“I waited a long time to get married. I wanted to make sure I had truly found my person."

In one of the sweeter stories on a day where the explosive thuds are still being heard from the Trump show trial in New York, the big-wave world champ Keala Kennelly has wedded long-time girlfriend Nadia Caldarella in a ceremony in Santorini, Greece. 

Keala Kennelly, the forty-five-year-old big-waver who showed Pipe and Teahupoo could be surfed by gals married graphic designer and editor Nadia Caldarella who is also “a professional and compassionate pet sitter…who… specializes in animals with anxiety and seniors who need patience and care” . The pair shared photos of the barefoot, all-white wedding overlooking the deep blue Aegean Sea. 

“I waited a long time to get married,” wrote Keala Kennelly. “I wanted to make sure I had truly found my person. With you @nadiaclicks there is no doubt.”

 

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A post shared by Keala Kennelly (@kealakennelly)

Many good wishes followed including from Blue Crush star Kate Bosworth whose character in the film, Annmarie, eyes Keala, who plays herself, enviously as she fills up the gas in her jet skis and signs autographs for fans.

Last year, Kauai-born Keala revealed to People magazine that playing straight on tour nearly killed her and that she was riddled with self-hate for being gay.

“I had just all this internalized homophobia and self-hatred for being gay,” Kennelly said.

“I was living this double life because on tour, I was pretending to be straight. I’m just a really honest person, I’m a really genuine, authentic person. So, to feel like I was living this lie was just crushing my soul and after so many years of that, it was just, ‘I can’t do this anymore, this is actually going to kill me if I can’t live my truth.’ It got to a point where I didn’t care what the cost was, I couldn’t live like this.”

Kennelly said that it was “not okay to be a lesbian” and that if you did prefer shaved babylike snatches to rock-and-cock Tom Selleck lookalikes it was “career suicide.”

“So when I got on the tour, I was so freaking nervous because I inherently knew I was gay. So, I was absolutely terrified and I spent the majority of my time on the pro circuit in the closet and just completely terrified to come out — completely terrified to get outed, that I was going to lose my sponsors.”

In 2005, when Kennelly, aged twenty-seven,  eventually came out she “faced a wave of homophobia from companies and other surfers that eventually led her to leave the sport… I actually quit the tour shortly after I came out because I couldn’t handle mentally and emotionally what that was like. Then I had a few sponsors drop me and so, that was just more confirmation that it wasn’t okay. I left the tour because, emotionally and mentally, I just couldn’t handle it.”

All’s well that ends well, etc.

He ain't  gonna win, so why go?

The byzantine selection process for the 2024 Paris Olympic Games, slammed as “colossal failure” after Filipe Toledo was selected for Team Brazil over Gabriel Medina and Italo Ferreira, has, again, come under scrutiny following Italo’s win at the Tahiti Pro earlier today. 

In perfect six-to-ten-foot surf, 2019 world champ Italo Ferreira mowed through an on-fire Ramzi Boukhiam, fellow Brazilian Yago Dora and contest favourite John John Florence to win the prestigious event. 

In the starkest of contrast, one week ago Filipe Toledo, whose zero point heat total at Teahupoo and failure to score a meaningful wave in a heat against Kelly Slater and Nathan Hedge in 2022, is the stuff of legend, posted footage of an incomplete tube ride on a four-foot wave.

“Quick trip to Teahupoo with Team Brazil,” wrote an upbeat Toledo, failing to mention his grave disappointment at split town before the arrival of a ten-foot swell, which was enjoyed by teenagers and girls alike, as well as yesterday and today’s pits. 

Toledo, you’ll remember, quit the tour earlier this year after the tour opener at Pipeline. After an embarrassing 1.77 heat total in perfect six-foot barrels, Toledo withdrew from the event citing an unspecified illness.

Soon after, he withdrew from the tour entirely. 

Despite a third place in small surf at Teahupoo, Filipe Toledo remains unsuited to a wave whose code has now been accessed by half a dozen of the women surfers on tour. 

“Everybody’s scared of this wave, they just don’t talk about it,” he told the Australian press in 2023. “We just man up and try not to show any weakness with it. Of course there’s people who deal with the fear a lot better. There’s guys who have been surfing these waves their whole life and they know that feeling and how to control it a lot better.

“You have to be smart about it too. There are risks when you surf this wave and when you’ve already qualified for the finals, you think about these things.”

On any sort of level, it makes considerable sense for Filipe Toledo to shuck his Olympic spot for Italo Ferreira, a switcharoo that benefits both men. Italo gets to defend his gold medal and Filipe is saved the mind-fuck of melting down in front of a worldwide audience. 

He ain’t  gonna win, so why go?

In an ironic twist, it was against Ferreira in 2015 where Toledo suffered the ignominy of becoming one of only two surfers in pro surfing history to paddle in from a heat without a wave being caught. 

“Fail-wise, it was just beyond epic,” the surfing historian Matt Warshaw told BeachGrit. “And so very public… Filipe’s deal is un-spinnable. He isn’t ready for prime time at Teahupoo… I’m his biggest north-of-50 fan, and I feel sort of crushed by what I saw.” 

I see three options for Filipe.

He hands his ticket to Italo and is lauded for his patriotism, kindness etc. He charges. Or he goes, prays for no swell, and somehow, hopefully, slinks away from the Olympics with whatever is left of his reputation. 

Tell me: you’re Filipe Toledo. What do you do?