USA Surfing ends “The Great Homeschool Experiment,” partners with Colorado State University to provide “advancement opportunities” for left behind learners

Cruise ship hospitality management, here one-time surf dreamers come.

It seems like just yesterday that beach adjacent parents could pull their little surfer son, or daughter, out of school if he, or she, could kick an air reverse before the age of ten and all but guarantee their young charge a low six-figure job first as a qualifying series “hopeful” then as a brand rep.

Alas, yesterday and all surf-related opportunities seem so far away. Now, all the brands are owned by one of two management companies which, both, only sponsor top-tier talent for a fraction of the price and don’t need reps because Costco. Parents and children, caught flat footed by the sudden change are now looking down the barrel of illiteracy for illiteracy’s sake.

The air-reverse market straight dried up.

What then are sixteen-year-olds without education to do?

Besides surf instruct.

Thankfully USA Surfing has peered out into the desolate future and is deciding to act before the retardé flood the already-strained welfare system. In a first-of-kind move, the International Surfing Association recognized governing body has partnered with Colorado State University’s online portal, CSU Global, to “provide opportunities for professional advancement and access to its online programs anywhere in the world with an internet connection.”

Cruise ship hospitality management, here one-time surf dreamers come.

“We are honored to partner on USA Surfing’s mission to support members in their educational and professional goals,” Dr. Becky Takeda-Tinker, President at CSU Global, told the school’s PR team. “Since inception, CSU Global has continued to evolve to meet the changing needs of its modern learners, providing not only high-quality programs taught by industry-experienced and academically qualified instructors but also the 1:1 support and resources our students need to succeed whenever and from wherever their busy lives take them. As global citizens, USA Surfing’s members are the type of learners who will uniquely benefit from our flexible fully online programs and services, and we would like to thank HCM Strategists and its CEO and Founding Partner Kristin Hultquist for making this connection possible and for their continued support of higher education innovation.”

“USA Surfing is stoked to partner with CSU Global to offer surfers a valuable opportunity to boost their earning power and careers in and out of the water,” added USA Surfing executive director Becky Fleischauer Jewell, making sure to include “stoke” in the first line. “Traditional college hasn’t always fit a competitive surfer’s schedule competing around the world on mother nature’s timetable. As a result, many surfers miss out on gaining college learning opportunities and credits toward degrees that lead to good-paying jobs in and outside the surf industry.”

But do imagine that San Clemente’s third and fourth finest will quickly enroll or will they, rather, take Ms. Jewell’s lead and blame mother nature for a life poorly lived?

More, certainly, as the story develops.

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Barrelled
Barrelled
2 years ago

Does that apply to 4-year universities though? Don’t you still need a diploma or GED or AA to get in?

deeks
deeks
2 years ago

https://youtu.be/3cV6pnvCVM…
Stay in school cos it’s the best

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
2 years ago
Reply to  deeks

outta my league, but huli opu might like this…https://scontent-sjc3-1.xx.fbcdn.ne…

Happy Camper
Happy Camper
2 years ago

the epitome of hypocrisy.
for two years officials screaming like their hair’s on fire: “DON’T GO TO WORK! DON’T GO TO SCHOOL! DON’T LEAVE YOUR HOMES!”
then when everyone decides, hey my kids learn more by not going to those shit indoctrination centers and people get more work done at home than in their safe space offices filled with overly litigious woke conscious work mates…and they all have more free time to enjoy their lives, now they got told sold everything possible to drag em’ back into the machine.

Dont worry Fins, the jack-slippered fascist party of Hawaii is on it:
from SCR 88:
WHEREAS, no information has been provided to the Legislature regarding the welfare of homeschooled students and the services that the Office of Student Support Services provides; now, therefore,
BE IT RESOLVED by the Senate of the Thirty-second Legislature of the State of Hawaii, Regular Session of 2024, the House of Representatives concurring, that the Department of Education is requested to conduct a wellness *visit for any child who has been removed from a Department of Education school to be homeschooled

*visits will be performed by DOE officials, CPS and/or HPD officers if necessary. No warrant or complaint required.

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
2 years ago
Reply to  Happy Camper

all in all, we’re just another brick in the wall… Ian Anderson: “Well enough, Roger. You’re just as thick as a brick!”

7dollarsurfboard
7dollarsurfboard
2 years ago

Aren’t all 2%ers already enrolled in the school of soft cocks

surfshiny
surfshiny
2 years ago

Skool is kool!

Nonagon_Infinity
Nonagon_Infinity
2 years ago

Tyler Wright would make a good student, reckons she got a new prefrontal cortex..

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
2 years ago
JoJo the Dog Faced Boy
JoJo the Dog Faced Boy
2 years ago
Reply to  tim_nelsen

Speaking of STFU you old bald cunt…

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
2 years ago

surf contest here? go for it~

https://scontent-sjc3-1.xx….

Beachie
Beachie
2 years ago

Get a trade and then you can buy your own Bailey’s ladder.

janeausten
janeausten
2 years ago

online study = smug cunts on their laptops blocking a table at the coffee shop

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
2 years ago
Reply to  janeausten

give blood?

JohnsKnees
JohnsKnees
2 years ago

Back to school, back to school, to prove to dad that I’m not a fool.

Sellme fitzgobbins
Sellme fitzgobbins
2 years ago

Plan B for the 2% ers

Otto
Otto
2 years ago

Colorado State University will most certainly ensure students are at least taught two things. One, they’re all oppressors, every one of them. And two, that Haiti’s present collapse has nothing to do with Hillary Clinton.

Derek Hynd's Missing Fins
Derek Hynd's Missing Fins
2 years ago
Reply to  Otto

Maybe they’ll offer a polisci class exploring how under R policies as an embryo becomes more and more female, it loses more and more of its rights. Or a class on how more R leadership has now been found more guilty of various types of sexual assault than there have been documented instances of voter fraud. It’s like the hypocrisy just writes itself. Seems perfect for your view of college, Obomb. The only difference of course is if they’re taking a course while in Indo instead of in CO, they can’t pack a chalice.

JohnsKnees
JohnsKnees
2 years ago

The funniest part about Otard’s comment is CSU is one of the more Moderate schools in Colorado. His dumb ass must of thought the article was talking about CU.

Otto
Otto
2 years ago
Reply to  JohnsKnees

Moderate according to who?

JohnsKnees
JohnsKnees
2 years ago
Reply to  Otto

Admissions sites.

Where did you get your CSU circilum from?

Otto
Otto
2 years ago
Reply to  JohnsKnees

CSU is woke.
https://studentaffairs.colo…

https://oieimpact.colostate…

Decidedly not moderate.

Derek Hynd's Missing Fins
Derek Hynd's Missing Fins
2 years ago
Reply to  Otto
Otto
Otto
2 years ago

Good grief
You cite an Australian YouTuber communist living in Argentina.

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
2 years ago

Are there elections in your classroom proved utopia?

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
2 years ago

COME TO PRAYER, MISSION BELLS RINGING, FREE GREENDAY CONCERT!

JohnsKnees
JohnsKnees
2 years ago
Reply to  Otto

Last I checked, allowing diversity in college was a moderate position. Maybe not in your world but for the rest of us it is.

Define woke.

Otto
Otto
2 years ago
Reply to  JohnsKnees

DEI is a cancerous growth in society.

Woke: when everything must be understood and seen through the prism of racial and social justice.

JohnsKnees
JohnsKnees
2 years ago
Reply to  Otto

Crazy, so by your standards BYU is woke becasue they also have a page on DEI?
https://inclusion.byu.edu/

Or the University of Dallas which Princeton Review ranked as #5 most Conservative college
https://udallas.edu/diversi…

Otto
Otto
2 years ago
Reply to  JohnsKnees

Like I said, DEI is a cancerous growth in society.

Princeton is fully committed to the woke anti-raciat bs. Just ask eminent linguist Joshua Katz.

Those colleges should dismantle those DEI Offices ASAP. Cancer is hard to kill.

JohnsKnees
JohnsKnees
2 years ago
Reply to  Otto

Nothing like advocating going back to segregation. Stay classy.

Otto
Otto
2 years ago
Reply to  JohnsKnees
Barrelled
Barrelled
2 years ago
Reply to  Otto

That’s not the definition of woke. It’s the past tense of the word wake.

Otto
Otto
2 years ago
Reply to  Barrelled

Can’t wait for the DEI wake.

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
2 years ago
Reply to  Otto

Where The Buffaloes Roam?

Barrelled
Barrelled
2 years ago
Reply to  JohnsKnees

Woke: a trigger word used by scared conservatives.

Otto
Otto
2 years ago
Reply to  Barrelled

white liberals stole it from Lead Belly.

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
2 years ago
Reply to  Barrelled

Buffaloed~

Otto
Otto
2 years ago

Right on cue you change the subject. Like clockwork. Must have escaped JohnsKnees attention.

JohnsKnees
JohnsKnees
2 years ago
Reply to  Otto

says the guy most accused of changing the subject. Irony is dead.

Otto
Otto
2 years ago
Reply to  JohnsKnees

when you say “most”, what you really mean is mostly you

Brutus
Brutus
2 years ago
Reply to  Otto

shit, I thought Lock her up Hilary was achieved by his Herr Orangeness , and Haiti’s current readjustment cycle was a result of HO’s unique negotiating skills ???

Otto
Otto
2 years ago
Reply to  Brutus

“readjustment cycle”….guess that’s one way to describe it. Barbecue is calling it a “Bloody Revolution”, but what would he know, he’s just leading it.

Brutus
Brutus
2 years ago
Reply to  Otto

nah, bloody revolution is so passe…..Readjustment cycle is what we are all experiencing now , nothing like a good dictator and a Hitler loving bloke…and now BBQ……the blacks are coming for you and us all!!

Otto
Otto
2 years ago
Reply to  Brutus

He earned that nickname, given cause he likes burning people alive.

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
2 years ago
Reply to  Brutus

Kissinger is the go-to guy~RIP…restless in peace~

deeks
deeks
2 years ago
Reply to  tim_nelsen

Oh man I hated that guy

RQ.
RQ.
2 years ago

The Derek Zoolander Center for Kids Who Can’t Read Good and Who Wanna Learn to Do Other Stuff Surf Good Too.

Com Turren
Com Turren
2 years ago

With all the halfway houses they’ve allowed to operate in SC and the game of musical chairs that the cities in South OC have been playing with their homeless populations, you have no idea how close you’ve come to the truth.

Barrelled
Barrelled
2 years ago

I’m con-fus-ed. This is a state university that will certainly have requirements for enrollment, likely a high school diploma and minimum GPA. How does this apply to “sixteen-year-olds without education”? How boring is Revelstoke?

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
2 years ago
Reply to  Barrelled

Online education, my dude.

Barrelled
Barrelled
2 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

It’s still a university Charles. Still need diploma or ged.

Com Turren
Com Turren
2 years ago

But will this finally teach Griffin how to read and write beyond a 3rd grade level?

Sellme fitzgobbins
Sellme fitzgobbins
2 years ago
Reply to  Com Turren

you can lead a horse to water….


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