But what is your position on cologne? Do you wear sometimes? Only date night? Never while assuming that men who do are, as Joel Tudor would say, retarded? Assuming you sometimes spritz yourself, which direction do you turn? Woody? Undertones of tobacco? Bright and floral?
Well, if you are looking for some guidance, I’m sure your friends below the line, here, will provide some but there is also leading fragrance website fragrantica.com. I just so happened to be there yesterday, examining Tom Ford’s Oud Wood. According to the artificial intelligence that creates detailed information culled from multiple reviews, the scent’s main accords are woody, warm spicy, vanilla, balsamic and amber.
Coincidentally, surfing’s great historian Matt Warshaw just so happened to be on fragrantica too, though something different caught his eye.
Emailing Derek and I, he asked, “Is this for real do you think?”
It looked real to me but Rielly, world savvy, clicked the links and realized it wasn’t available anywhere.
Warshaw, anyhow, surmised it would have notes of urine and poison oak.
I think balls would be most forward on the nose.
In any case, it is unfortunate that it is not real but mostly for former World Surf League CEO Erik Logan who would have sprayed liberally over his Filipe Toledo naked chest shirt and tried to hit on Keala Kennelly.
What a weirdo.
World Surf League Chief Strategist Dave Prodan blames climate change for tour’s lackluster waves
The weather, amirite?Hurricanes in California, heat waves in Washington, flooding in the Caribbean and zero waves all year on the World Surf League’s Championship Tour. While bloat, poor planning, bad windows, incompetence, falling in love with tourism boards and antiquated event structures could be blamed for the latter, the WSL’s very own Chief Strategist, Dave Prodan, has pointed his wizened finger at another culprit.
Taking to his very popular podcast The Lineup, which acts as a sort of right think propaganda machine for competitive professional surfing at its highest level, Prodan shared with guest Mitch Salazar that “uncommon weather phenomena on tour” led to baby swells during the entire 2023 season.
But do you think the powers that be will take this into account for next year, paying attention to global warming, cooling, etc. and where waves might be and when or do you imagine that stops one through ten will be moved to Lemoore, California where it is always shoulder high and tubing (stop eleven remaining at Lower Trestles, of course)?
What would Joel Tudor do?
Coleman, left, and Chris Davidson.
Grant Coleman pleads guilty to one-punch killing of Australian surf star Chris “Doctor Damage” Davidson outside country club
Two hours after calling Davo a "pedophile" Coleman, who had "swiftly punched Davidson to the jaw with his right fist", killing him, was in police custody.
Real hard to believe it’s been a year since Chris Davidson, the wildly talented Narrabeen surfer who beat Kelly Slater twice in a row at Bells in 1996, was killed in a “one-punch assault” outside the grandly named South West Rocks Country Club, five or so hours north of Sydney.
Davidson, who was forty-five, was knocked unconscious, treated at the scene by the ambos and taken to Kempsey Hospital but pronounced dead a short time later.
Grant Coleman, brother of the noted rugby union coach Darren Coleman, was arrested an hour after the attack and charged with Davidson’s death.
Earlier today, Coleman, who is forty-three, appeared in Kempsey Local Court via an AV link from jail where he pleaded guilty to “assault causing death.”
Court docs reveal Davidson and Coleman were both at the South West Rocks Country Club on the arvo of September 24, 2022. Later that night, at 10:22 pm, Coleman saw Davidson with a nineteen-year-old girl and called him a “pedophile.”
Two hours later, Davo was dead and Coleman, who had “swiftly punched Davidson to the jaw with his right fist” outside the club, was in police custody and charged with assault causing death.
The charge of “assault causing death” is one of those rare offences where minimum sentences apply, the law coming into play after a series of highly publicised attacks where men were killed after being belted, all late at night, all alcohol fuelled.
Coleman faces a max of twenty years in prison, twenty-five if he was intoxicated, with a minimum sixteen year total sentence, eight of ‘em in full-time custody.
Davo was anointed as a surf star in his early teens, the raw foil to Tom Curren in Rip Curl’s then cutting-edge Search advertising campaign, which was created by the writer Derek Hynd.
In 1996, aged nineteen, Davo was gifted a wildcard into the Rip Curl Bells event, then one of the most prestigious contests in surfing.
Now, you gotta remember, in 1996, Kelly was at his peak, twenty-four, unstoppable.
Dave, loose as anything, more rockstar than Hoy and co, rolled up to his round one heat with a borrowed board and no leash.
Davo, lowest seed, got Kelly, highest, in round three and did it again, Kelly so sad he gave the finger to the judges.
Recent years weren’t so kind to Davo, although let’s be frank, he did burn the candle at both ends, as well as the sides and through the guts.
In 2006, he copped a ten-year driving ban and ten years later, officially back behind the wheel, he crashed his mum’s car into a tree while pissed, cops charging Davo with high-end drink-driving.
A resident who heard the terrific noise, went outside and found Davo slumped in his seat, unmoving. Apart from internal injuries, he suffered severe damage to the ligaments in his neck and would later undergo surgery to his right arm.
If you want to see surfing Davo at his best, watch any of Sonny Miller’s films for Rip Curl or if you want a taste of the man in all his raw glory, watch this.
“Now that you’re normal let me ask you one question,” says interviewer GT.
“I’m never normal,” growls Davo.
Interviewer GT asks, “If someone wrote a book about you what would it be called?”
Without hesitation, Davo replies “Doctor Damage and his Tiger Blood!”
One of a kind.
World Surf League accused of “passive aggressively trolling Ethan Ewing” as surf fans mutiny over controversial Finals Day format
Eventually, the WSL allowed that if Ewing cannot compete the men’s div would be reduced to four with the winner of the first heat, fourth and fifth-rated Joao Chianca and Jack Robinson, gifted a bye into the penultimate heat against world number two Griffin Colapinto. Win that and y’into the final against tiny-wave tyro and reigning world champ Pip Toledo.
Despite our sources telling us Ewing is “not in good shape” and may have to wait three months for an operation, followed by six months out of the water, the WSL continues to presume Ewing will compete in the event, running graphics that include Ewing.
And, oowee, it’s driving the WSL’s own fans nuts.
This is starting to feel like you’re just passive aggressively trolling Ethan
there is a WSL obscenity all over the post putting this up.
maybe they could use a nice picture from him in hospital.
Wtf Ethan Ewing won’t recover in time everybody knows you better update the rule book and tell us if Medina replaces him or if it’s gonna be a 4 men’s final, you act so silly sometimes
So is EE going to compete as a bodyboarder or how is he supposed to surf with a broken back?
The lack of transparency on Ethan’s condition and his replacement is beyond ridiculous. Do we need to wait until “make or break” covers it? Why not release a statement about his possible replacement in the event he can not recover on time? It isn’t difficult. Medina should take the number 5 spot and every other surfer should move one spot closer to Filipe “cavern dodger” Toledo
Not putting the next in the rankings if Ethan Ewing can’t run due to injury is a big mess to the surfers and the public!!! Haven’t been looking forward to watching this tour joke in a while…
Why wouldn’t you replace Ethan with Medina? I don’t even like him but it’s stupid to run it this way. I was so excited that things would get better when Logan got the axe. It’s just more of the same. Maybe Eric Logan just got all the blame but was never the problem. Put the best surfers in the best waves. @redbull please start the purple blob tour.
The @wsl and @ethan_ewing are both keeping conspicuously silent about what’s going on. How about an update on his back injury? How serious was the injury? No one is saying anything.
How hard is it to say:
1. Due to the wipeout in Tahiti, @ethan_ewing will not compete for the world title at Trestles. Or 2. Medical professionals are watching @ethan_ewing closely, the severity of the injury is not fully known at this time and he might still be able to compete. Or 3. @ethan_ewing has withdrawn due to injury, and the #3 spot will go to @joaochumbinho, #4@jackrobinson72 and #5 the next highest ranked surfer, @gabrielmedina. Then they can put all this suspicious drama and politics to rest.
that’s exactly what a statement of the WSL should look like!
And they know exactly that Ethan won’t be able to compete…and he shouldn’t! He shouldn’t be under pressure, he needs to focus on the healing process.
And it’s ridiculous if they don’t replace Ethan. They do it all the time when a surfer is injured. (And I think it’d be a good idea to add Ethan’s throwaway points to his end result.)
And on, and on. When they’re not tearing hell out of the WSL on Ewing it’s the Finals Day format although, here, I differ from majority opinion. It’s the only contest of the year that has any meaningful drama throughout the course of the event.
As much as a bitch needs dick sometimes she needs a director more.
And Finals Day was Logan’s crowning glory.
Lone Ranger who has appropriated @philiptoledo Instagram account shreds Brazilian superstar ahead of Finals Day
We live in the future, all of us, where electric FedEx trucks sing songs while double parking, the world’s richest man Jeff Bezos has married an AI bot and sitting world surfing champion Filipe Toledo, who refuses to paddle into big lefts, has his Instagram account run by a troll.
Aliens also, apparently, exist, but back to Filipe Toledo. The Brazilian flyboy has lived in the United States of America, near Lower Trestles, for some time now thereby rending his name Philip Toledo. Wonderful and blended with the only trouble arising from the fact that he doesn’t actually own the name “Philip Toledo” on Instagram though somebody does do who enjoys commenting about fear and big waves on other posts.
Very funny and true, though I’m trying to get real inside information from Toledo himself on why he don’t like to go big and left thanks to our Voice Of No Reason’s pushing.
In the meantime, and with the Teahupo’o Olympics coming up, do you think Philip is ready to actually face his fear legitimately?