you want to call it, is the WSL were right to feature Ewing on their graphics as the world number three-rated surfer’s injury has been “blown out of proportion”, he’s “definitely mobile” and will, likely, compete at Lowers.

Already, half a score of surfers from Ewing’s island home, North Stradbroke, have booked tickets to California to watch their hero bring home the trophy.

Ewing’s own silence on the matter is, according to one observer, his way of “playing mind games with the Brazilians” in particular the reigning champ and small-wave specialist Filipe Toledo who is expected to easily retain his title in the consequence-free waves.

Ewing’s relationship with Brazilian fans has been strained ever since WSL judges preferred his velvet lines over Medina’s bag of tricks at the Surf Ranch Pro a few months back, one even threatening to murder the innocent Australian.

The shift in judging, from rewarding frenetic but unpretty airs to melting over smooth combos, suits Ewing whose surfing is so beautiful it excites the sensitive soul to tears.

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Greg Browning
L-R: Benji Weatherly, Rob Machado, Ross Williams, Greg Browning, Taylor Knox, Shane Dorian, Kelly Slater, Donovan Frankenreiter, Conan Hayes. | Photo: @tsherms/Steve Sherman

Surf stars rally around beloved filmmaker and Momentum Generation star Greg Browning diagnosed with incurable motor neurone disease

“The nicest guy gets thrown around a lot but he actually is one of the most giving friends."

The creator of the beloved Drive-Thru series and former star of Taylor Steele’s Momentum rock-and-cock films, Greg Browning, is in the ring for the fight of his life after being diagnosed with the incurable neurodegenerative disease ALS aka motor-neurone disease aka Lou Gehrig’s disease.

The prognosis depends upon the person, and Browning is fit as a bull and blessed with an optimistic soul, but MND generally leads to increasing muscle weakness, loss of mobility, difficulties in speaking and swallowing, and eventually respiratory failure.

Kid rips, as they say. Greg on the cover of Surfing.

Surf stars, including Shane Dorian and Tati West, as well as his old mentor Taylor Steele have rallied around Browning.

“Hard to put into words how good of a human Greg Browning is,” writes Dorian.

 

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A post shared by Tatiana Weston-Webb (@tatiwest)

 

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A post shared by Shane Dorian (@shanedorian)

Greg’s pal Keith Brewer has created a GoFundMe account, this is America after all where the sick are left with two choices, bankruptcy or death, raising almost seventy k of a quarter-mill target.

Medication and therapy can slow ALS and reduce discomfort, but there’s no cure.

My brother and I grew up with Greg in the South Bay (Manhattan and Hermosa Beach, CA). We honed our surfing skills at 16th St, Hermosa Beach with the help of our good friend, Howard Eddy, who would film all of us, every day, twice a day. Not only did Greg out-surf everyone in the South Bay by winning multiple amateur contests, he went on to have a successful career as a nationally recognized free-surfer. He is a member of the Momentum Generation- with Kelly Slater, Rob Machado, Shane Dorian, Ross Williams, The Malloys, and more. He had several segments in the most popular hardcore surf movies of the 90’s.

Throughout Greg’s surfing career, he was always interested in editing surf movies, after learning from Howard Eddy. He released several local underground videotapes featuring my brother and I, along with other local rippers. He worked with Taylor Steele editing and picked it up pretty well, creating the hit series Drive Thru!

Greg is one of the most giving people I have ever met and we would love to give back to him. We would love for him to live a stress-free life and have all of his future medical bills taken care of. Please help us in raising funds for one of the best Humans ever!

Taylor Steele, meanwhile, posted Greg’s section from his film GoodTimes.

 

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A post shared by Taylor Steele (@taylorsteele)

“The nicest guy gets thrown around a lot but he actually is one of the most giving friends,” writes Taylor.

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New fragrance “Surfing Shipstern Bluff for Men by Zara” now for sale on leading perfume website

"Notes of urine and poison oak."

But what is your position on cologne? Do you wear sometimes? Only date night? Never while assuming that men who do are, as Joel Tudor would say, retarded? Assuming you sometimes spritz yourself, which direction do you turn? Woody? Undertones of tobacco? Bright and floral?

Well, if you are looking for some guidance, I’m sure your friends below the line, here, will provide some but there is also leading fragrance website fragrantica.com. I just so happened to be there yesterday, examining Tom Ford’s Oud Wood. According to the artificial intelligence that creates detailed information culled from multiple reviews, the scent’s main accords are woody, warm spicy, vanilla, balsamic and amber.

Yum.

Coincidentally, surfing’s great historian Matt Warshaw just so happened to be on fragrantica too, though something different caught his eye.

Surfing Shipstern Bluff for Men by the fast fashion retailer Zara.

Emailing Derek and I, he asked, “Is this for real do you think?”

It looked real to me but Rielly, world savvy, clicked the links and realized it wasn’t available anywhere.

Sad.

Warshaw, anyhow, surmised it would have notes of urine and poison oak.

I think balls would be most forward on the nose.

In any case, it is unfortunate that it is not real but mostly for former World Surf League CEO Erik Logan who would have sprayed liberally over his Filipe Toledo naked chest shirt and tried to hit on Keala Kennelly.

What a weirdo.

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World Surf League Chief Strategist Dave Prodan blames climate change for tour’s lackluster waves

"Uncommon weather phenomena on tour."

The weather, amirite? Hurricanes in California, heat waves in Washington, flooding in the Caribbean and zero waves all year on the World Surf League’s Championship Tour. While bloat, poor planning, bad windows, incompetence, falling in love with tourism boards and antiquated event structures could be blamed for the latter, the WSL’s very own Chief Strategist, Dave Prodan, has pointed his wizened finger at another culprit.

Climate change.

Taking to his very popular podcast The Lineup, which acts as a sort of right think propaganda machine for competitive professional surfing at its highest level, Prodan shared with guest Mitch Salazar that “uncommon weather phenomena on tour” led to baby swells during the entire 2023 season.

Dastardly.

But do you think the powers that be will take this into account for next year, paying attention to global warming, cooling, etc. and where waves might be and when or do you imagine that stops one through ten will be moved to Lemoore, California where it is always shoulder high and tubing (stop eleven remaining at Lower Trestles, of course)?

What would Joel Tudor do?

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