“I wish I could download my brain,” says Slater.
Ain’t nobody cleaner in sports than Kelly Slater, fifty-one, oldest, youngest-ever world champ, eleven tiaras balanced upon on his satin-skinned head.
It came as a surprise, therefore, when an old interview that appeared in Montauk-based magazine Whalebone five years ago, Kelly and Bill Murray back and forthing while in a golf-cart together, suddenly started doin’ the rounds again.
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Yesterday Slater posted,

“What percentage of people have @williammurrarygolf on their list of dream foursomes? I’ve had the pleasure of playing golf and spending time with this legendary greenskeeper a few times.
“Bill never disappoints. Here he is telling me about his first ever surf experience in Bali in 1980 when he quit SNL then ultimately found himself in G-Land with some familiar surf names.”
Better than that.
In their exchanges, Murray takes Slater on a tour of some hitherto unknown ports, including the fatal curse of eighties cult-comedy Caddyshack and the wild life of the long-dead comic Rodney Dangerfield.
“There were a lot of fun people in (Caddyshack). That was a lot of fun. We lost some people on that,” says Murray.
“What do you mean?” says Slater.
“We lost some people, some good people never were the same after that. It’s so funny when you’re with Rodney… he was wild,” says Murray.
“Rodney was wild huh?” says Kelly.
“Poppers and blow,” says Murray.
“Jesus Christ,” says Kelly.
Later, Kelly tells Murray of his wish to examine the contents of his brain.
Murray: You’ve probably seen, probably just so many amazing things in the ocean.
Slater: Yeah.
Murray: Many of which you were unable to document, right?
Slater: Yeah, I wish I could download my brain.
Murray: You know you could probably do a picture book. You could probably have someone draw it, ya know? You could have someone illustrate it, just from you telling them what it was, ya know?
Slater: Well I’ve read that they’re coming up with this technology that can go in and see your visions or something and take a picture of it and put it into a holograph. Your brain is a holograph, just thoughts in your head, so nothing is the storage of anything solid… it’s just a thought really. Weird.
Murray: Did you read this, that they discovered the largest organ in the body and they didn’t even know it existed?
Slater: No! Really?
Murray Yeah it’s just a interconnected, like a chain that goes through everything, it passes through everything.
Read the whole damn thing here.
Dumb and dumber
I was thinking that, but figured neither of them could be THAT thick. Maybe Bill was winding him up.
Bill Morey Boogie would be a mashup worth your time
Rush can still roll my bones. back to echoes. BG on high alert! Clear the beach and runway we have a feature nude tomorrow that’s not JenLo~ Golf or tennis or fishing? Poppers, we’re gonna blow up the whale~
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I thought that Kelly would have known this, what with him knowing more than 113 percent of doctors or whatever.
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Outerunknown
So celebrities in cars talking in front of a camera is a 5 years ago thing.
I guess we could do celebrities in an office back to back sitting at desks staring at computer screens. Getting sidetracked from the conversation by what they are seeing on their respective computer screens.
Ooohhh, I know.
How about we get 2 relative non-knowns to ramble on about fuckall for an hour or so doing a podcast!
One could be an ex-love sleuth and the other a bearded cross dresser – that’d work….. oh wait – nah, it’d be a fail. What a dumb idea.
Yeh that’d be so dumb…
Wait tho… It could work as long as they never make eye contact.
That’d be way too intense.
would you listen to it later, after wanking to it first?
Xox
What if one was an aging, lanky surf journalist and the other someone you’ve never heard of, nor are particarly interested in? Neither are funny or engaging. Surely someone must try that?
For a while I thought he was chatting to David Lee Roth and then I realised he was just some guy. I can go down the point car park if I want to hear two guys talking shit about surfing.
comedians in cars with coffee/
Or a tough dude exploring his sensitive side via drug abuse?
Xox