Oh to have it all.
Oh to be rich, powerful, handsome, fit, adept, popular, healthy, connected, happy, loved, friends with Kelly Slater. In a word, or two, to be Chris Hemsworth. The Australian hunk seemingly has it all, the world on a string, and in the latest bit of unadulterated good fortune we see the star taking his talents to Abu Dhabi.
The United Arab Emirates second fiddle, as you certainly know, is home to Kelly Slater’s exciting, and ultra-exclusive, new surf tank. Clips have been dribbling out from the desert for a few weeks, now, but none outshines Hemsworth’s where perfection and fatherly pride collide.
Watching my kids progress through the day until they were backhand tube riding better than the adults was all time,” the 40-year-old penned under his video presentation, thanking the aforementioned Kelly Slater and former CT surfer Mitch Crews along with the Abu Dhabi emirate. Leaving out the precious Pakistani slaves who received their portion of gratitude by getting to ride in a jail bus to and from the site during their fifteen hour shifts.
Hemsworth’s children, a daughter aged 11 and twin sons aged 9, certainly live a blessed life and do appear to be ripping, becoming barreled etc. whilst facing out as opposed to in.
Very cool and everyone was very impressed save Ann Wander who declared, “Go to La Union Philippines we have natural waves good for surfing.
Ok.
Now, what do you think the more you see of Slater’s Abu Dhabi Surf Ranch? Would you trade your local for a poolside condominium plus one one hour session a week?
Be honest.
Thankfully, Chris Hemsworth will never have to choose. He’s rich. He can do both plus a New York pied-à-terre.
Suck it, Ann Wander.
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Surfing wave pools is similar to smoking cigarettes when it comes to your future health. But worse because the environmental damage caused by pools affects the whole planet.
Last time we saw a surfer on this gear was Adriano have a mouth rage in the water at Lowers with Kelly. Thor and ADS love Mexican vitamins. Brazzo’s and the pulsing forehead veins like that was remarkable given hes 4’8” and not allowed to be that angry, or jacked. Before that the only one other Brazilian seen to have this phenomenon happen was TRT Vitor Belfort who fist fucked every humans face he could while under the TUE*. Is it true the UFC, I mean ASP cum WSL has/had one too?
*Therapeutic Usage Exception
Got 6 1/2 hrs in water last 2 days – the one downfall was an annoying as fuck petrol standup jetboard buzzing the lineup
The prick was taking off on sets 500m away and doing loops
He eventually ran out of petrol but could ride it to his credit
I shouted at that cunt (if it’s the same guy) a few years ago. He buggered off.
up coast 50 from here!!
PlumBer for reasoN.
Ann was majestically speaking of La Union or speaking of
majestics..
But his son is a whiny spoilt little brat.
Oh well, can’t have it all.
Guessing the adults present must have been val kooks if that clip counts as the kids “tuberiding”
wish my daddy was a zillionaire….
While I didn’t have a choice in the matter, I’m glad, in retrospect that I was not born into a rich family. The disconnection from reality makes for generally very poor ethical choices.
At least the Australian hunk actor can actually surf. Better than our US hunk actor, Jonah Hill, who can barely standup. In order to defend the honor of our great nation, he should try to get a new surf coach, maybe a dude this time, based on how things went with his female surf coach.
BTW, Chas it’s been a bit since we heard about Jonah and his surf coach/crazy girlfriend. Might be time for a nice 25 part series chronicling where they are now.
That’s hands down the best wave pool in the World. ❤️✊🏼🔥
A sphincter says what?
“You know you want to” ?
eva longoria~then greta!
who gives AF.
you’ll never surf it, nor will I and it’ll be boring as batshit for a CT venue.
I swear the only reason i’m still kicking tyres here at BG is the hope that one day it’ll lead to a ball tickling session in a tank somewhere.
In other news…..Nubreak surfers don’t give a fuck about tubs…
Those kids surf the pool ok, don’t ya think Charles?
You know how it ends when you masturbate on the Beach.
I’m sorry, I totally forgot I’m not allowed to comment anymore without your prior approval to the content. My bad. Good luck with your bizarre defending of Charles and his ridiculous posts.
Hint. Don’t look at the Sun it’ll blind you and you don’t have to read ridiculous.
I just did
day time or night time?
Anytime the turd herder doesn’t like what you say.
I do think. Why are you asking though? Sorta weird, if I’m to be frank.
https://m.youtube.com/watch…
I’m glad I cant and never will afford it that way I can always keep my head up high. On another note how the hell did Crews help the situation. I am sure Kelly has changed his number multiple times since he has been a pro.
Foot to ground ? Mon Francais est tres mauve, mais c’est absurde !
Xox
His wife had the software put on her phone while being interrogated in the U.A.E. She said they work together with Saudi Arabia.
I used to work in Qatar.
The stories about the workers are true.
Pakis and Nepalis (plus quite a few findians) do all the shit labouring jobs. Filipinas do all the shit retail and hospitality jobs.
If you died on the job your family got a “death bonus” sent home and it was not uncommon to hear how some poor schmuck would deliberately walk into oncoming traffic to “cash in their chips”. Totally fucked.
One time I was walking to the office in Doha and some subcontinental guy comes up with his hand out doing the begging thing. I don’t normally give to beggars so tried to brush him off, but he lifts up his shirt to show this massive one foot square blood soaked surgical dressing on his chest. He then peels the dressing back to show this massive open wound with staple marks where someone had tried to stick him together. I said “fuck mate, get to the hospital!” but he said because he couldn’t work he wasn’t getting paid and they’d taken his passport off him.
Handed him a bunch of cash and told him to get to hospital. I have no doubt that the poor bastard was probably dead within a week.
Once you have been to the Middle East for about a week you develop a deep cynicism for the assholes who live there. Gulf Arabs are the worst.
Yeah I prefer the Western version of People being Slaves to banks with their Children homeless fentanyl Zombies.
but it’s a far more elegant brand of casual oppression and callous inequity.
With the bonus option of choosing to be wealthy if you work for it!
it’s primarily to be as close as possible to the surfer if said surfer bonks their head and doesn’t resurface. but the secondary purpose is for the driver to laugh at how bad most tub guests are at surfing
Just watched the Frontline documentary on how the U.A.E used Pegasus software to kill Jamal Khashoggi.
Anyone that surfs there should be ashamed of themselves.
Wait a minute, even PBS has its own damn wave pool now? I’d surf the hell out of a PBS wave pool, regardless of how you might feel about the quality of its documentaries.
Who the hell is Ann Wander?
The new AI writer for Surfer Mag. She lives in a small cottage nestled into the lush landscape of Carmel by the Sea. She enjoys meditating, mountain biking, and quiet hikes with her Irish Setter.
My new AI girlfriend😻😻😻!
Pair of grom surfboards: $1,500
Day at the Kelly Tub: $50,000
Chandeliering your own son: Priceless
Net worth Chris Hemsworth: 130,000,000
Net worth Paul Fisher: 4,000,000
Just sayin’