Pod of narcissistic dolphins mars otherwise perfect Margaret River Pro women’s final

Big time priority interference.

The World Surf League, yesterday, became blessed for the first time in as long as its most ardent fan could remember. Waiting periods stretched out to the bitter end has been the rule for two years now? Three? Professional surfers forced to battle for their supper in low quality waves offering little natural scoring potential. Commentators done crazy by forcing to pretend “critical” and “critical” mean the same thing.

But not yesterday.

For yesterday, the sun rose upon Margaret River’s main break and the swells pulsed forth and professional surfers overlapped them to the awe and amazement of the aforementioned ardent fan, who only sometimes complained about it not being contested at a nearby Box.

Local son Jack Robinson bested Oahu’s John John Florence in the men’s final, wrapped lovingly by an in-form Derek Rielly.

One them women’s side, Kauai’s Gabriela Bryan saved herself from the cut, and beat San Clemente’s Sawyer Lindbald, hoisting the golden wine goblet in triumph.

The only blackness marring an otherwise perfect ten hours came when a group of narcissistic dolphins decided the time was right to steal the world’s attention by committing priority interference on Bryan’s second highest scoring wave.

CNN, which bills itself “the first name in news,” breathlessly shared the “magical moment” leaving the exploits of the long-suffering top tier surfers all but on the cutting room floor. Fox News, following, declared it a “postcard from heaven.”

Left unmentioned was the fact that Lindbald also avoided the dreaded mid-season cut.

Potential ardent surf fans cooing at spotlight hogging cetaceans instead of congratulating the ten women and twenty-two men who will be allowed to professionally surf moving forward.

Yago Dora survived.

Callum Robson did not.

Bonsoy, dear friend.

Bonsoy and fare thee well.