"Friends, surf fans, countrymen, lend me your eyeballs..."
The 2023 World Surf League Championship Tour is long in the rearview, now. Only the faintest memories of Caroline Marks and Filipe Toledo being chaired up the Lower Trestles’ cobbled stone remain. The sound of Chris Cote’s voice announcing various top five surfers’ names like a dissipating cloud. Was Ethan Ewing’s back broken or something? Was he even there at all?
Yes, it is all a blur save the wildly impressive ratings’ spike Finals Day saw.
Chief of Sport Jessi Miley-Dyer was quick to the tools after that last bell of the season, sharing there had been a near 30% increase in live digital views for the aforementioned hoedown.
Impressive by any measure and, no doubt, the World Surf League brain trust was tasked with capturing that momentum and making it real.
Alas, trouble. Inn a seemingly surefire way to capture and convert, the League sat its men’s champ, Filipe Toledo, in front of “the voice of surfing” Joe Turpel for an exclusive one-on-one interview and released, for free, on YouTube.
Boom town?
Not exactly as the nine-minute interview has failed to surpass 5k views in three days and counting.
Toledo, wearing a t-shirt that reads “Peace Power: The World Surf Champ” looks comfortable receiving softballs from Turpel, who is wearing missionary button-down from 1982.
The King of Saquarema even cries at the end, which made me sad for all the heckling and prodding you have done about his brave cowardice at Teahupoo. It was really over the top. Too much. Can we, then, do the world’s best small wave surfer and “champion of a human being,” as Turpel calls him, a favor and kick this video over 5k?
I think it will make you feel good inside.
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Did he complain about the judges again?
What a pea hearted joke of a champ
love my world surfball league!
A little less of Joe Turpel is better for everyone.
#partypete that ish…obrithankyou
Corny T shirt for sure but he’s a sweet guy and good for him, his god, his people etc etc. Sad for them all though that he doesn’t have the self belief or courage needed to charge heavy waves.
ha….Dan Rather Turpel conducting “60 minutes.”
They have trouble with expanding upon colonialism.
If youre born here you are not an immigrant
David Frost
Michael Parkinson
Lewis Theroux
Zach Galifianakis
Dave Letterman
Joe Turpel
Must also add, I have not and will not be watching but reserve the right to be an absolute judgy cunt. It’s my god damn right! Fuck you. NO, fuck YOU!
“between two (to five) nerds…”
Did he say he was a chicken? Otherwise not much else anybody wants to know about pip it woild seem *world champion
No, massive and dismissive level of arrogance actually. Not a scrap of humility to be found anywhere in the whole interview. Complete cunt.
Toledo is the most boring person in the surfing world
A one day boring-off between him and Ewing would be equally tight
At least Ewing has a spine ( broken at that )
My video of lighting farts has 4.9k views more importantly, let’s get across the line brethren.
Xox
https://youtu.be/WErNaKG1XK…
That’s some very light denim there, Dogsnuts. Were you ever in Wham!?
No! But I wish I’ve been in George Michael ☺️
Xox
Very good
Wouldn’t it be!
Xox
But I’ve already watched it 5000 times! Do I have to do everything around here?
I’m not watching it,,,
The downtrend began with the Ronnie G incident at HB and is likely to NEVER recover unless the statue of Ronnie G is erected by the pier.
Undeniable Facts. We need to get this statue up or the WSL will be forever cursed. Pull our bandannas way down low and pour some out for an OG.
RG.
RIP
INRI
Maybe BG can sponsor the long overdue Ronnie G wake? But what color bandana and/or do rag shale we wear?
Green bandannas. Clearly, Mal Verde, the patron saint of drug dealers and criminals to the Hispanic community has been offended and is punishing the WSL with this curse. Liberal sacrifice of green Dos Exxis bottles and multiple kilos of good quality green, pressed brick mota should satisfy our angered Saint. This, and the dedication of Saint Ronnie G’s memorial statue at his place of final rest should do the trick.
So not unlike Jesus MalVerde was also a carpenter. I can get behind this!
Si señor.
Joe: “So Felipe, how are you going to train for the Ollies at Choop’s?”
Felipe: “Joe…I’ll be watching alot of film…you know, Riding Giants, Blame It On Rio, Breath, Endless Summer. Gonna have to cut this interview short, Joe. Trestles is firing! But am thinking of pulling off a ‘marathon surf’ out there. You know, to raise money. See ya.”
At least New Zealand finally showed they have a brain. You now have a Conservative in charge, you can act normal.
Hah ! MMP politics in this banana republic will ensure it’s a fuck up.
Garans.
Doesn’t matter who wins here, matey – we all end up losing.
Immigrants decide elections down here now ,so this is encouraging
I usually stay away from politics,I leave that to certain seppo regulars here,… but god damned it’s good the No Vote got up in Oz
Oooof. There are Roblox streamer reaction videos that get 5K hits within minutes. Get Paul Fisher back in there and throw in a Sterling Spencer or two. Limp dick stuff here
I have a policy of only watching Turpel on mute.