"Happy Birthday John John Florence!"
But who on this green earth does not love John John Florence? The one-time child prodigy done good, and two-time World Surf League champion, certainly tops most “favorite surfer” lists and for very good reason. The Hawaii-born Florence has a smooth approach to the scariest waves, a progressive air repertoire and an adventuring spirit.
All very wonderful.
And while he is a very big draw on the aforementioned World Surf League’s Championship Tour, there have been many rumblings of late that the still-youngish man is thinking about leaving it behind. His brother, Nathan, considered by most to be the smartest professional surfer alive, and not on tour, is actively petitioning his elder to leave the grind behind, and the League, itself, is not presenting in the best life, virtually guaranteeing at least three more consecutive Filipe Toledo championships by hosting Finals Day on the cobbled stone of Lower Trestles.
Conventional wisdom has Florence sailing into the sunset after the 2024 Paris Olympics which will be held at Teahupo’o.
The World Surf League, however, knows that Florence is loved and is making serious overtures to win his heart and keep his name on a singlet by wishing him happy birthday on Facebook.
Will it work? Will the just-30-year-old be moved enough to stay?
Looking to the stars, possible not. How Stuff Works declares:
Libras born on October 18 are dynamic, spirited, and energetic. They refuse to sugarcoat their opinions to please others. They are ambitious, even a little aggressive, but they wear it well. October 18 people are not afraid to display their confidence. They are self-starters who believe in taking control of their lives.
“Self-starters who believe in taking control of their lives” has a very ominous ring, as it relates to Florence remaining on tour.
No?
More, certainly, as the story develops.
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Horoscopes for every WSL decision are a good idea
GritStology? Asked my magic 8-ball (not the stuff you buy when you have too much cash) if JJF stays on the 2024 tour? It says: “Try again later…”
Polish apples ? Wtf
Lion heart the brave (FT )will be wishing him off tour
He probably will ditch. He gots the caaash…can jam out the beach door in trunks and free surf…or join his brother in worldwide slabs.
Yeah… Quit. go sailing ..fuck small surf
This ‘Nathan Florence’?
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
JJF is surely tired of all the woke bullshit going on in the Woke Surf League. So is everybody else. With the exeption of the ones recieving EQUITY for their participation…
Yeah, that’s totally it! Every time he paddles out in onshore two-foot dribblers, he thinks, “fuckin’ woke bullshit!!!”
Sure, that’s definitely it. lol
Nathan is the smartest surfer? He ruins a rental car with the wrong fuel in one of his vids, ffs.
Before or after he scores some of the best slabs on Earth?
to be fair pro surfing isn’t stacked with Mensa members.
Remember when Barton used to be “The thinking man’s surfer”? What happened??
You missed the key word here. Smartest professional surfer.
The price of Home schooling on the North Shore..
the faster Johnny gets his caboose out of there the better
Fiji beckons.
#FreeJJF
Liberation
Libra-ation…
such astral-idiocracy pales in comparison to Napoleon Dynamite’s Liger. Wonder how far JJF can throw a football? Does he believe in time machines? Can his wife sew and make key chains? Guess we’ll find out when he drops off the tour
https://paintingvalley.com/…
Hopefully all these kooks will realize that surfing is lame. The real cool people skate! Skate, pickelball, and whatever those fags riding the rape seat bikes on the side of the road are doing.
Fuck you kook!
I REGULATE this pickleball court.
I’m gonna uh, rub my pickle all over your windscreen!
(WTF is pickleball?)
Shit, I can neither self-start nor take control of my life despite also being a Libra
Shoulda been born on the 18th, man.
Sure you can! Just need Bobby Hurley’s cash and Patchy running you life. Easy