A hellscape like no other.
I have just arrived home, at the ballet studio in San Diego’s Kearny Mesa, after a 2000 mile journey over 2.75 days. Beginning in Nashville, Tennessee, in the trusty Volkswagen that brought me to Vanderbilt some two years ago, I retraced steps to Oklahoma City, Oklahoma then pushed past Albuquerque, New Mexico to Gallup before ending here. I passed through Arkansas, Texas and Arizona only stopping for gasoline and sundries.
Along the way, I have reached the definitive scientific conclusion that California drivers are the worst in the entire nation. In Tennessee, Arkansas, Oklahoma, Texas, New Mexico and even Arizona (though things start to go very wrong in the Grand Canyon State), slow drivers will generally stick to the slow (right) lane, only venturing left to pass. Sometimes, as happens to all of us, a driver will drift left and become preoccupied though dart right when run up on. Semi-trucks (or tractor trailers/big rigs depending on preferred vernacular) are a clear danger, in these states, deriving clear pleasure from passing each other as slow as possible and sometimes shooting retread tires at cars though they are all likely methamphetamine addicted and best to ignore.
Once in California, however, all hell breaks loose. Drivers will plant in the leftmost lane driving 20 mph under the speed limit for no obvious reason and will absolutely not move not matter how close another car gets to tail. Others, enjoying social media on their phones, will slow to the slowest speeds before jerking faster. Many are terrified, gripping the wheel with both hands while also going slow. Everyone is absolutely, ridiculously selfish. Driving exactly how they want simply because it is exactly how they want.
It is a hellscape the Golden State’s surfers must regularly negotiate and while annoying in the moment, becomes absolutely enraging when comparing it to drivers in disgraced former World Surf League Erik Logan’s home.
What then to do?
How to teach freeway lessons from San Diego to San Francisco?
All suggestions welcome.
The Californian generally speaking of course is the sickest, most self absorbed, selfish person likely on this entire planet. That is just a fact. We know this. They are also painfully unaware compounding the viscous cali-me me me, everyone please look at me, fuck everyone else cycle. I myself am a Socal refugee living in a much saner part of the Golden State. For obvious reasons I can’t share that info here. California=nice weather,the people mostly suck.
South african drivers are the worst.
Road rules are just mere suggestions.
However, the good thing is that everyone drives at least 20kph over the speed limit.
“Had to pull U-ey on the pike cuz I missed my exit for Dunkin’”
Such an epic movie
New Jersey drivers used to be the absolute worst.
So bad that they wouldn’t let them make left turns in their home state.
Now I’m convinced it’s anyone driving on the Van Wycke between LaGuardia and JFK.
Especially after 10pm.
easy fix. buy a big ass truck with an air horn and a giant dia de los muertos sticker on the hood and tailgate.
roll up on people in the fast lane, hit your high beams and blast the air horn.
they’ll move over.
don’t even look at em as you go by….and make sure to be wearing a black hoodie.
“Surf Journalist”? Is that an oxymoron? Surfers….not the brightest lights in the harbor. 😂
If you have to ask the question, maybe you’re a surfer
Virtually 95% of the accidents around here involve a driver who is either driving on a suspended license or never had one. These are the monthly LASD stats. Remember the Kaitlyn Jenner accident on PCH in Malibu a few years ago? Four cars involved, one death, and only Jenner had a valid license. Impound the fucking cars forever or at least till a suspension is over and the problem improves significantly. Give the cars back and the shitheads will get back on the road.
I say with a high degree of confidence that they have nothing on Singapore drivers, particularly the trucks with fabric curtains across the driver’s and passenger’s side windows who will run you into the lane divider at every t intersection. Driving in LA was stressful but nothing compared to the chaotic shitshow that is the Singaporean roads.
Seriously?
I’ve never been in traffic in Singapore let alone seen anyone drive aggressively.
Crossing the border into JB is a different story…
Yep, constant swerving in and out of traffic, never indicate, never check before changing lanes, totally unpredictable, not uncommon for traffic to speed up to prevent you merging into a lane, the busses have a licence to commit homicide. The increasing fatalities is why they are activating the speed camera function in the red light cameras.
Drive in Mass and you will discover true intellectual disability behind the wheel.
But you guys have guns
Heaps of guns . Can’t they solve the problem?
This is Sammy Hagar’s fault. Now no one can drive 55.
It’s true. Ive tried to write some jokes about it. How the lanes reverse in California. The right lanes are the fast lanes and the left lanes are the slow lanes.
Also every California license comes with a free Tesla up your butt.
Goebels and Fam got it figured.
“On a German Autobahn, it is not only a recommendation, he said, it is a law to drive in the right lane whenever possible. To pass a slower car, a driver has to change to the left lane. It is forbidden to pass cars on the right side. If a driver infringes this rule and the German Polizei sees that, a fine of up to 450 euros might be imposed. The only exceptions to the rule are getting on the Autobahn, exiting it or being stuck in a traffic jam.“
Ive driven in the fatherland and the stink eye one will get from passing in the right lane will curse your unborn children.
For any of cunts who dont know what a euro is, its a thing that buys you less but comes with free health care. Aussie bills look slickest. US bills are meh and after lot of usage feel like toilet paper. Cant get over that.
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Didn’t read the article, but Audi drivers are the WORST
Prius
The slowest drivers of all buy gold cars… mark my words. Nearly every log jam on the freeway has a gold car at the front it.
1974 – 9 year old rmatic – road trip up the Oz east coast – VW station wagon – Dad driving drunk out of his mind, perfectly legal – Mum, Dad, four kids – fucking Six of us in a VW, Sleeping in the car – Drive up to Cairns. worst flood ever. Dad getting out of the car periodically to check depth with his body, Thought we were watching him die every time.
Dad was a proper fucking criminal, but he did some good things.
Telling the story today coz he did good that trip – wouldn’t trade it for anything.
Bravo to dad!
awful human but
Someone must really love that car.
I do now. She’s a li’l champ! A 2012 and I can’t see myself getting rid of her.
Things open up more north of the Bay Area. Had to drive to Willits twice a week for a few months and you can fly up there in the emerald triangle.
Edit: Being stuck behind clueless tourists on highway one that will not pull over to let a line of ten cars go by is the worst.
Were you drug running?
I spent a week in a roadside hotel in Willits one night
lol. Small town for sure.
Great McDonalds if memory serves me correctly lol
Victoria is absolutely terrible also. Remember when people would move over a touch before turning. Nup. Every other polite nuance also gone.
Xox
How about the no blinker, slow down, without moving over? There is a special place in hell for those people.
Wankers. The lot of them!!
Xox
Same as Queensland drivers. As soon as you cross the border from NSW, all respect for the overtaking lane is lost.