Buckle up.
Now, those who subscribe to the premium web log Stab are, of course, treated to much beloved exclusive content behind the paywall. They are also, though, gifted periodic emails from the desk of co-founder Sam McIntosh. This week, in peek into the gilded remote office, patrons learned that Bethany Hamilton thought that the title had been purchased by the World Surf League. The reasoning behind her thinking? That Stab was so milquetoast as to belong, squarely, behind the Wall of Positive Noise.
McIntosh blushed with what he considered a compliment and bequeathed Hamilton a special code into the site to “see what they were all about.”
He then proceeded to explain:
Here however, after three years of Stab Premium, you guys understand what we’re trying to do and why we hide these easter eggs within.
Imagine the virality – and the ensuing meltdown – from any of the following headlines on IG.
Jordy Smith Sued For $500k As A Teenager For Trying To Change Sponsor
Why John Florence Didn’t Sign A $5m Rip Curl Deal And How He Turned Down The Volcom Pipe House As A Signing Bonus
How Red Bull Dropped Andy Irons Because Of Cocaine Use
We Convinced Surfboard Sadist Schroff To Shape A Board With Arch-Nemesis Hayden Cox
The list goes on and on and on. Instead, as you know, we release these stories with the most benign of headlines: How Surfers Get Paid, episode one; Electric Acid Surfboard Test episode two etc. Because of this, the people who give us their time are not crucified on social media when their quotes are taken out of context from an entire storyline.
By keeping the salacious headlines off social, our talent can be transparent and unguarded with us. The past 8-10 weeks proved that with us finishing about 30 more interviews for How Surfers Get Paid, shot between California and Hawaii. We’ve landed some hammers there, too — industry heavyweight Evan Slater is back, Rosy Hodge talked about the formative years of her surf career, Jamie O steps up again with some mind blowing deals, Ben Gravy said “you won’t get me, dude” (spoiler: we got him), and Laura Enever and Shane Dorian might be battling for this season’s MVP title.
Sam McIntosh nearing sainthood by protecting the delicate feelings of “his talent” and, thereby, “getting” Ben Gravy.
I suppose I will have to comfort myself in the embrace of “my talent.” Namely, the Hobgood who didn’t win a world title.
Watch here!
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Do you actually pay the $8.99 or just use your dumb buddy’s login info and share that with the neighbors? The dumb buddy option seems way better since you don’t give Stab the $8.99 at all.
Your neighborhood must be crazy with everybody reading Stab and drinking beer. It’s a great idea, actually. I may stop buying beer for good and instead just trade different online magazine passwords to the neighbors for it. Like, for the old lady across the street I might get someone’s password to Good Housekeeping and then there is a yuppie that I’m sure will trade beer for a GQ password. Fuck, I might just quit my job and do this for all my worldly needs!
There really isn’t much left in the tank when it comes to my excitement for stab content anymore. The only reason I bought premium, was for SITD and EAST. They seem to dictate to much power over what was a really cool project. I mean, who the fuck tells MR he has to shape a quad!? Then give it to a guy who hates quads ( Mikey may have loved it). . Now they are dragging SITD out over 3 months. Fuck that, what am i paying for?
Nice crew neck.
Good question. 4.9 billion reasons to say no. And when it comes to core stuff, whatever you think of Stab’s tenuous relationship with Woodward / Bernstein style journalism, its people are actual surfers, not just corporate types using surfing as a pure marketing tool for their billion dollar company full of non surfers. Here’s how Chas himself described Sam’s own heavy water bona fides…
https://uploads.disquscdn.c… https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
I think we should leave
“that word” to Andy C
Sam Magnanimoustosh
lol
But, nah …
I remember meeting Sam and Derek in a bar in Bali. They were starting a magazine together.
Sam was the quieter of the two, Derek way more confident. One of the (platonic) female friends I was travelling with took a shine to Derek, describing him as “mysterious”.
Not the word or words I would have used…perhaps more “Aussie in Bali looking to get laid” come to mind. No shame in that but not a mystery either
Tell me more about our meeting! God, 2003?
Yep 2003.
A bar somewhere near the old Paddy’s site I think.
Seemed like you and Sam were on good terms back then and we had a good chat for awhile.
I remember you were going to surf a right hander on the east side next morning but wouldn’t tell me the name. It was dry season but you said the rights are often glassy for a few hours each morning.
Re the chicks, not a whole lot of mystery going on in my eyes. Didn’t worry me though, they were just platonic friends
Mate, if they’d’ve sent me the fins they promised, even a fricken hat, I would’ve been realtime censoring whilst you were typing, for them.
Bro… Don’t feel bad about the hat. I got one from them a few years back and it sat on my head like a Yahmakah.
My fav moment was when they got the Billabong guys to read the comments on camera.
And Creed McTaggart read my comment:
” would have been a good clip if his name wasn’t Creed, Nickelback or whatever gay shit it is”
Cunt was so salty!
haha that’s awesome
1.25, cunt doesn’t read all of it
Fuck Occy was a fat cunt
No way Occ knows how to log on to a computer or write an email.
big G energy
Love you too gorilla
I double dip. I like nothing more then teabagging this place, and then then building up really good sweat and then teabagging over there.
Competing BG web series called “How Surfers Go Broke.” Bruce Irons, we know you want your story told!
What is stab?
A joint where they ban ya if you’re a cunt
Speaking from experience?
Several times
You did behave very poorly
One does rise a meet a challenge
It’s a safe space for prepubescent sincere surf journalism.
And manbuns
Showing your age there Paulo.
Old and
wiseHow do I put the line
through wise?
use the strikethrough button
Sat the bottom of the box where you type the message and type between the > and <. e.g.wiseThank you
DROP MY NAME~
Its the mag Derek help build & got fleeced on
*’fleeced’ may have been self inflicted
Now there’s a story – Dez the NDA’s surely up, tell the story of you & Sam parting, Him buying you out & him selling to stitch & then later buying it back
PS to this day, you mentioning me in the STAB print foreword calling me a cunt or some what is my greatest journalistic acheivement 🙏🥰
MATTHEW PERRY DEAD IN HOT TUB.
Zero permits for that fence.
I’m not in the tax bracket to do that shit.
Shroff was probably bought off with an eight ball and Really? Bragging about getting Ben gravy?!? Guy has taken over with delusional crap filling people’s heads with this all inclusive message that’s made our entire sport so toxic with positivity that we literally can’t even recognize its falling apart at our feet. Should we care? Maybe. We might be the last generation of bums who get to surf before the rich cock suckers wall off every exclusive wave and create shadow governments so they can “hang”. It’s right in front of us, our ‘sport’ is getting sold out by guys like zeke and gravy. And we’re sitting here talking about Andy and red bull.
Where I live, the sport has been taken over by Van Life vals trying to get rich off being instagram influencers. It’s pathetic on so many levels, but the good thing is that none of them can surf and not only that, none of them care about getting better.
Years ago a guy like me would have been pensioned off to a mini mal and surf all the gutless breaks. But since no one knows how to surf, I can sit on the takeoff and get the set waves with ease.
Maybe it’s different in the truly high performance surf spots because there will always be waves where all the hot surfers are and once you are on the wrong side of 30 (if not 25) you are gonna struggle, but how many of us live there?
The only problem I find at good spots (Points in particular) is that when swell direction is right all they have to do is stand up and they can take it to the beach. Watching a good quality wave wasted as they are 30 ft in front of the white water/pocket on there Album something or another always breaks my heart. I do love scratching in behind them when they are that far out then act like its my wave. That is fun.
Tragedy. Glad you’re doing your part not to waste precious natural resources.
SB welcomes you!! These things seem to run in cycles, long board to short to long again….plenty of room and leftover dredgers again!!.( now that Im retired ,oh well)
Easter eggs? More like keister eggs.
More like content that is paid for twice, by the company the article is written about and by subscribers. Stab in the dark is the biggest hand job on earth. The staff is getting spiffed out by the companies and the “readers” are paying to see the content. I call it ‘the Stab rimjob’