Fellow CT surfers who made the trip to Rio de Janeiro must certainly be buoyed seeing their GOAT the picture of health and wellness.
Days ago, surf fans had all but lost faith in a higher power after Kelly Slater had stunningly revealed that he had come down with a likely fatal illness right ahead of the Vivo Rio Pro surf contest in beautiful Brazil.
Amateur virologists were certain Slater had been stricken with deadly spinal meningitis and encouraged surf fans to immediately light candles for his recovery.
Alas, the Rio Pro kicked-off, World Surf League CEO Erik Logan there, inching closer to multiple restraining orders, but no world’s greatest competitive surfer.
Was no one listening?
But soft! What light through yonder window breaks? It is the west and Kelly Slater has been spotted on the beach in Hawaii looking typically robust and dressed in a tight white “Pipeline Bodysurfing Contest” t-shirt from 2017, long shorts and with feet wrapped in his new turtle and moon inspired Klly sandals.
And I would have to think those fellow Championship Tour surfers who made the trip to Rio de Janeiro then Saquarema must certainly be buoyed seeing their GOAT the picture of health and wellness. They all had, of course, survived the dreaded mid-season cut and earned the requirement to appear. Slater had been gifted a never-before-encountered season-long wildcard and was even allowed to keep his points, unlike any before him.
Spinal meningitis certainly a bitch.
But all better now and just in time for J-Bay.
Who could have scripted this?
Commented on Disqus? Log out, tap the Disqus button, and your old name and comments come back. The box is ours.
Your comments are still here. Every one of them.
Twelve years of BeachGrit comments came across from Disqus. Connect and we will show you how many are yours. We get your username, nothing else.
Connect Disqus to reveal.
One could get on the other’s shoulders and wear a trench coat to sneak into a matinée.
IDK – those eyes aren’t sparkling their normal sparkle. Looks like still in recovery.
“Glad Kelly made a speedy recovery from such a horrible disease. Hopefully he’ll survive through the extent his wildcard” posted Ramzi Boukhiam.
nah for him it’s because he so set in his ways – there is bananas, the rest melons etc he doesnt eat – so to him nothing fresh!!! Beans and rice and spices not his go
I guess you might be joking, if there’s a variety of anything in Brazil, especially Rio de Janeiro, it is fresh fruits.
If you mean it when you throw it there’s no need to feel dirty
I had forgotten That there was a contest on
…on the nose…hangin’ ten to the power of…_________?
Does a Kelly piss in the sand?
,if a kelly pisses in the the forest does anybody hear ?
Wassell is usually doing ALL the talkin…is also known for his keen hearin’….this pic deserves a wider audience and further explanations! damn it.
That spinal meneminimgititus sure had a serious effect! Look at his legs now!!! They’re totally shrunken!!!!
Wow! How’s he going to ride his bicycle round the wave pool now?!?!
I guess a low centre of gravity might help surfing I guess. His girlfriend must totally tower over the wee dwarfy guy now.
If he puts on high top vans, they’ll be up round his knees!
Poor guy.
Oh well. I guess he can go try to scratch a living in the booth if Turpel puts a little stepladder down for him to climb up onto a chair.
Say whatever you want about Kelly but dont go knocking long shorts
“Inching closer to multiple restraining orders” Well played
They going to be fucking squeezing the full lemon as only looks like waves fri sat at best in Rio
Blame it on Rio?
His recovery from near-death spinal meningitis is incredible – Ke12y getting sick before Brasil for eight consecutive years is about as creditable and believable as Andy Irons dying from dengue fever.
Just saying.
He last surfed in Brazil in 2019.
It in the Lost Tapes. Ep 5.
Twenty Seventeen
Mike Stewart, Kelly, Turtles
A Conspiracy
I’m no epidemeologist, entimologist, or sofished. my word? sustained~
sauza, ceviche and pollo plato. el norteno’s oxnard. make VTA marina. safe at home~smokin
Da Goat
My bro in Canada checked in on my uncle yesterday – I’m yet to hear back
He been going down to event site and then basically just like here fuck all info and it just off!!
He pretty pissed off saying seems fucking unorganised!! But weather is warm.
He struggling on diet there still – no fruit or fresh bread or vegies apparently. Back in Sydney he goes shops every day to buy a roll, ham and tomato though mainly to perve on young girls in bakery!!
Apparently his Brazilian GF spends all day on her phone – as he boring AF or over him??
In short good on him for traveling there at 82 but sounds like he having a fucked time!!
A Brazilian GF at 82?! When I grow up I want to be your uncle.
Mate he was parading himself in his sluggoes on Sydney beach somehow chatted to the GF’s daughter – after telling the daughter he was a single widow with his own car and house the call was “you should meet my mother!!”
“Ok” – and here we are!!!
That makes perfect sense!
Wow, take a bow Chas you cunt. And us too, take a bow. We put up with allll his bullshit and these are the beautiful moments where it all comes to fruition. Magnifique. Xox
He writes best when he writes about nothing at all.
Y’Oura Ringpiece, Kelly !
Now in Giant size !