"Let’s assume he gets wildcards to Tahiti and
Cloudbreak..."
We, many of us here, have all been pretending
that the world’s greatest historical surfer Kelly Slater is done.
Goose cooked. Bun firmly in oven. That his retirement announcement
after failing to advance at the just-wrapped Margaret River Pro,
thereby dropping him below the cut line and off tour, was real
twice over. First, in that he wanted to “step back” with baby boy
on the way. Second, that he simply could not continue due not being
on tour.
Now, last year the World Surf League fixed it by gifting the 11
x champion a special season long wildcard. This year, the “global
home of surfing” has not offered a similar golden ticket miffing
Slater’s most diehard fans. These Slateries want to see him in a
competition singlet come hell or high water and they just might get
their sinful wish.
For an eagle-eye’d surf fan has run the numbers and… well
here.
Hey Chas,
I was just thinking about the GOAT’s retirement.
Let’s assume he gets wildcards to Tahiti and Cloudbreak. He
can definitely win one if not both those if it’s pumping.
Now, according to WSL rules. Ex champions accrue points
towards the ranking post cut even if they are wildcards.
If Kelly was to win one and do ok in the other, make 2 semis
for example, he would probably have enough points to secure a place
for next year right? If he places above the 22nd surfer.
Could we see Kelly rising from the ashes back from
retirement in three months?
He now sits with 3990 pints. 1 win and a semi would add
16085 points taking him to 20000. With only 2 more events besides
these it would be hard for the bottom surfers to secure more than
that.
Interesting.
Interesting is right.
Thoughts?
More as the story develops.
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Big-wave skimboarder Brad Domke becomes
face of breakthrough foldable surfboard brand!
The big-wave skimboarder Brad Domke needs little to no
introduction, although some introduction may be necessary
if we wish to to cement his bona fides as the face of a new
foldable surfboard brand.
He rides Nazaré, Puerto
Escondido, Jaws and even the big
wave in Western Australia called The Right on his little disc.
Brad Domke became world-renowned for castrating his surfboard by
using it only to paddle into the wave before jumping onto his
fifty-three-inch, flat-rockered,
finless disc, an event that is difficult to remove
from your consciousness.
(Did you know Brad Domke only has one board? He rides the same
carbon-fibre aureole at Teahupoo as he does at
three-foot shorebreaks. Quivers? Who needs ’em?)
With four days to ago, and with sixty-five backers pledging
money, NIMBL has exceeded its modest 20k goal.
The foldable surfboard has long been the holy grail of the men
with slicked back hair who wish to chase waves but don’t want to
give up their little red coupes or former bodyboarders who miss
carrying their vehicles on their backs.
As far back as 1964, Karl Pope and Thomas Price registered a
patent for their foldable surfboard. The Bisect was “characterised
by its simplicity of construction and in its adaptability to
economical manufacture.”
An early version of the foldable
surfboard.
A couple of years later, Herman Bank launched his multi-board,
which was also known as the “suitcase surfboard”.
NIMBL, “is a no-brainer for both beginner and seasoned surfers
looking to keep a spare mid-length board in the car, ready for
any conditions. Now instead of meticulously securing boards on roof
racks, you can throw it in the trunk and spend more time surfing.
From driving to your local beach for an early morning sesh to
barreling in the most remote waters when the opportunity arises –
Epic trips are imminent with a board that is as on-the-go as you
are. Leave your worries behind with your board safely tucked away
in the trunk. NIMBL takes the
hassle out of surfing, anytime and anywhere.”
In the clip below, Brad Domke, who is the salaried face of
NIMBL, details its many advantages.
Domke’s fans aren’t sold, howevs.
Dude, you dominate but you know that’s gonna buckle under
any pressure
This is satire ?!?!?
You’re a few days early… this is an April Fools Joke,
right?
Kook stick.
To which Domke replies,
“I bring a foamie with me every time I head to the beach. And I
break them all quickly. And it cost me tons of $. I’ve always kept
in eye on what could be the next perfect all around foamie to ride
and do transfers with. As I’ve tried so many soft top brands. When
I found out about the NIMBL foldable fomie. I was instantly
interested knowing the board was already in half and rideable!
Which is the direction I am moving into having a one board does all
“surf/transfer” and the fact that it’s already in half and not
ending my sessions snapped and unusable like what ends up happening
to me time after time. @aethiaoutdoors
created this foamie before I had even met the company. After
meeting them I personally tested this foamie model out before
joining the team and seeing how well it works with this mechanism.
After testing and realizing it’s worked well I’m proud to join them
and help evolve this brand. But this surfboard particularly is
great for beginners and up who just want to get wet and get in the
water for a healthy surf however the conditions are. And it fold
up.s and it’s easy to store in the trunk/backseat or bring to the
beach with the back pack it comes with which lets you be hands free
on the way there. Which I personally love about it.”
The World Surf League, yesterday, became
blessed for the first time in as long as its most ardent fan could
remember. Waiting periods stretched out to the bitter end has been
the rule for two years now? Three? Professional surfers forced to
battle for their supper in low quality waves offering little
natural scoring potential. Commentators done crazy by forcing to
pretend “critical” and “critical” mean the same thing.
But not yesterday.
For yesterday, the sun rose upon Margaret River’s main break and
the swells pulsed forth and professional surfers overlapped them to
the awe and amazement of the aforementioned ardent fan, who only
sometimes complained about it not being contested at a nearby
Box.
One them women’s side, Kauai’s Gabriela Bryan saved herself from
the cut, and beat San Clemente’s Sawyer Lindbald, hoisting the
golden wine goblet in triumph.
The only blackness marring an otherwise perfect ten hours came
when a group of narcissistic dolphins decided the time was right to
steal the world’s attention by committing priority interference on
Bryan’s second highest scoring wave.
CNN, which
bills itself “the first name in news,” breathlessly shared the
“magical moment” leaving the exploits of the long-suffering top
tier surfers all but on the cutting room floor. Fox News,
following, declared it a “postcard from heaven.”
Left unmentioned was the fact that Lindbald also avoided the
dreaded mid-season cut.
Potential ardent surf fans cooing at spotlight hogging cetaceans
instead of congratulating the ten women and twenty-two men who will
be allowed to professionally surf moving forward.
Yago Dora survived.
Callum Robson did not.
Bonsoy, dear friend.
Bonsoy and fare thee well.
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Little Jackie Robinson wins Margaret River Pro for
second time and again over John John Florence. | Photo:
@greenroomtimes
Jack Robinson womb-strokes rampaging John
John Florence in hall-of-fame Margaret River Pro final!
Daring for Jack Robinson is not a habit but a
well-figured out challenge.
In six-foot waves painted the prettiest blue, Jack
Robinson suffocated a rampaging John John Florence in the
final of the Margaret River Pro, the second time the Western
Australian has crushed the storied Hawaiian Olympian in a MR
final.
If popularity can be measured by collective madness and scenes
of amorous women weeping for his autograph, there is no shadow of a
doubt that John John Florence is the most popular surfer in the
world.
John John Florence,
whose plain face is marked by a thousand anxieties and half-formed
thoughts, was adjudicated to’ve completed a perfect ride when he
utilised a manoeuvre in his semi-final first brought to the world’s
attention by Tom Curren at J-Bay, a throwaway layback brought back
underfoot; a turn weaponised by Andy Irons in the late nineties and
named the frontside disaster, although it had only a passing
resemblance to the skate turn of the same name.
“I’m just excited to surf out there,” said John John Florence
after. “I can’t wait to go out in these waves. I look at these
walls and I feel so much excitement. I love that.”
Jack Robinson, meanwhile, a Western Australian with the
excessively broad shoulders of a man who makes love a lot, drew his
famous lines on the wide blue faces, hitting a nine and an eight
against John.
He treated the champ like a peasant he’d found among the
grapevines of his vineyard, scrutinising every wave until the death
case lest his victim escape.
“The family were seeking a home where they could
come together from their scattered locations across the world and
get back to the source: a place to be reunited, replenished, and
cocooned."
Only one year ago, Sydney surfers were stunned when a
crumblingfour-apartment citadel in Tamarama, which once
hosted world number 32 Kelly Slater, sold for almost six times
what it was worth ten years previous.
Lang Syne, before.The hundred-year-old brown brick joint called
Lang Syne at Tamarama, since demolished.
That joint was swiftly demolished and, now, readying to grow in
its place is a house by the noted architect Luigi Rosselli,
Tamarama and its surrounds is crawling with Rosselli’s trademark
curved lines, that’ll take three-to-four years to build, cost
around ten and make the whole package worth around one hundred
mill.
Do the sums, forty-five for the dirt, ten for the house, maybe a
few mill for miscellaneous expenses and that’s one helluva
return.
“The topline brief David and Marisa provided was a simple one:
design a family home worthy of such a special and breathtaking
location,” writes Rosselli. “Something beautiful, and organic, that
exists in harmony with its natural surroundings and its occupants.
A generational home that gives more than it takes.
Luigi Rosselli design for 31 Gaerloch Ave
Tamarama.Swinging little front yard.The view from the lil cul de sac where surfers
check Maccas.
“The family were seeking a home where they could come together
from their scattered locations across the world and get back to the
source: a place to be reunited, replenished, and cocooned.
“In the design approach for this new Australian ‘icon’, the goal
is to retain the organic beauty of the site, with its wind-carved
rocks, through an organic plan with a counterpoint play of eroded
horizontal slabs and cocoon shaped vertical breaks, the latter to
be constructed with the bricks, slate roof tiles, and sandstone
retained from the demolition of the existing home on the site.”
Not everyone around here is thrilled as you might imagine. There
was something of that lingering Australian egalitarianism in an
ordinary family home being perched on the country’s most valuable
beachfront land. I always found it a marvel that you could peer
over the rock wall and into the front garden of a modest home where
four children used to play.
A neighbour has subsequently described the plans as an “eyesore”
and “horrific. Blight on the landscape. What the actual fuck?”
Like a sleeping monster from Where the Wild
Things Are, the new Rosselli build dominates the
headland.
I think it’s possible to be both delighted and repelled by the
new design.
The elegance of a Luigi Rosselli home cannot be underestimated
and what a thrill it’ll be to watch this hulking Where the Wild
Things Are monster in repose take shape on the headland.
Less of a joy will be its new role as a shuttered occasional
plaything of the wildly rich, the crown of the clifftop obscured by
a mansion enjoyed by very few.
