Poppers and pills Rodney D, Slater and Murray.

Kelly Slater and Bill Murray talk “poppers and blow” and “fatal curse” of Caddyshack in wild just-unearthed interview!

“I wish I could download my brain,” says Slater.

Ain’t nobody cleaner in sports than Kelly Slater, fifty-one, oldest, youngest-ever world champ, eleven tiaras balanced upon on his satin-skinned head. 

It came as a surprise, therefore, when an old interview that appeared in Montauk-based magazine Whalebone five years ago, Kelly and Bill Murray back and forthing while in a golf-cart together, suddenly started doin’ the rounds again. 


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Yesterday Slater posted,

“What percentage of people have @williammurrarygolf on their list of dream foursomes? I’ve had the pleasure of playing golf and spending time with this legendary greenskeeper a few times.

“Bill never disappoints. Here he is telling me about his first ever surf experience in Bali in 1980 when he quit SNL then ultimately found himself in G-Land with some familiar surf names.”

Better than that.

In their exchanges, Murray takes Slater on a tour of some hitherto unknown ports, including the fatal curse of eighties cult-comedy Caddyshack and the wild life of the long-dead comic Rodney Dangerfield. 

“There were a lot of fun people in (Caddyshack). That was a lot of fun. We lost some people on that,” says Murray.

“What do you mean?” says Slater.

“We lost some people, some good people never were the same after that. It’s so funny when you’re with Rodney… he was wild,” says Murray. 

“Rodney was wild huh?” says Kelly.

“Poppers and blow,” says Murray.

“Jesus Christ,” says Kelly. 

Later, Kelly tells Murray of his wish to examine the contents of his brain. 

Murray: You’ve probably seen, probably just so many amazing things in the ocean.

Slater: Yeah.

Murray: Many of which you were unable to document, right?

Slater: Yeah, I wish I could download my brain.

Murray: You know you could probably do a picture book. You could probably have someone draw it, ya know? You could have someone illustrate it, just from you telling them what it was, ya know?

Slater: Well I’ve read that they’re coming up with this technology that can go in and see your visions or something and take a picture of it and put it into a holograph. Your brain is a holograph, just thoughts in your head, so nothing is the storage of anything solid… it’s just a thought really. Weird.

Murray: Did you read this, that they discovered the largest organ in the body and they didn’t even know it existed?

Slater: No! Really?

Murray Yeah it’s just a interconnected, like a chain that goes through everything, it passes through everything.

Read the whole damn thing here. 

Authorities fear mass vulnerable adult surf drowning as perfect beach weather combines with monster swell in California’s Bay Area

A nasty equation.

Those who call the Golden State home know that autumn is one of the better times of year. Summer crowds gone, warm weather lingering, surf finding its way to many corners. In a word, glorious. But authorities fear this weekend might be too glorious in the Bay Area where a heat wave is combining with a large swell event leading to potential yikes as hordes of VALs, or vulnerable adult learners, snatch Wavestorms and head to the beach.

San Francisco’s ABC affiliate is ominously warning:

People heading to the beach to beat the heat in the Bay Area over the next few days are being warned about dangerous surf conditions that will coincide with rising temperatures.

A Heat Advisory will be in effect for the South Bay and Santa Cruz Mountains, and under sunny skies highs will range from the mid 70s to the mid 90s.

A Beach Hazard Statement is in effect along the coast for increased risk of rip currents and sneaker waves.

Those dastardly sneaker waves.

The scientific formula is simple.


Plus this:

Equals this:

Plus this:

A nasty equation.

Cage and Taj (insert). Photo: Con Air
Cage and Taj (insert). Photo: Con Air

Nicolas Cage bunks with surfing’s perpetual bridesmaid Taj Burrow while in Western Australia filming “The Surfer”

Kelly Slater jealous.

Surf fans far and wide thrilled when, five months ago, the it was reported that Nicolas Cage was set to star in a film with our surfing at its very center. The world was a different place then, more genteel with just one main war burning hot and Jada Pinkett-Smith only emasculating her husband Will privately.

The Hollywood Reporter, back then, reported:

In The Surfer, when a man (Cage) returns to his beachside hometown in Australia, many years since building a life for himself in the U.S., he is humiliated in front of his teenage son by a local gang of surfers who claim strict ownership over the secluded beach of his childhood. Wounded, “The Surfer” decides to remain at the beach, declaring war against those in control of the bay. But as the conflict escalates, the stakes spin wildly out of control, taking “The Surfer” to the edge of his sanity.

Grumpy local revenge porn.

And young grumpy locals thrilled even more, two months ago, when a casting call went out for them in Western Australia, where the picture was set to be made. The Australian Broadcasting Corporation noted, “We are looking for kids who are really confident with a bit of ‘attitude’ … we see them riding their BMXs delivering beer and generally causing trouble around town.”

Well, here we are, Cage is there delighting grumpy locals by purchasing expensive octopus and, drum roll, living in Taj Burrow’s home!

But does anything scream “Western Australia” more than Taj Burrow? Certainly not. The 45-year-old, who famously qualified for the Association of Surfing Professionals Championship Tour at 18 but turned it down so he could hone his skill, was a mainstay at the very top of the rankings for his decade plus in the big show. He won rookie of the year in 1998 and multiple stops including J-Bay, the Pipeline, the crown jewel Lower Trestles though never the World Title.

Surfing’s perpetual bridesmaid.

Unlike Kelly Slater, Burrow retired appropriately and now has the sweet joy of bunking with Nicolas Cage.

Yallingup’s first son always doing it right.


Do you think the two, Cage and Burrow, will get up to any housemate high jinx, though?

What would you recommend?

Kemper flings savage vibes at Hawaiian Airlines,.

Big-wave world champ Billy Kemper rebukes Hawaiian airlines in savage online takedown!

“Surfing was born in Hawaii. Wouldn’t you think Hawaiian Airlines would have some sort of support to our sport?

The Big Wave World Tour champion and four-time Jaws winner Billy Kemper has taken to Instagram to chastise Hawaiian airlines for refusing to carry his two surfboards, unlocking a Pandora’s Box of complaints from a who’s who of world surfing.

Kemper, who is thirty-three, cocks his face impassively, eyes burning with the ultra-alertness of a Haitian priest speaking through a freshly severed human head, as he delivers his coup de grâce.

“Surfing was born in Hawaii, it’s part of the HAWAIIAN culture. Wouldn’t you think @hawaiianairlines would have some sort of support to our sport? THIS HAS TO CHANGE!”

Listen below.


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The pile-on is impressive in its expanse.

“Ive had this same experience with @hawaiianairlines they told me leave my boards because i was 1lb over, not even a extra charge policy just said leave it we dont care,” writes Nathan Florence.

Mark Healey: “That’s why they’re called Hawaiian and not Aloha. Been dealing with that shit from them my entire adult life.”

Eli Olson: “When I won the Hawaii / Tahiti regional title and was trying to fly to California for the US Open to represent Hawai’i @hawaiianairlines never let me bring two of my boards that I needed. They told me leave the boards at the airport it’s not their problem.”

Torrey Meister: “Definitely time to bring awareness to this…..AGAIN! @hawaiianairlines absolute worst airlines for surfers and Ive flown on a lot of them. The most horrible board bag fees and senseless baggage policy stories I have had flying are definitely with you @hawaiianairlines

“So many vivid memories from when I was a little kid trying to put my 4’11 surfboards on a Hawaiian airlines to go do events around the state of Hawaii and getting reamed with board charges, as you let 75pound golf bags go right by for free.

“To this day you are still doing the same thing! I started flying aloha airline back then and now I fly @southwestair as much as I can. Great staff, cheap flights, honest with their board fees, and if your board bag is under 50pounds they go on for free! Over 25years of flying around Hawaii and I can say you have never supported us surfers once! That’s why I stopped supporting you and tell everyone I know to do the same till we see some change. You know what they say about greed….”

Koby Abberton, with vomit emojis, “That’s why they charge so much they know all the islands are surfers. It’s robbery.”


Shane Dorian, “SW is the shit! I love them. It’s ‘illegal’ to fly with 100 pound board bag, but they will allow you on the plane if you weigh 500 pounds. What’s that about? HA has some sketchy policies.”

You ever get heat for carrying boards?

I’ve shifted to the borrow a board when you get there model (thanks Paul Evans for recent Hossegor play date) although I imagine pro surfers and pro big-wave surfers have more sophisticated needs.

Interesting side note: Wearstler used her cash from the Playboy shoot to set up her design biz. | Photo: The Ingalls/Synchronicity

Playboy pinup turned celebrity decorator Kelly Wearstler reimagines 1953 Malibu Beach Shack, untouched for thirty years, for family of “avid surfers”

"It was an architectural gem – a hidden surf shack."

If you’re into quasi-kitsch mid-century interiors as fashioned by glamorous Amazonian women with a history of posing nude, you’ll know and adore the work of LA-via-Myrtle Beach’s Kelly Wearstler (pronounced Worst-ler).

Ms Wearstler, who is fifty-six in a few weeks, flew onto my radar in 1999 when she fitted out the relaunched Avalon Hotel in a sea of pretty greens and blues and banquette seating and mid-century pendants, transforming what was once a shadow haunted vestibule filled with the eyes-stinging smog of disinfectant.

The New York Times was similarly enchanted writing, “Her playful, elegantly over-the-top designs for the Avalon Beverly Hills changed the look of boutique hotels around the world.”

I gave my pretty white dick some Christmas sport in those rooms shortly after its doors were reopened. Glory days etc.

Now, and as celebrated in her latest book Synchronicity, the former Playboy playmate (“You can ask any of my friends. I have no problem with my sexuality. I’m completely uninhibited. Everybody has a body, and I want to show mine. God blessed me,” she says) has given an old surf shack on the Malibu beachfront her magical touch.

The joint had been on the market for years when Wearstler rented it so she and her fam could tough out the pandemic months. A pal had stayed at another place three doors and she was thrilled by how it hadn’t been gussied up by zeitgeist-y renovations.

So she tracked down the owner, asked if she could rent it and he said, hell yeah, long as I can show the place to potential buyers.

Smart guy.

Wearstler made the place look a million bucks and within a few months had a buyer – a Silicon Valley surfer who has since kept the place relatively original.

Photography by The Ingalls.

“You could have built a house three times the size of this one, which is what everybody unfortunately does on Broad Beach. But he’s not tearing the house down, just fixing up the original bathrooms and doing a little more landscaping. That was amazing to hear,” Wearstler told Wallpaper.

“It was about bringing together old spirit and new spirit to create unique experiences that make every room memorable.”

Check out Wearstler’s book here, nude pics can be bought here.