Perfect for the boy without a spine.
It is a common misconception, amongst the general non-surfing public, that surfers like to travel places with “big waves.” It is true that some do, but many prefer medium-sized waves and a good number, mainly longboarders, willingly look for small waves. Rollers that allow fancy dancing etc.
Some might even prefer no waves at all, not even a ripple. Maybe they are nursing an injury, for example, and can’t surf so would rather not be tormented. Maybe they recently had a very bad experience in the lineup, something they would like to forever forget and need a few days, or weeks, of lake placid.
Enter two-time**, and reigning, world champion Filipe Toledo. Days ago, the entire surf universe witnessed the Brazilian put on a performance at the famed Banzai Pipeline so witheringly gutless that it can only be described as “cheap, funny, character-revealing.”
Even though the waves were very fine, on the bigger and unruly side, Toledo bobbed, pretended to paddle, and ran to the safety of the sand as soon as he could. Afterward, he cited “food poisoning” and pulled out of the rest of the event so as not to be forced to float again and be shamed.
Now, the next even on the World Surf League’s Championship Tour is the Sunset Beach Pro, which opens its window in ten-ish days. There is no way Toledo will want to stay on Oahu’s North Shore, feeling the pound of big, deflecting withering stares at Foodland, and so he will likely depart the island. But where? Ten-ish days is not a long time.
Enter Maui.
The Valley Isle, just a short hopper flight from Honolulu, boasts many wonders including winding roads, whale watching and white people. As of days ago, it can also brag the beach that “has the calmest waters in the world.
According to Travel + Leisure:
To find out which beaches offer the calmest waters, the team analyzed millions of publicly available reviews on Tripadvisor, assessing 500 beaches in America and the top 100 beaches in every country around the globe. After identifying the beaches, the team calculated which spots had the highest proportion of reviews that included the phrase “calm water/s.” (The team notes it only assessed English-language reviews and sense-checked all reviews to ensure the phrase “calm water/s” was used correctly.)
After crunching the numbers, the researchers found that Baby Beach in Maui, Hawaii, holds the title for having the calmest water of any beach in the world, with more than 27 percent of reviews mentioning the phrase.
Baby Beach.
Perfect for the boy without a spine.
Keep a look out, Maui residents.
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Highly unnecessary to call the lad a boy without a spine. No need to drag him so hard because of how the WSL sets up its tour to end at his home break.
First D.J.: Okay, campers, rise and shine, and don’t forget your booties ’cause it’s cooooold out there today.
Second D.J.: It’s coooold out there every day. What is this, Miami Beach?
First D.J.: Not hardly. And you know, you can expect hazardous surf later today with that, you know, that, uh, that Felipe thing.
Second D.J.: [mockingly] That Felipe – thing. That Felipe – thing. Oh, well, here’s the report! The National Weather Service is calling for a “big Felipe thing!”
First D.J.: Yessss, they are. But you know, there’s another reason why today is especially exciting.
Second D.J.: Especially cold!
First D.J.: Especially cold, okay, but the big question on everybody’s lips…
Second D.J.: – On their chapped lips…
First D.J.: – On their chapped lips, right: Do ya think Fil is gonna come out and see his shadow?
Second D.J.: Punxsutawney Fil!
First D.J.: Thats right, woodchuck-chuckers – it’s
[in unison]
First D.J.: GROUNDHOG DAY!
Second D.J.: GROUNDHOG DAY
https://uploads.disquscdn.c… i thinks he’s staying up here. ( couldn’t help myself)
Who would have thought pull-back Pip would cause me to log back into disqus after a few years hiatus. Is Wiggs still lurking around these parts?
World Participation Trophy Champion!!!
I’m walking past this one…
(Whistling)
As per Daily Telegraph:
FAMILY and COMMUNITY OUTRAGE as Bexy, Mayor of Dee Why, renames ‘Kiddies Corner’ to ‘Pippy’s Corner’
Now the swan is gone anything could happen.
All the worthy and warranted jokes about Fil’s fear factor aside, the WSL could make a small rules tweak that would (perhaps) make most people happy.
They could assign double points for Pipe and Chopes and designate those two contests as non-throwaway comps, meaning you gotta include results from those two comps in your final points tally. That would restore some lost prestige to those two events, especially Pipe, and would prevent scaredy-cats like Fil from gaming the system, as he’s doing now.
Thanks for not stating
The gender of the baby
I feel so safe here
That’s cause this place can’t afford the baby, let alone the window to throw the bathwater out of.
Yawn, more macho stereotyping. The only rule to surfing waves of any kind is if you don’t feel it, don’t do it. In a year with multiple serious injuries at Pipe, maybe it’s not such a great idea to have blokes thinking paddling out is a measure of their masculinity.
That is his job though. And he is the world champ. They only surf 10 events a year minus finals and three of those waves being pipe, cloudbreak, and chopes are waves of consequence that he should have to excel in or at least try to. That is surfing. Big, small, good, bad, windy. Need to excel in all conditions if you want to be considered a world champ.
I agree. Criticism is fair, but not when it calls a man a boy and opens and closes by asserting that he has no spine. Big wave surfing has a high profile now and it attracts a lot of people to have a go. In the circumstances the last thing that is needed is to encourage people lacking in confidence to be out there for fear of feeling inadequate. Slater standing down at Waimea was important for exactly that reason. Not that something as relatively complex as that would occur to the cretins who run this place. And yeh I’m a cranky old bastard with an intolerance for intolerance and ignorance.
Plus, they have the best water patrol on the planet ready to save you.
Did the best happen in surfing when there wasn’t water patrol?
No.
Besides Shane Dorian’s first paddle wave at Jaws, why not?
silver mut’s?
But it is, always has been, always will be. The hunter who tames the biggest beast gets the most respect.
Huge news folks. Billionaire Peter Thiel is funding a competitor to the Olympic Games that encourages the athletes to use performance enhancing drugs. This could be just the ticket for Filipe to send it over the ledge! The Vikings were said to consume fly agaric mushrooms prior to battle to make them feel no fear and induce a sort of rage. Could this be the answer for our lion hearted coward? More as the story develops?
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Man this is so simple. So good
911 Operator: “911. What’s your emergency?”
Me: “I’d like to report a murder.”
911 Operator: “Was someone shot?!”
Me: “No. Looks like it was graphic design.”
911 Operator: “Oh my “
casting director was bonin’ the producers/Weinstein’s
Asterix Warrior
Never been there when it’s “small”, but this is a false statement about this spot. Reef/rocks hurt!
Baby Beach? The swim diaper does provide a good amount of protection ….
Sasha “Not Ryan” Jane Lowerson probably has some fun baby beaches for Pip when the Margret event comes around!
No one does Groundhog Day quite like Filipe Toledo.
https://youtu.be/hQCG2AwzTx…
deja vu!
The one thing he could do to salvage some sort of self respect is come back to Sunset and tell them that after the nausea wore off he went to Maui and donated his time helping re-build Lahaina.
maui on my mind
Baby Beach usually has a high bacteria count so, BONUS, built in plausible excuse!
Oxnard & VTA both have baby beaches. Also known as unwed mother’s beach. Water unravels marriages, may cause ear, eye and stomach infections and raises the testosterone in women. (And possibly estrogen in men.) Phil: “Yeah I drank the baby water!”
see my new t-shirts!
I mean Pip did decide to move to San Clemente of all places……
Possibly relocating soon to Hippy’s new town. “World’s Safest Beach” according to legend. Strangely, surfing is prohibited year round and it’s sharky as.
Don’t tell him the bottom at Trestles is made out of rocks ….
It’s ok though…it never gets over 10 feet.
Not too sure which beach they are calling Baby Beach but I would assume they are referring to the area just east of Sprecks. Nice area but not too sure about the safest beach moniker. Place has a rock outcrop just off the beach that keeps the actual sand area calm but you hop over that ledge or move east of it and its anything but safe.
Yup between Baldwin’s and Specks. Basically a pool, but I towed into the biggest waves of my life just outside. Probably holds the biggest surf in Maui.