Yang Siqi, surf Olympian
Yang SIqi, fourteen-year-old surf Olympian, inset, and get psyched CCP poster.

Chinese Reds pour millions into surfing as 14-year-old prodigy Yang Siqi qualifies for Paris 2024

The Chinese Communist Party have left no stone unturned, no child unexamined, in their quest for Olympic surfing greatness.

The commies sure do like a slug of international prestige and the Olympics is to dictatorships and totalitarian regimes what fentanyl is to the vagabonds of San Francisco. 

Hitler in ’36, testosterone-fuelled East German gals and Russians filled to the gills with steroids in the eighties. There ain’t greater proof of an idealogical superiority than domination in world sport. 

And the Chinese Communist Party, rulers of the most resilient one-party state in the world, have left no stone unturned, no child unexamined, in their search for Olympic greatness, in whatever form it comes even surf. 

Under the tutelage of the world’s first pro surfing champ Australian Peter Townend and former Team Japan coach South African Wade Sharp, the westerners have taken kids who’ve never seen the ocean and helped produce China’s first-ever surf Olympian, the fourteen-year-old prodigy Yang Siqi, often miswritten as Siqi Yang.

She ain’t Caity Simmers yet but Yang Siqi draws a good line, hits the lip pretty square, can throw the tail and ain’t so far off landing straight airs.

 

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A post shared by Siqi Yang (@siqiyang24)

Yang Siqi, who’ll be the youngest surf Olympian in the field, began surfing in 2018 and will be thrown to the wolves at Teahupoo for the four-day Olympic event which runs over four days during a nine-day window beginning July 27.

The Chinese have thrown three million American dollars at Paris 2024, up from a mill for Tokyo in 2020.

The money is used to train hundred of kids, taking ‘em on surf trips around the world, five months in total in 2023, and buying ‘em all boards from the best American and Australian shapers including the legendary Jason Stevenson although, mysteriously, none by the world’s greatest shaper Johnny Cabianca. 

Inspirational etc.

@peoplesdaily_renminribao Yang Siqi made a breakthrough for China after securing her Olympic berth at the #WorldSurfingGames in Arecibo, #PuertoRico, on Friday. Yang, 14, will be the first Chinese surfer to compete in the #OlympicGames since the sport made its debut at the #TokyoOlympics ♬ original sound – People’s Daily 人民日报
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benkei
benkei
2 years ago

I hope the best surfer wins the Olympics..yet I am fucking worried about a nation of 1 2 Bilions getying excited about surfing. That would be the end!

I do see Chinese surfers in Bali

Headhighandfuckemall
Headhighandfuckemall
2 years ago

https://uploads.disquscdn.c…

throw back to a more pro active time

Shredy Kruger
Shredy Kruger
2 years ago

Hopefully they sent her straight to Tahiti to train!

Barrelled
Barrelled
2 years ago

When I read that caption the first I thought of was that shit you used to put on cuts in Indo that everyone called Chinese Red, I think it was actually mecurochrome. No longer allowed for sale in the states but it sure was magic for closing up cuts quick in the tropical humidity.

Stick man
Stick man
2 years ago

Sum Yung Gurl

deeks
deeks
2 years ago

I think they’re worried about updraft. Force and tension ra rah. I’m wondering if those gambling sites have odds on it blowing over.

SaltyHB
SaltyHB
2 years ago
Working Class Hero
Working Class Hero
2 years ago

Philips cowardness at the end of the road either going to be completely forgotten about or put into hyperdrive once these Olympic games are wrapped. Wouldn’t be surprised if they run the shit at Papara.

HaoleBoy
HaoleBoy
2 years ago

CCP also pouring 100s of millions of dollars into US transgender activism. This is because they care about American kids as well.

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
2 years ago
Reply to  HaoleBoy

Yep, cause lab-manufactured wuhan virus didn’t work as intended. So US’s CDC and Dr. Fauci took to a more basic health education route and supported unnecessary surgery by tapping screws into women’s craniums and removing surflinemen’s gonads.

Rich Marx
Rich Marx
2 years ago

When China was starting their Olympic surf program I was very skeptical they could get results without an organic surf culture. Even before everyone moved to San Clemente you’d get pockets of really good kids that were made better by competing w their friends and seeing good surfing in person from the community of surfers around them.

But every time I’ve seen the Chinese kids surf they’re better than they should be.

Sellme fitzgobbins
Sellme fitzgobbins
2 years ago

I so hope a 14 yr old Chinese girl wins Olympic gold at 10ft chopes

Doobalachy
Doobalachy
2 years ago

I wonder if she will be allowed home if she doesn’t catch a wave

Happy Camper
Happy Camper
2 years ago

I see Kelly’s hands all over this.
his GF is Chinese.

7dollarsurfboard
7dollarsurfboard
2 years ago

The only reason they are using USA and Australia boards is because their official Olympic sponsor, Wish, couldn’t deliver them in time due to COVID related delays.

Gino
Gino
2 years ago

Take a surf trip to that place you always wanted to go in the near future.
Surfing is about to get very crowded.

Sean Connery
Sean Connery
2 years ago
Reply to  Gino

About?

Black Rubber
Black Rubber
2 years ago
Reply to  Gino

Nah. Brazzos and Italians already took care of that.

Nonagon_Infinity
Nonagon_Infinity
2 years ago

Shoulda paid Moana Jones-Wong a couple of million to fly the flag

Gil Gunderson
Gil Gunderson
2 years ago

As long as she keeps out those damn Mongolians!

Beef & Beer
Beef & Beer
2 years ago

Yang Siqi at Teahupo’o
Or
Young Seeky at TayAhWhoPawAw
(proper pronunciation, just get used to it)
Nice

Similarly, but not
The Ruski’s always have some sport appropriate tennis player names like Smackenimova etc etc.
Are there any ‘surf sounding’ Ruski names ?

deeks
deeks
2 years ago
Reply to  Beef & Beer

AJ’s equivalent might be Natasha Takeyatopoff. Dunno about surfies.

Michael Flatlately
Michael Flatlately
2 years ago
Reply to  Beef & Beer

Kournirinsa

7dollarsurfboard
7dollarsurfboard
2 years ago
Reply to  Beef & Beer

The Russian surfer who has felipes courage/balls is called Whodya Nickabollockoff.

Firelipe Torpedo
Firelipe Torpedo
2 years ago

What’s a wall of skulls without a few skulls

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
2 years ago

gorilla glue?

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
2 years ago

as an Oscar performer loser, and some semblance of knowing…Taiwan is not running outta chips. San Jose is. Sausalito still have Oswald’s. order now!


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