Uh oh.
Surf localism has been in steady decline over this past decade. Perpetual surveillance, ubiquitous smart phones, lawsuit-happy nerds, hate crimes being codified etc. have all conspired to keep the once fearsome beach enforcer proverbially handcuffed. Certain behavioralists have even suggested that paddling toughs will be fully extinct by 2029.
But not if Oxnard has something to say about it.
The burgh of just over 200,000, a handful of clicks north of Malibu, has long enjoyed a reputation for water violence. There was a time, not long ago, when Silver Strand was surfed exclusively by heavies. Teeth of interlopers punched out on the silver sand. Windshields well waxed.
“Laws” n crud have emboldened a new crop of adult learners, though, and there they drag their Wavestorms and changing mats from Irwindale and Victorville to places they shouldn’t.
Until now.
For now, after they surf, before they step on their changing mats, these aliens are being punched right in the mouth with a bold new sticker reminding “If you don’t live here, don’t surf here.”
Back to Sprinter vans they shuffle, quickly checking Zillow for Oxnard home values.
Regret for not pouncing on property back in 2018 overwhelming.
On that subject, what is your biggest regret of the last six years?
Get it off your chest amongst friends.
Waxed the side of 3 out of state van lifers surfing our oregon local during the pandemic closures.
An angry woman came outside the van as i was pulling away and banged on my windshield and grabbed my car door/hood as i was driving away. she slipped in the gravel and rolled her leg under my tire. I turned around and came back to check on her and the next 2 years of legal and civil trouble ensued.
Could never figure out why she didnt just take a picture of my plate? Probably cause shes a crazy floridian. Had florida plates. I should have known better.
Shitty situation. Could have lost the dream house wife and i were building and gone to jail. Instead i came out the other side with a class c graffiti misdemeanor and a 2 year insurance lawsuit where she got diddly.
Lot of street cred with the local coommunity though. Not worth it. A direct aggressive go home would have been less of a bitch move. It did thin the lineup of out of towners for a bit though.
Toilet paper hasn’t changed appreciably in my lifetime. It’s just paper on a cardboard roll. And in 10,000 years, it will still be exactly the same. Because really, what else can they do?
You know da Rulezzzz…
Pretty sure they make paper towels and toilet paper products there. Not exactly a top secret endeavor.
It wasn’t meant for your smartass since you live there teach.
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Kinnakeet, N.C.
The header photo looks like Danesss work. Ambivalent…
Could be a story there lads
A quick Google search would seem to indicate they operate a surf school from that location. Not just any surf school either. Nope. They specialize in correcting a shiity backside.
send their details to tati
Ha! Well-played
Oxtura. And Pt Mugu. North point. Rocket house. Toilet Bowl.
Maybe the only wave on southern california coast thats truly word class. And heavy.
Blacks?
They pop that sticker up after new range of “foldup” boards appear?
You must enjoy small, shitty close outs.
Oxnard doesn’t exist, this is all made up
Here I am, like a lonely dork.
Xox
thought you were setting the sheets on fire with younger lady in your band..
Oh mate I will ruin a good thing because I am still lamenting my past. I think that we both know it’s going to run its course.
Feels good to be getting some cardio though!!
Xox
This looks like its better than surfing
https://youtube.com/shorts/…
Hopefully it was a visiting surfer who won. After surfing the same beach where that sticker is located. 😆
Like it but would have to make the sign in french, spanish, german (and until recently Israeli) for around here
Could make it
“if you dont live here , dont shit in the carpaks and park your stinky van in the front row beach parks” cunts
Make it simple , if you live in a van or troopy fuck off to exmouth or Byron Bay where you belong.
I had a beautiful Swiss woman try to convince me to run away to Bordeaux with her. I stayed faithful to my partner who then dumped me a few years later.
I am the most loyal dickhead on Earth.
Xox
Bordeaux’nt tell me you didn’t still sample a bit of the Swiss cheese first though
I didn’t mate. I think my morals attracted her a lot too. She did her best. I am such a fucking idiot.
I am so sick of this life of regret.
I’m going animal.
Xox
person like that would’ve burned you like a cigarette the moment she proved to herself that she could have gotten past them morals. but those 1-3 weeks in bordeaux before that happened might have been epic
Nah mate, she is the real deal.
And I’m left to live this tortured existence!
Xox
took me until my mid 40s to run into the lass who truly opened my eyes to the full rainbow of possibilities, turning my heart and libido up several notches simultaneously … so don’t lose hope, bright days ahead!
Thanks for the hope mate. It’s truly appreciated.
Xox
Then she probly read your posts and was like, yikes!!
Haha I often wonder who frequents here to judge me.
Xox
Not guilty for me.
Did she take it in the arse though ?
She is a beautiful intelligent woman up for honest discussion so it probably wouldn’t be out of the question.
Xox
Its a given with gatas brasilieras, aint that right Dovakin?
It’s OK, she married a dickhead Frenchman with no morals who cheated on her and they have bratty children Xox
Worse, a personality lacking fellow Swiss dude, one child out of wedlock. Not impressed by him at all.
Xox
When i lived in Brasil the infidelity was pretty shocking to me and very cavalier to them.
At least you got a few years, I got fucked after the airport pick-up
Ouch. Thoughts and prayers brother.
Xox
Oxnard, a place as beautiful as its name. But seriously, localism worked beautifully, IMO. Here’s a pic at Topanga some years ago. https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
But Topanga is a longboard wave. Those sneaky locals!
Put signs on your border too sayin
If you dont suck cock you cant come in.
First time i heard about that place…
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…