Reign of Terror.
The curse, it appears, has been lifted. As a surf fan, you’ve watched through half-shuttered eyelids as the World Surf League’s 2023 Championship Tour traipsed from Pipeline to Sunset, Portugal to Bells. The wave quality at each stop, objectively hideous. The just-wrapped Rip Curl Pro was so bad as to leave even the most scientifically rational amongst us believing in hexes etc.
Well, that newly-believed-in dark hand appears to have a sense of humor for outlook of the days away Margaret River Pro is wild and wooly.
Big.
I cannot find Surfline’s official forecast anywhere, even after much searching, leading me to believe that some very naughty business happened on the World Surf League’s end of that marriage. Cheating, likely, but maybe worse. Here, for you, though is a report from Farm Online Weather.
After a mostly average and somewhat lacklustre start of the surf season for the world tour, a promising forecast is on the cards for the starting period of this year’s Margaret River Pro. The contests waiting period starts off on Thursday this week, when some generally clean 3-5-foot surf can be expected with possibly an initial round or two of contestable conditions.
A more promising outlook comes with a significant frontal feature to the south of South Africa will track east this week, maintaining a broad and persistent area of west-to-southwest winds directed towards the southwest of Australia. This will generate a large swell that should reach 4 to 5 metres, and should start to build on Saturday, peaking on Monday. Solid surf reaching the 6-foot mark is expected over the weekend and early next week, along with generally weak enough winds to make for an exciting and very contestable set of days.
And there we have it. As you know, the Margaret River Pro will feature the second annual Procession of Guillotines wherein underperforming surfers have their heads removed and blood soaked singlets sent to the underworld (Challenger Series). This year finds notable names Kolohe Andino, Kelly Slater, Ultimate Surfer Ezekiel Lau and Miguel Pupo ready to taste cold steel. Nat Young, Jackson Baker and Liam O’Brien hover just over the cut line but in real danger.
Which of them will be most helped by a girthy sea?
A quick check of the draw reveals that Nat Young will be surfing his first heat against Filipe Toledo. Relief must be flooding his heart as the li’l lion will certainly be floating a mile out the back thinking nervous thoughts. Experiencing a different reign of terror.
America for the win, I suppose.
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It’s not as if he’s posing with the lopped off heads of his victims off a 25 year surfing killing spree…or is he ?
Knowing he’ll never compete at that level again, it’s a totally normal human response to want to go back and relive those warm and fuzzy moments.
I just rode in that car and it goes for $80k. Sweet ass ride
How Jackson Baker is above the cut line is beyond me. Looks like he belongs in the Boardriders League. No HamSammish!!!!
Its like real golf for the Pro’s. Disk golf for the rest of us.
Considering Sally got a wildcard for the second half of the tour…
Dishwater blond..who here didn’t know it was Derek writing this after 2 words?
Whatever happens at Maggie’s, and guillotining does look likely, Slater will be getting a wild card for his home break. The first of many without a doubt.
there’s a witch at work…https://youtu.be/8L1UngfqojI
Ok,negative Kevin’s.
Say good bye to professional surfing,ha ha ha!…. the sport has been going down hill since the popular surfers leaving.
Robbo pulls out.
Deja vu
Big Trev just pulled his boy out of the comp, would be a travesty if the box is firing and no robbo to show the rest of them up.
shit just checked the updated forecast , looks great….offshore and big for the start of the comp!
decapitation on the surgeons table , at least poetic justice will be served cold on MR’s favourite piece of reef!
“Malingering” is one of my favorite words, thanks Chuck.
Tip for pros re Margaret River mainbreak
Like Hawaii a bigger board works very well at big windy wonky margs ,you will be bouncing around on your toothpick 6’0
You have been warned so no excuse for decapitation if you don’t bring the right gear
Watched parko ripping it on an 8 ft “step up” years ago , he has done the time here and brought the right board
None of them will though and they will all feign surprise ( or the wsl will just wait for the small day windows
life insurance industry? sales?
Only because everyone who makes the cut has a guaranteed spot next year. Cull 8 more — maybe 2 lowest ranked after each of contests 7 through 10. Motivating for surfers and much more reason to watch.
Kelly is going to get pushed through to 9th or even 5th by the judges so that he doesnt get unceremoniously chopped.
You can’t script this!
you can script this you mean!!!
Michael Rodriguez! Triple Overhead!?
in the Southwest of Acaistralia?
Its been a while since you have out done yourself.. ..”Margaret River Pro will feature the second annual Procession of Guillotines wherein underperforming surfers have their heads removed and blood soaked singlets sent to the underworld (Challenger Series). “