Essential viewing.
An important part of surfing is, of course, getting undressed. Whether in warm climates where toplessness is required or cold where toplessness is a step from clothing to wetsuit, male surfers are forced to take off their shirts. Now, as happens, and especially with surfers, judgements of small details are both important and encouraged. Did the fellow standing nearby shave his chest, for example, and was it a good idea? Did the other fellow, showering off, drink too many beer? As the male surfer ages, these critical perceptions become even more nuanced and valuable.
Enter Tom Cruise.
The 61-year-old movie star is currently filming Mission Impossible 8 in Spain and went to the beach for a swim break thereby jettisoning his blouse.
Fox News described his “toned abs.”
Page Six opted for “chiseled physique.”
New York Post went with “ripped abs and strong muscles.”
While Daily Mail went hard rude, commenting on his “sagging” skin and openly posited that the Top Gun hero had undergone some sort of cosmetic surgery.
And, thus, your expertise is required. If you saw a topless Tom Cruise next to you in the car park, what would you immediately think?
Essential.
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https://www.youtube.com/wat…
Obese
He looks shit – inside and out.
DJ Paul Fisher, Kalani Robb, fuck, even Slats and Grandpa Mike Ho all look better.
rather be tall with a bit of belly than small with little bits.
when you go to the barbers do you bag up the hair and glue patches to the “shaven/waxed” so you feel like ya’ in the wild?
Get that dangler into something sturdy mate. I wouldn’t wish a cut-price faux wicker shard death on anyone.
Cum Truise sucks.
Soggy rich cunt.
https://youtu.be/M-kIQe2LP7…
How wonderful. Looks like the perfect setup for sitting-out Tahiti lay days.
Well they do say to write about what you know…
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
I’d ask him if he’s ever heard of Com Truise
He’s got nothing on Jordy’s nip nips. Now those are some nips.
I would approach him, offer a cold can of lager and ask if he actually believes Hubbard’s Scientology tales, or if he’s in it for ‘Hollywood’ reasons.
Then I’d offer him a roast beef sandwich and ask if he’d ever considered being a Mormon, seeing as they too have some crazy nutbag beliefs.
After an enjoyable chat about recently invented religions I’d ask if he thought the new portrait of King Charles looked eerily like the big kinda devil painting that came to life in Ghostbusters 2…
would love to share a cold lager for this convo …
Isn’t it said that the Scientologists have some expose tape of him from early in his career that if it ever aired would ruin him?
some of the stuff lil’ tom has done is beyond DR’s imagination….and Tom’s a saint compared to Travolta, a right sick pig.
“You are like the buzzing of flies to him!”
oh the things I could tell you about Tommy.
Dangling wicker-esque papeson chairs are the Russian Bride of the furniture market. Well done – they have very little data on you.
Fuck clicking that link’s going to send my Temu recommendations into a spin
He’s a short cunt?
Low to the ground
Slow new day Chas?
Just curious!
If I saw this at the car park…I would give an equal think to DK and Dogsnuts.
what if you shave your hyna’s chest?
Seems uncomfortable.
I would look at him, and think the following:
1. He actually does some sick stunt work.
2. I wonder if Xenu mounts him, or if he’s a lap doll!?
3. He’s on the epstein list, so i know he’s a pedo