Beckham at Tavi.

Unearthed footage of David Beckham surfing Tavarua re-emerges as well as the shock reason it was buried for twenty years!

“My arms are aching," says Becks' former assistant Rebecca Loos. "It lasts for about 10 minutes, and he starts thrusting really hard and then I grip."

Lately, I’ve been muscling away the sooty clouds of sadness, those memories of loss etc that only come at night or creep into your head in the pre-dawn, with a Netflix series about the larger than life soccer player David Beckham. 

Beckham, who is forty-eight, is like a locomotive and indeed the television feels too small to contain his energy. Disappointing is the lack of energy dedicated by the filmmakers to cover his myriad carnal adventures with glamorous women whose lipstick is slashed across their mouths like iodine. 

Although denied by Beckham’s team, a man would have to be a monk not to risk his balls in the fire for the freaky rogue’s gallery of groupie sexpots that followed the wildly handsome Becks around. 

One, Becks’ former assistant Rebecca Loos, would later jerk a pig off in a reality TV show stunt.

“My arms are aching,” she complains. “It lasts for about 10 minutes, and he starts thrusting really hard and then I grip.”

(Tell me about it, girlfriend!)

Now, it can be revealed that Beckham starred as a surfer alongside fellow soccer superstars Roberto Carlos, Thierry Henry,  Ronaldinho, Raul Gonzales, Fernando Torres and Rafael Van Der Vaart in a long-disappeared Pepsi advertisement, the brand’s ultra-budget marketing campaign for 2005.

The surfing was shot on Tavarua in Fiji and a ten-foot high “water wall” behind a movable platform was built at a private airport near Madrid where the players filmed their parts. 

As good as the ad was, “best sports advertisement of all time”, Pepsi pulled it after a few weeks following the 2004 tsunami that disappeared a quarter-mill souls in Indonesia, Sri Lanka, India and Thailand.

(Editor’s note: regular readers might denote this as one of those “slow news days” stories which indeed it is.)

"No lulls." Photo: Barbie Movie
"No lulls." Photo: Barbie Movie

Fears mount that World Surf League has pushed equality too far after secret embedded meaning discovered in new slogan!

A league of their own.

Toward the end of last week, surf fans became very excited when learning the planned World Surf League slogan for the upcoming 2024 Championship Tour season would be “All action, no lulls.” The phrase, ludicrous when applied to competitive professional surfing, gave hope that even without the ruthlessly fired CEO Erik Logan, the “global home of surfing” would continue to be a big ol’ silly goose.

Alas, might another “agenda” be in play?

For an eagle-eye’d Belgian surf fan reached out after listening to the chat about “all action, no lulls” on the weekly Grit! episode and responded, “I couldn’t help but smile when you (David Lee Scales) and Chas discussed ‘all action, no lulls.’ You mentioned ‘lull’ sounds a bit ugly. Well, here’s a fun tidbit for you: in Flemish, the word ‘lull’ actually means ‘dick.’ So, ‘all action, no dicks’ sounds seriously bizarre.”

Very bizarre unless one considers the World Surf League’s primary aim over the past few years.


Equality in pay, equality in waves, equality in opportunity.

All extremely wonderful but what if this equality is pushed to its logical conclusion, banning all men?

Might this be what is happening, the slogan a rallying dogwhistle?

Oh, I wouldn’t be that angry, frankly, if there were simply two women’s divisions and no men’s on the Championship Tour. The greatest stories, upcoming, are Molly Pinklum, Sierra Kerr, Caity Simmers, Carissa Moore and the unbearable weight of Tyler Wright’s massive talent.

So long, dicks.

Law firm signals intent to sue “surfer website Quiksilver” over alleged violation of California privacy laws

Come make $5000!

The ink is just barely dry on the Authentic Brands Group acquisition of every surf brand that every existed and look, trouble already. Quiksilver, very iconic and important counting Kelly Slater, Tom Carroll and Mikey Wright amongst its former/current stable of stars is being fingered by “privacy protection attorneys” for potentially “violating California privacy laws” in a scintillating post.

“You may be entitled entitled to compensation of up to $5000,” it begins with eye-popping wow before settling in.

“If you’ve visited’s website they may be violating your rights under the California Consumer Privacy Act. You could be entitled to up to $5000 in compensation.”

Those who call Riverside home are instructed to visit the Swigart Law Group.

“Welcome to the Swigart Law Group!” its website reads, “Thank you for trusting us with your legal needs.”

“We are helping customers file individual arbitrations for alleged violations of California’s invasion of privacy laws. We are not filing a class action. We are handling these cases as individual arbitration claims.”

“Please answer the following questions to help us determine if you are eligible to file an individual arbitration against”

A series of questions are asked, sussing out if the Fresno resident qualifies.

I bet you wish you were more supportive of the Mountain and the Wave now that 5000 big ones are on the line, don’t you.

Well, lesson learned.

Dozer Dave (right) with Shane's boy Jackson. Photo: Instagram
Dozer Dave (right) with Shane's boy Jackson. Photo: Instagram

Brother-in-law of surf industry fixture who died on medical retreat Shane Dorian vociferously defends big wave stud

"Dave was an adult and made his own decisions, this is in no way on Shane and it would anger David that anyone thought that was the case."

Yesterday, the surf world lost one of its own. “Dozer” Dave Barnett, podcast host, surf history buff, fixture, died of cardiac arrest in Tijuana, Mexico whilst on a medical retreat with Shane Dorian. The big wave stud, very banged up from years upon years of taking poundings, had traveled south of the border in order to receive stem-cell therapy not available in the United States.

Dorian, ever gracious, shared details of the journey with legion fans very interested in the life-altering properties of the aforementioned stem-cells. Dozer Dave, as it was later revealed, traveled with Shane and was very excited to find relief from his own nagging injuries.

Alas, things went sideways near the end, Dave losing his life, surf fans seeking scapegoat.

Well, Dozer’s brother-in-law came swinging in, defending Dorian from blame in a message to your li’l old BeachGrit, writing:

I am Dozer’s brother-in-law and a physician. David had severe health issues that he doesn’t mention in his video, and his sudden respiratory arrest causing cardiac arrest could have happened at any time. Did the intense week of therapy precipitate this? Possibly, but David knew the risks and despite being counseled by myself and others to wait on this until his health improved through more traditional therapies, he pushed the clinic to treat him. Dave was an adult and made his own decisions, this is in no way on Shane and it would anger David that anyone thought that was the case.

Powerful, no? So eager are we to nanny others that we forget the gorgeous beauty of free will.

Many condolences, in any case, to the Barnett family.


Increasingly furious baseball fans join surf fans in rage against truncated finals formats: “The Dodgers and Braves have been Carissa Moore’d!”

Ire in the autumn air.

It is October in America, that time of year when Laird Superfood Pumpkin Spice fills the air and baseball the soul. Yes, while the World Surf League may claim to be the nation’s pastime, baseball has long occupied that slot. The season, which kicks off in spring, consists of 162 games winding through the dog days of summer and culminating in autumn.

The Fall Classic.

Now, in times past, the top three teams from each of the three division, both National and American Leagues, punched their playoff ticket to the playoffs alongside the National and American League team with the best record that didn’t win its division as wildcards.

The Major League Baseball powers that be, though, wanted to add some spice and expanded the wildcard portion, allowing a few more teams a shot at the Big Dance. These teams play a three game series, then the winner plays the team with the best record in its league.

This tinkering has been compared to the World Surf League’s decision to implement “Finals Day” wherein the top five surfers, male and female, head to Lower Trestles to compete in a winner-take-all showdown.

While the intention was to “increase excitement” in both baseball and surfing, the results have also benefited upstarts that just so happened to “get hot.”

Take Stephanie Gilmore’s worst-to-first 2022 performance in which Carissa Moore, the champion all year, was unseated.

Or, over on the baseball side, the Arizona Diamondbacks sweeping the Los Angeles Dodgers even though the Dodgers were ahead of the D-Backs by sixteen games at season end.

Last year, the Dodgers were undone by the San Diego Padres in similar fashion, leaving Dodger fans furious and wanting the playoff format changed back to the way it was.


Message boards and op-eds are filled with “salty” messages from Dodgers, and Braves, fans decrying the “Carissa Moore-ing” of teams that proved their worth all season only to get “Lower Trestled.”

Surf fans not named Richard Toledo nodding quietly.

Will the grousing lead to changes?

Do you have thoughts on the matter or a horse in the race?

The Texas Rangers take on the Houston Astros tonight for the American League pennant.

All action, no lulls.