Legendary surfboard designer Geoff McCoy,
“creative, intense, cocksure”, dead at seventy-nine
By Derek Rielly
“The most dominant force in surfing around the
world…”
They sure don’t make ‘em like ol Geoff McCoy anymore and
maybe there’ll never be another like him. A child of the
fifties and sixties, a man of the seventies and eighties, unsullied
by the viruses of the modern world.
The legendary surfboard shaper and designer whose no-nose
concept paved the way, at least partly, for the modern thruster
outline has died in Tasmania, aged seventy-six.
Geoff McCoy, described so poetically by Matt Warshaw as
“creative, intense,
cocksure” is best-known for his Lazor Zap design, a
tear-drop shaped surfboard with a big ass and a needle dick that
Cheyne Horan rode to consecutive world title runner-up finishes in
1981 and 1982.
McCoy never recovered from the setback, at least financially,
and drew a narrative that he was being crushed by the “industry”,
although he continued to shape in his little factory there in Tweed
Heads.
Apart from the Lazor Zap, you could buy a Quazor Zip, an Astron Hot or
a Nugget.
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10! 10! 10! 10! 10! for John John
Florence!
Snot and piss and tears fly in World Surf
League judging booth as epic Margaret River final evaporates
drudgery that brought us here!
By JP Currie
Or wait... did it?
Good waves cure most ills, as we well know.
But historic low level trauma is hard to cut through. That’s
what this Margaret River comp felt like. On again, off again.
Insufficient waves. Achingly long lulls. Hanging on to the vain
hope of something good on the final day. Watching compelling
narratives spool out, then sag.
No-one within the WSL will understand this, of course. All they
will see is a successful finals day and believe it evaporates
memories of the drudgery that brought us there.
The final, between the enigmatic John Florence and Jack
Robinson, a man forever hovering between psychopathy and
transcendence, was valid. Both traded in numbers deemed to be
excellent on the arbitrary, fluid, and oft controversial scale set
by the WSL. But there was no controversy this time.
Florence gave a good account, and will still lay claim in the
minds of many to the title of best surfer at Margaret River.
But Jack Robinson won, and he would stand vehemently against
this. He did so in the final by mainlining uncut panache, leaving
his best performance til last in tantric mastery of heat
strategy.
His 9.10 was unquestionably the best wave of the heat. It was
only two turns, but the opener was the best of the whole
competition. It was a turn worthy of a poster, whipping him back
into the pocket with such ferocity that he momentarily disappeared
behind the falling lip.
Yet he emerged, as he always does, to connect with the end
section and add exclamation to ecstasy. The resulting finger
wagging claim was well-warranted.
Not so justified was the hard sell on the final wave of his
quarter final against Imaikalani deVault. There was doubtful
conjecture in the booth about whether he’d got the 7.17 he needed
to turn the heat, yet the score came in at 8.33, perhaps owing
mostly to his vigorous reaction.
Judges are prone to this sort of emotional response, especially
in the final moments of heats or from surfers who use claims
sparingly. They latch onto narratives like the rest of us, and this
can skew the scores into the highly subjective region of
objectivity.
They’d been dying to give John a ten, as they eventually did in
his semi final match with wildcard George Pittar.
How many excellent scores has Florence had now at Margaret
River? How good is he here?
And, oh, what’s that board he’s riding!
Please, sir, won’t you tell me again?
When Florence blew out the tail in a layback no-one should’ve
recovered from, the judging tower squealed with the collective glee
of middle-aged men watching bias confirmed.
In the booth, Taj Burrow, ageless as a woodland sprite, assessed
the score at a 9.63. Both wonderfully precise and highly
agreeable.
Yet in the judges tower chubby digits had been poised for John,
just waiting to punch in perfection. Snot and piss and tears
flew.
Unanimous tens!
Somewhere, Clay Marzo peered at his phone and furrowed his
brow.
It was a great wave, a spectacular wave, but did it really
deserve a premium insulated tub?
Does any?
Worthy of note were the performances of Seth Moniz, who looked
better than he ever has. According to commentary, the strategy in
the Moniz camp was a code word to encapsulate his approach. That
word was “Moledo”, a neologic mash-up of Moniz and Toledo.
The approach worked. Not only did Moniz notch his best finish in
a long time, but he vaulted eleven places in the rankings and far
away from the cut line he’d been hovering round.
It was a valid strategy, for surely Filipe would’ve made
mincemeat of Margaret River over the past couple of weeks. No Box
to worry about, just mediocre Mainbreak walls to eke power and
speed where others would find none.
Moniz had clearly been watching lots of tape, and in the glare
of a midday sun you’d have been forgiven for mistaking him for
Toledo. His rails were incisive, his surfing faster and more
torquey than usual. And his arm placement, those high elbows so
emblematic of Toledo’s style, was picture perfect.
But performances like this, the entertaining finals, the solid
waves, all of it was too long coming.
Was the waiting period for this competition really only ten
days? It felt double that.
We need these things done in two.
Put simply: we need fewer surfers and better waves.
The first thing is easy, and from this point forward will be
somewhat addressed.
The second is a little more complex. You can’t script the
weather, but you can give yourself a better shot at aligning with
it.
Overlapping heats should be standard. This format speeds
progress through rounds, maximises good waves, and alleviates
lapses in action.
On days like this, a lot might happen in a short space of time,
and I’m sure judges hate it when a flurry of waves leads to a
backlog of scores. But it’s not about them, it’s about the viewing
experience.
This is the mistake made relentlessly by the WSL. They remain
ignorant of the end user experience, the fans that might make or
break them.
I’m sure ten days of trawling wineries in Western Australia or
scoring waves around the Peniche peninsula (everywhere but the
contest site) suits the WSL employees just fine. If I was part of
that bubble I’d love it, too. Maybe I would even grin inanely and
happily spruik milk substitutes and ladder companies.
Of course there’s a wall of positive noise. Why would you
challenge such a cushy gig? And of course they’re pumped on a final
day of good waves. It’s the climax of a ten day holiday!
Whether it’s wilful or blinkered ignorance of their failures
hardly matters.
To its detriment, the World Surf League is still largely an
insular, jobs-for-the-boys, cottage industry. It is resistant to
change and ignorant of simple truths.
They might think that one day of good waves cures all, but it’s
a handjob without eye contact.
How many days of glaring mediocrity is that really worth? How
much time and sustained interest can we really give?
It’s hard to love pro surfing when it doesn’t love you back.
The WSL wants to be a serious sports league. Its existence
depends on it. But no amount of brand activations or gushing
superlatives can compensate for the fact that competitions can only
muster a few hours of genuine entertainment among days of mush.
And that, quite simply, will be the death of it.
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Kelly Slater back on top?
Earthquake cracks pro surfing’s foundation
after revelation beheaded Kelly Slater has actual path to
requalification!
By Chas Smith
"Let’s assume he gets wildcards to Tahiti and
Cloudbreak..."
We, many of us here, have all been pretending
that the world’s greatest historical surfer Kelly Slater is done.
Goose cooked. Bun firmly in oven. That his retirement announcement
after failing to advance at the just-wrapped Margaret River Pro,
thereby dropping him below the cut line and off tour, was real
twice over. First, in that he wanted to “step back” with baby boy
on the way. Second, that he simply could not continue due not being
on tour.
Now, last year the World Surf League fixed it by gifting the 11
x champion a special season long wildcard. This year, the “global
home of surfing” has not offered a similar golden ticket miffing
Slater’s most diehard fans. These Slateries want to see him in a
competition singlet come hell or high water and they just might get
their sinful wish.
For an eagle-eye’d surf fan has run the numbers and… well
here.
Hey Chas,
I was just thinking about the GOAT’s retirement.
Let’s assume he gets wildcards to Tahiti and Cloudbreak. He
can definitely win one if not both those if it’s pumping.
Now, according to WSL rules. Ex champions accrue points
towards the ranking post cut even if they are wildcards.
If Kelly was to win one and do ok in the other, make 2 semis
for example, he would probably have enough points to secure a place
for next year right? If he places above the 22nd surfer.
Could we see Kelly rising from the ashes back from
retirement in three months?
He now sits with 3990 pints. 1 win and a semi would add
16085 points taking him to 20000. With only 2 more events besides
these it would be hard for the bottom surfers to secure more than
that.
Interesting.
Interesting is right.
Thoughts?
More as the story develops.
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Big-wave skimboarder Brad Domke becomes
face of breakthrough foldable surfboard brand!
By Derek Rielly
"The kickstarter is live! What are you doing?"
The big-wave skimboarder Brad Domke needs little to no
introduction, although some introduction may be necessary
if we wish to to cement his bona fides as the face of a new
foldable surfboard brand.
He rides Nazaré, Puerto
Escondido, Jaws and even the big
wave in Western Australia called The Right on his little disc.
Brad Domke became world-renowned for castrating his surfboard by
using it only to paddle into the wave before jumping onto his
fifty-three-inch, flat-rockered,
finless disc, an event that is difficult to remove
from your consciousness.
(Did you know Brad Domke only has one board? He rides the same
carbon-fibre aureole at Teahupoo as he does at
three-foot shorebreaks. Quivers? Who needs ’em?)
With four days to ago, and with sixty-five backers pledging
money, NIMBL has exceeded its modest 20k goal.
The foldable surfboard has long been the holy grail of the men
with slicked back hair who wish to chase waves but don’t want to
give up their little red coupes or former bodyboarders who miss
carrying their vehicles on their backs.
As far back as 1964, Karl Pope and Thomas Price registered a
patent for their foldable surfboard. The Bisect was “characterised
by its simplicity of construction and in its adaptability to
economical manufacture.”
An early version of the foldable
surfboard.
A couple of years later, Herman Bank launched his multi-board,
which was also known as the “suitcase surfboard”.
NIMBL, “is a no-brainer for both beginner and seasoned surfers
looking to keep a spare mid-length board in the car, ready for
any conditions. Now instead of meticulously securing boards on roof
racks, you can throw it in the trunk and spend more time surfing.
From driving to your local beach for an early morning sesh to
barreling in the most remote waters when the opportunity arises –
Epic trips are imminent with a board that is as on-the-go as you
are. Leave your worries behind with your board safely tucked away
in the trunk. NIMBL takes the
hassle out of surfing, anytime and anywhere.”
In the clip below, Brad Domke, who is the salaried face of
NIMBL, details its many advantages.
Domke’s fans aren’t sold, howevs.
Dude, you dominate but you know that’s gonna buckle under
any pressure
This is satire ?!?!?
You’re a few days early… this is an April Fools Joke,
right?
Kook stick.
To which Domke replies,
“I bring a foamie with me every time I head to the beach. And I
break them all quickly. And it cost me tons of $. I’ve always kept
in eye on what could be the next perfect all around foamie to ride
and do transfers with. As I’ve tried so many soft top brands. When
I found out about the NIMBL foldable fomie. I was instantly
interested knowing the board was already in half and rideable!
Which is the direction I am moving into having a one board does all
“surf/transfer” and the fact that it’s already in half and not
ending my sessions snapped and unusable like what ends up happening
to me time after time. @aethiaoutdoors
created this foamie before I had even met the company. After
meeting them I personally tested this foamie model out before
joining the team and seeing how well it works with this mechanism.
After testing and realizing it’s worked well I’m proud to join them
and help evolve this brand. But this surfboard particularly is
great for beginners and up who just want to get wet and get in the
water for a healthy surf however the conditions are. And it fold
up.s and it’s easy to store in the trunk/backseat or bring to the
beach with the back pack it comes with which lets you be hands free
on the way there. Which I personally love about it.”
Pod of narcissistic dolphins mars otherwise
perfect Margaret River Pro women’s final
By Chas Smith
Big time priority interference.
The World Surf League, yesterday, became
blessed for the first time in as long as its most ardent fan could
remember. Waiting periods stretched out to the bitter end has been
the rule for two years now? Three? Professional surfers forced to
battle for their supper in low quality waves offering little
natural scoring potential. Commentators done crazy by forcing to
pretend “critical” and “critical” mean the same thing.
But not yesterday.
For yesterday, the sun rose upon Margaret River’s main break and
the swells pulsed forth and professional surfers overlapped them to
the awe and amazement of the aforementioned ardent fan, who only
sometimes complained about it not being contested at a nearby
Box.
One them women’s side, Kauai’s Gabriela Bryan saved herself from
the cut, and beat San Clemente’s Sawyer Lindbald, hoisting the
golden wine goblet in triumph.
The only blackness marring an otherwise perfect ten hours came
when a group of narcissistic dolphins decided the time was right to
steal the world’s attention by committing priority interference on
Bryan’s second highest scoring wave.
CNN, which
bills itself “the first name in news,” breathlessly shared the
“magical moment” leaving the exploits of the long-suffering top
tier surfers all but on the cutting room floor. Fox News,
following, declared it a “postcard from heaven.”
Left unmentioned was the fact that Lindbald also avoided the
dreaded mid-season cut.
Potential ardent surf fans cooing at spotlight hogging cetaceans
instead of congratulating the ten women and twenty-two men who will
be allowed to professionally surf moving forward.