Deathbed-bound Kelly Slater miraculously recovers from fatal illness!

Fellow CT surfers who made the trip to Rio de Janeiro must certainly be buoyed seeing their GOAT the picture of health and wellness.

Days ago, surf fans had all but lost faith in a higher power after Kelly Slater had stunningly revealed that he had come down with a likely fatal illness right ahead of the Vivo Rio Pro surf contest in beautiful Brazil. 

“When my sickness started the other day,” the 11x champion wrote on his Instagram page, sharing a photo of oura ring data. “On day 5 of being sick now. Fevers, sinus, chills, headache, stomach flu, etc. Glad I made it home amidst the onslaught.”

Amateur virologists were certain Slater had been stricken with deadly spinal meningitis and encouraged surf fans to immediately light candles for his recovery. 

Alas, the Rio Pro kicked-off, World Surf League CEO Erik Logan there, inching closer to multiple restraining orders, but no world’s greatest competitive surfer. 

Was no one listening?

But soft! What light through yonder window breaks? It is the west and Kelly Slater has been spotted on the beach in Hawaii looking typically robust and dressed in a tight white “Pipeline Bodysurfing Contest” t-shirt from 2017, long shorts and with feet wrapped in his new turtle and moon inspired Klly sandals. 

“For the design of the sandal, Kelly was particularly moved by the mysterious and special relationship between the moon and sea turtle. Turtles have 13 large scales that represent the 13 lunar cycles in each year and 28 smaller scales that represent the days in each cycle. As a tribute to these coexisting forces, Kelly designed the top of the sandal to mirror the moon’s surface while the bottom sole represents the turtle’s scales. Additional styles and sizing are set to release later this year.”

And I would have to think those fellow Championship Tour surfers who made the trip to Rio de Janeiro then Saquarema must certainly be buoyed seeing their GOAT the picture of health and wellness. They all had, of course, survived the dreaded mid-season cut and earned the requirement to appear. Slater had been gifted a never-before-encountered season-long wildcard and was even allowed to keep his points, unlike any before him. 

Spinal meningitis certainly a bitch. 

But all better now and just in time for J-Bay. 

Who could have scripted this?