Surfers grow furious at wild appropriation as new hair product promises to give man on the street famed “surfer hair” without “beach waves!”

"Natural-looking surfer curls in any type of hair without beach waves."

Appropriation, man. The biggest problem of our day. People wandering around “culture” like it is a giant buffet just picking and choosing what they dig, trying it, seeing if it is “tasty” or not all while completely ignoring the pain and suffering associated with various items or styles. Take designer Marc Jacobs trotting his all-white models down the runway sporting dreadlocks, Avatar: Way of Water wherein actors employed “blueface” to cosplay people of color, Coldplay turning the country of India in a “white person’s fevered dream.”

Or Surf Spray 2.0 from Surf Cosmetic.

“Surf Spray 2.0…” according to the website ” …is the perfect product for those who want beach waves without the beach. Our improved formula helps create natural-looking surfer curls in any type of hair. With just a few sprays, you’ll have more volume and texture that lasts the whole day.”

Natural-looking surfer curls in any type of hair without beach waves.

Without getting pounded by an errant Wavestorm rolling though the lineup, having to yell at an errant Barney missing his Wavestorm, missing the section because of a hand slip during take-off and having it haunt the rest of your day, stepping in tar on the beach then grinding into your wax, accidentally grabbing a 4/3 instead of a 3/2 and being way to hot while bobbing so unzipping the shoulder zip but then getting flushed and being really cold etc.

Appropriation, man.

Sucks.