New fragrance “Surfing Shipstern Bluff for
Men by Zara” now for sale on leading perfume website
By Chas Smith
"Notes of urine and poison oak."
But what is your position on cologne? Do you
wear sometimes? Only date night? Never while assuming that men who
do are, as Joel Tudor would say, retarded? Assuming you sometimes
spritz yourself, which direction do you turn? Woody? Undertones of
tobacco? Bright and floral?
Well, if you are looking for some guidance, I’m sure your
friends below the line, here, will provide some but there is also
leading fragrance website fragrantica.com. I just so happened to be
there yesterday, examining Tom Ford’s Oud Wood. According to the
artificial intelligence that creates detailed information culled
from multiple reviews, the scent’s main accords are woody, warm
spicy, vanilla, balsamic and amber.
Yum.
Coincidentally, surfing’s great historian Matt Warshaw just so
happened to be on fragrantica too, though something different
caught his eye.
Emailing Derek and I, he asked, “Is this for real do you
think?”
It looked real to me but Rielly, world savvy, clicked the links
and realized it wasn’t available anywhere.
Sad.
Warshaw, anyhow, surmised it would have notes of urine and
poison oak.
I think balls would be most forward on the nose.
In any case, it is unfortunate that it is not real but mostly
for former World Surf League CEO Erik Logan who would have sprayed
liberally over his Filipe Toledo naked chest shirt and tried to hit
on Keala Kennelly.
What a weirdo.
Loading comments...
Load Comments
0
World Surf League Chief Strategist Dave
Prodan blames climate change for tour’s lackluster waves
By Chas Smith
"Uncommon weather phenomena on tour."
The weather, amirite?Hurricanes in
California, heat waves in Washington, flooding in the
Caribbean and zero waves all year on the World Surf League’s
Championship Tour. While bloat, poor planning, bad windows,
incompetence, falling in love with tourism boards and antiquated
event structures could be blamed for the latter, the WSL’s very own
Chief Strategist, Dave Prodan, has pointed his wizened finger at
another culprit.
Climate change.
Taking to his very popular podcast The
Lineup, which acts as a sort of right think propaganda
machine for competitive professional surfing at its highest level,
Prodan shared with guest Mitch Salazar that “uncommon weather
phenomena on tour” led to baby swells during the entire 2023
season.
Dastardly.
But do you think the powers that be will take this into account
for next year, paying attention to global warming, cooling, etc.
and where waves might be and when or do you imagine that stops one
through ten will be moved to Lemoore, California where it is always
shoulder high and tubing (stop eleven remaining at Lower Trestles,
of course)?
What would Joel Tudor do?
Loading comments...
Load Comments
0
Coleman, left, and Chris Davidson.
Grant Coleman pleads guilty to one-punch
killing of Australian surf star Chris “Doctor Damage” Davidson
outside country club
By Derek Rielly
Two hours after calling Davo a "pedophile" Coleman,
who had "swiftly punched Davidson to the jaw with his right fist",
killing him, was in police custody.
Real hard to believe it’s been a year since Chris Davidson,
thewildly talented Narrabeen surfer who beat Kelly Slater
twice in a row at Bells in 1996, was killed in a “one-punch
assault” outside the grandly named South West Rocks Country
Club, five or so hours north of Sydney.
Davidson, who was forty-five, was knocked unconscious, treated
at the scene by the ambos and taken to Kempsey Hospital but
pronounced dead a short time later.
Grant Coleman, brother of the noted rugby union coach Darren
Coleman, was arrested an hour after the attack and charged with
Davidson’s death.
Earlier today, Coleman, who is forty-three, appeared in Kempsey
Local Court via an AV link from jail where he pleaded guilty to
“assault causing death.”
Court docs reveal Davidson and Coleman were both at the South
West Rocks Country Club on the arvo of September 24, 2022. Later
that night, at 10:22 pm, Coleman saw Davidson with a
nineteen-year-old girl and called him a “pedophile.”
Two hours later, Davo was dead and Coleman, who had “swiftly
punched Davidson to the jaw with his right fist” outside the club,
was in police custody and charged with assault causing death.
The charge of “assault causing death” is one of those rare
offences where minimum sentences apply, the law coming into play
after a series of highly publicised attacks where men were killed
after being belted, all late at night, all alcohol
fuelled.
Coleman faces a max of twenty years in prison, twenty-five if he
was intoxicated, with a minimum sixteen year total sentence, eight
of ‘em in full-time custody.
Davo was anointed as a surf star in his early teens, the raw
foil to Tom Curren in Rip Curl’s then cutting-edge Search
advertising campaign, which was created by the writer Derek
Hynd.
In 1996, aged nineteen, Davo was gifted a wildcard into the Rip
Curl Bells event, then one of the most prestigious contests in
surfing.
Now, you gotta remember, in 1996, Kelly was at his peak,
twenty-four, unstoppable.
Dave, loose as anything, more rockstar than Hoy and co, rolled
up to his round one heat with a borrowed board and no leash.
And…smoked…Kelly.
Davo, lowest seed, got Kelly, highest, in round three and did it
again, Kelly so sad he gave the finger to the judges.
Recent years weren’t so kind to Davo, although let’s be frank,
he did burn the candle at both ends, as well as the sides and
through the guts.
In 2006, he copped a ten-year driving ban and ten years later,
officially back behind the wheel, he crashed his mum’s car into a
tree while pissed, cops charging Davo with high-end
drink-driving.
A resident who heard the terrific noise, went outside and found
Davo slumped in his seat, unmoving. Apart from internal injuries,
he suffered severe damage to the ligaments in his neck and would
later undergo surgery to his right arm.
If you want to see surfing Davo at his best, watch any of Sonny
Miller’s films for Rip Curl or if you want a taste of the man in
all his raw glory, watch this.
“Now that you’re normal let me ask you one question,” says
interviewer GT.
“I’m never normal,” growls Davo.
Interviewer GT asks, “If someone wrote a book about you what
would it be called?”
Without hesitation, Davo replies “Doctor Damage and his Tiger
Blood!”
One of a kind.
Loading comments...
Load Comments
0
World Surf League accused of “passive
aggressively trolling Ethan Ewing” as surf fans mutiny over
controversial Finals Day format
By Derek Rielly
“So is Ethan Ewing going to compete as a
bodyboarder or how is he supposed to surf with a broken back?”
In a couple of weeks, the top five rated men and women
will compete at Lower Trestles in a one-day grand final
that’ll decide the world champions.
Eventually, the WSL allowed that if Ewing cannot compete the
men’s div would be reduced to four with the winner of the first
heat, fourth and fifth-rated Joao Chianca and Jack Robinson, gifted
a bye into the penultimate heat against world number two Griffin
Colapinto. Win that and y’into
the final against tiny-wave tyro and reigning world champ Pip
Toledo.
Despite our sources telling us Ewing is “not in good shape” and
may have to wait three months for an operation, followed by six
months out of the water, the WSL continues to presume Ewing will
compete in the event, running graphics that include Ewing.
And, oowee, it’s driving the WSL’s own fans nuts.
This is starting to feel like you’re just passive
aggressively trolling Ethan
there is a WSL obscenity all over the post putting this
up.
maybe they could use a nice picture from him in
hospital.
Wtf Ethan Ewing won’t recover in time everybody knows you
better update the rule book and tell us if Medina replaces him or
if it’s gonna be a 4 men’s final, you act so silly
sometimes
So is EE going to compete as a bodyboarder or how is he
supposed to surf with a broken back?
The lack of transparency on Ethan’s condition and his
replacement is beyond ridiculous. Do we need to wait until “make or
break” covers it? Why not release a statement about his possible
replacement in the event he can not recover on time? It isn’t
difficult. Medina should take the number 5 spot and every other
surfer should move one spot closer to Filipe “cavern dodger”
Toledo
Not putting the next in the rankings if Ethan Ewing can’t
run due to injury is a big mess to the surfers and the public!!!
Haven’t been looking forward to watching this tour joke in a
while…
Why wouldn’t you replace Ethan with Medina? I don’t even
like him but it’s stupid to run it this way. I was so excited that
things would get better when Logan got the axe. It’s just more of
the same. Maybe Eric Logan just got all the blame but was never the
problem. Put the best surfers in the best waves. @redbull please start the
purple blob tour.
The @wsl and
@ethan_ewing
are both keeping conspicuously silent about what’s going on. How
about an update on his back injury? How serious was the injury? No
one is saying anything.
How hard is it to say:
1. Due to the wipeout in Tahiti, @ethan_ewing will not
compete for the world title at Trestles. Or 2. Medical
professionals are watching @ethan_ewing closely,
the severity of the injury is not fully known at this time and he
might still be able to compete. Or 3. @ethan_ewing has
withdrawn due to injury, and the #3 spot will go to
@joaochumbinho,
#4@jackrobinson72 and
#5 the next
highest ranked surfer, @gabrielmedina. Then
they can put all this suspicious drama and politics to
rest.
that’s exactly what a statement of the WSL should look
like!
And they know exactly that Ethan won’t be able to
compete…and he shouldn’t! He shouldn’t be under pressure, he needs
to focus on the healing process.
And it’s ridiculous if they don’t replace Ethan. They do it
all the time when a surfer is injured. (And I think it’d be a good
idea to add Ethan’s throwaway points to his end result.)
And on, and on. When they’re
not tearing hell out of the WSL on Ewing it’s the Finals Day format
although, here, I differ from majority opinion. It’s the only
contest of the year that has any meaningful drama throughout the
course of the event.
As much as a bitch needs
dick sometimes she needs a director more.
And Finals Day was Logan’s
crowning glory.
Yes?
Loading comments...
Load Comments
0
Lone Ranger who has appropriated
@philiptoledo Instagram account shreds Brazilian superstar ahead of
Finals Day
By Chas Smith
"YES!! NO BIG WAVES THEY SCARE ME."
We live in the future, all of us, where
electric FedEx trucks sing songs while double parking, the world’s
richest man Jeff Bezos has married an AI bot and sitting world
surfing champion Filipe Toledo, who refuses to paddle into big
lefts, has his Instagram account run by a troll.
Wild.
Aliens also, apparently, exist, but back to Filipe Toledo. The
Brazilian flyboy has lived in the United States of America, near
Lower Trestles, for some time now thereby rending his name Philip
Toledo. Wonderful and blended with the only trouble arising from
the fact that he doesn’t actually own the name “Philip Toledo” on
Instagram though somebody does do who enjoys commenting about fear
and big waves on other posts.
A sampling.
Very funny and true, though I’m trying to get real inside
information from Toledo himself on why he don’t like to go big and
left thanks to our Voice Of No Reason’s pushing.
Light candles.
In the meantime, and with the Teahupo’o Olympics coming up, do
you think Philip is ready to actually face his fear
legitimately?