"Everybody talks about people being the GOAT. Tom Brady’s the GOAT, Tiger Woods is the GOAT. They’re…GOATS… but they’re not The GOAT."
The still beautiful eighties heartthrob Rob Lowe has ended the age-old debate roiling the sports world in a bombshell podcast just released.
On “Literally! With Rob Lowe”, the fifty-nine-year-old actor famous for being part of the eighties Brat Pack in movies The Outsiders, St. Elmo’s Fire and About Last Night, and for starring in a sex tape in a Georgia hotel room at his 1988 peak with a couple of fans, one of whom was sweet sixteen, intros Slater with,
“I’m geeking out, man. Everybody talks about people being the GOAT. Tom Brady’s the GOAT, Tiger Woods is the GOAT. They’re…GOATS… they’re…GOOOOOOATS…but they’re not The GOAT. Today, we have The GOAT Kelly Slater. The greatest surfer who ever lived. Eleven-time world champ. Youngest world champ and then oldest world champ. No one has dominated a sport, any sport, individually, ever, in history than Kelly Slater and surfing.”
I’m on the side of Lowe, in this instance, although you’ll remember in February last year when JP Currie wrote fifteen-hundred words on why Slater ain’t the best athlete ever.
Sport is just sport, at the end of the day. But as we know, in the most elevated and spectacular moments – the realms where GOATs play – it can be an awful lot more.
When we talk about those who are worthy of being called the GOAT, we should be talking about people whose sporting performances have transcended sport. We should be talking about figures who are globally recognised and historically remembered, people who are idolised by children and worthy of that status.
What has Kelly done for the world? What has surfing?
How do you compare his impact to Muhammed Ali, for example?
You could argue we should ignore everything Kelly has done and said outside of surfing, but I don’t think we should.
At the highest level of sport, the kind of level reserved for people dubbed GOATs, sport influences culture, brings people hope, and instigates change.
Where do you stand, reader?
Listen here!
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wonder if surfing would be less crowded if there was no slater
Ridiculous to believe that the moniker of GOAT in any sport should encompass philanthropic endeavors or how much they’ve donated to the community! Nothing whatsoever to do with GOAT in a sports context.
Jeremy McGrath, nothing else said
The greatest *athlete* in the world is the current decathlon world record holder.
Wayne Gretzky has done more for hockey than ANY athlete in ANY sport. The next closest player (Gordie Howe) is an entire career away. He held 61 NHL records at the end of his career and still holds or shares 58 to this day. THE ENTIRE LEAGUE retired #99 in his honor. Unheard of in any sport. And that’s from the NHL, where the pool of talent is FAR greater than it is for surfing.
Gretzky is THE GOAT.
What does something he did almost 40 years ago have to do with anything he said in the podcast?
BS Valentino rossi motogp kimi Raikkonen rally f1 nascar mark marquez. motogp lewis hamilton F1 wayne gretzky NHL and YES tom brady NFL
Goat in any sport?
Sir Donald Bradman.
Kelly’s not even close.
I’m struggling with the visual. DR is this true and can we get a live feed, maybe with Sasha making a cameo?
Google Walter Lindrum.
Minnesota Fats of WA…(he even looks like Jackie Gleason). nice post!
What about Linda Lovelace some 40 years later still regarded as the Goat.
Always dumping on Kelly. You guys are getting old…need a new schtick.
What are you his white night? Flag waving moron.
Robbie Naish
24 world titles
Tony Hawkish…
Rob Schneider show: he did a stand-up bit about Steve Hawking where he demands a break=up with his wife…talking about the universe, then suddenly saying: “Bitch, just open the f-ing door and push me out. I’m done.” GOAT quote.
Doesn’t Dunkerbeck have 40 something?
42
If only Rob was aware of the current and only GOAT that matters- Mikaela Shiffrin! Slater is a has been just like Lowe.
Now if only Derek would put his journo skills to good use and get the then 16 yr old, from Lowe’s video, to comment on this article
Ya can’t be all round goat when the talent pool is so shallow. Kelly’s definitely better than the other 1000 competitive surfers.
Just making it on to a major team in a major sport is way more competitive than surfing will ever be. Not saying it’s not very difficult. My kids local soccer league has 5000 kids in it!
Love what you did there… shallow pool. Genius!
It’s nice to have my genius acknowledged Gil
Ask Chas’ shoulder about Kelly’s shallow pool.
& his nostalgiapost with a late run of new commenters that want to argue about it. geez…
And jobs chicks sistas teef
But theres a thousand pro leagues to play in
So Messi, ronaldo are miracle type talent
They alla gota thata magic
Capeesh?
Kelly who……?
A lowe blow
Simple anecdotal evidence shows there are more bad tattoos of Messi’s face on random body parts than Kelly’s… Ergo we already know who’s the goat.
You sure that’s your final analysis?
Sam is the GOAT of Negatrolling
If he didn’t write cry-time emails about me to head office you might have a case.
I have feelings too
and one day
I will find them and be very upset with you.
They dont read DHMFs emails,let alone Sams
What happened to the guy writing about the learn to surf programs he took during covid. Got to two and just stopped.
It never happened
WAIT, WHAT, there is a head office? I want the contact info so I can complain about the lack of a “I have tranny friends” badge.
Should publish them
Wah wah wah. There you go.
Rocky Marciano quit undefeated. 49 wins, 43 by knockout.
Rocky Marciano! Rocky Marciano! Lemme tell you something once and for all.
Rocky Marciano was good, but compared to Joe Louis, Rocky Marciano ain’t shit!
Oh, there they go! There they go! Every time I start talking about boxing, a white man gotta pull Rocky Marciano outta their ass!