Caroline Marks in Ralph Lauren for Paris 2024
World champ Caroline Marks in Ralph Lauren for Paris 2024.

Surf Olympian Caroline Marks reveals jaw-dropping Ralph Lauren outfits for Paris 2024

Come for the billionaire astronaut look!

Whenever I start to feel like the US has slipped its mooring for good all I gotta do is look at what it does better than anyone else to restore my faith in the great empire’s ability to invent, entertain and innovate.

And there ain’t a country on earth that turns out its Olympic athletes better than superstar Jewish designer Ralph Lauren.

Ol Ralphy-boy, who turns eighty-five this year, has again brought out the WASP fantasy for the opening ceremony outfit, navy blazer, faded denim, white bucks.

“Proud to partner with @RalphLauren, one of the official outfitters of #TeamUSA in the unveil of @PoloRalphLauren’s iconic Opening and Closing Ceremony Uniforms for the upcoming Paris 2024 Games,” writes world champ Caroline Marks.


View this post on Instagram


A post shared by Caroline Marks (@caroline_markss)

The last time Ralph brought out the blue blazers was in Tokyo 2020 when the look was ridiculed on social media for its conservative details and for the, y’know, lack of diversity etc.

A typical comment: “Ralph Lauren misses way more often than he hits with the Olympic clothing – how long must we suffer with this white person on Nantucket clothing line for our Olympics brand. Like, can we choose something that more closely represents the diversity of America and our athletes?”

This year, howevs, even the detractors couldn’t help but give a wry little nod to Ralph Lauren’s ability to mix business with party.

Paralympic swimmer Jamal Hill beautifully described Lauren’s casual uniforms of a periwinkle blue bomber jacket festooned with patches as the “billionaire astronaut” look.

What’s not to love etc.



The Inertia founder Zach Weisberg (pictured) delivering his "editor's note."
The Inertia founder Zach Weisberg (pictured) delivering his "editor's note."

Scandal prone surf website The Inertia forced to post disclaimer on story following sale to publishing giant

The death of fierce independence.

Almost one year ago, to the day, surf fans were shocked after surf adjacent website The Inertia was sold to publishing giant AllGear Digitals for a deal worth reported millions.

“Building The Inertia has been one of the most rewarding journeys I can imagine,” founder Zach Weisberg, a Virginia Beach surfer who was inspired to launch what would become the template for the vulnerable adult learner tsunami, said at the time. “Since day one, we’ve committed to forging great relationships, sharing valuable stories from unique perspectives in a culture we love, and challenging ourselves to embrace new opportunities.”

The aforementioned surf fans, though, worried if “corporate culture” would invade the fierce independence for which The Inertia was known.

It now appears those fears were justified.

Days ago, the “definitive voice of the outdoors” posted the think piece “Surf Fan Who Wanted Important Contest Held at Big Barreling Left Angry It’s Being Held at Big Barreling Left” wherein “die hard surf fan” Nick Ramos was quoted reacting to the World Surf League moving Finals Day from Lower Trestles to Cloudbreak.

“If I didn’t find a way to be unhappy with the current circumstance then I’d have to sit and enjoy them,” he said. “Sure, they met my personal demands. And I do feel entitled to having my exact view of what’s best for professional surfing validated. But what these corporate kooks don’t get is that a surf fan’s job — the job of a true core surfer — is to live in a state of discontent no matter what.”

While The Inertia’s involuntarily celibate readership enjoyed the scathing wit to which they’d become accustomed, they were left gasping for air at the end when arriving at a disclaimer.

Editor’s Note: If you didn’t figure out this was satire within the first few sentences, shoot us a note and we’ll immediately reply with a response making fun of you.

While also flashing a devil-may-care ethos, it does present a very slippery slope and might hint at AllGear’s meddling. Of course, The Inertia is scandal prone but that’s what makes it so savage.

Dark days, in any case, for a free press.

Australian surfers (pictured) doing economy.

New study rocks conventional wisdom as surfers revealed to float Australian economy

"Using data from the Australian Sports Commission, which shows there are more than 720,000 active adult Australian surfers..."

“Money can buy material things, but real happiness must be truly earned,” proto-hippe Jean-Jacques Rousseau wrote back in 1750 and the sentiment has since been baked into fact. It is assumed that the likes of Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck with their multi-millions and gigantic homes are miserable and, frankly, it seems thus.

Well, in an absolute shock to grumpy locals, the largest study of its kind found that surfing increases happiness, at least in the United Kingdom.

“I’m always smiling, and the joy I feel for the rest of the day after being at The Wave has made me a much nicer person to be around according to my wife,” one Welshman told researchers. “To say (surfing) has changed my later life is an understatement,” a Scot added.

Now, in a striking Commonwealth connection, it has been revealed that Australian surfers inject wads of cash into the economy each and every year.


The researchers found surfing injects almost $3 billion into the Australian economy each year. The research is published in Marine Policy. Co-authors Asad Yusoff from ANU and Mark Lane and Katja Verreydt from Surfing WA contributed to the findings.

“We asked participants how much they spent on domestic travel and how often they’d traveled to go surfing during the last 12 months, but also how much they spent on new boards, wetsuits and other surf-related accessories,” survey lead Dr. Ana Manero, from ANU, said.

“Our research shows adult surfers spend more than $3,700 per person, each year.

“Using data from the Australian Sports Commission, which shows there are more than 720,000 active adult Australian surfers, we found that surfing injects at least $2.71 billion into the economy each year.

“This is a conversative figure at best because it doesn’t factor in overseas visitors who travel to Australia to go surfing or money generated through professional surfing.”

So, if money buys surfing and surfing equals happiness then Jean-Jacques Rousseau has finally been dubbed a hack.

Viva la revolution.

Israeli surfer in national dress parades in Male, capital of Maldives.
Israeli surfer in national dress parades in Male, capital of Maldives.

Maldives ban on Israeli surfers backfires after Jewish apartheid state revealed to be home for two million Muslims

“The biggest concern is that there are many Palestinians with Israeli passports, millions of them. What happens when we impose the blanket ban on them?”

In a not-so-surprising move last October, Maldivian surfers called for an immediate ban on Israelis following Hamas’ butchering of 1200 Jewish civilians. 

Barely had the limbs of the slaughtered stopped twitching before an open letter was posted by the Maldives Bodyboarding Association. 

“Maldives Bodyboarding Association and the entire surf community strongly condemn and demand an end to the inhumane and unjust actions carried out by Israel against Palestinians.

“We request that the Maldivian government enforce a ban on the entry of Israelis to the Maldives. We also ask the government to continue any efforts aimed at stopping the inhumane actions of Israel and showing solidarity with the Palestinians. We call on the Maldivian government to assist the Palestinians in any way they can.”

The response was, uniformly, positive. 

“Maldives has always been a favorite destination to us Arabs, now even more. Thank you for this noble, humanitarian stance.”

“The life you stole and land you annexed from Palestinians ILLEGALLY. Live what’s left of your stolen land and life because the Palestinian cause only grows stronger, and you will be held accountable.”

The Maldives was one of the few Muslim countries that let the Jew in, Israel being one of the first countries in the world to recognise the little state when it shucked British rule in 1965.

That don’t mean it isn’t hardline.

The Maldives bans any public practice of any religion other than Islam and if you ain’t Muslim, you can’t be a citizen.

When ISIS was still big news, the Maldives gained “prominence as a haven for jihadist recruitment” as locals streamed into Iraq and Syria to join the big boys of the Jihadist game.

(Read, Losing a Paradise to Terrorism.)

After the glorious, religion-fuelled butchery of October 7, the government of the Maldives came under terrific pressure to ban Israelis. 

It took a little while but just as the ban was going to take effect the attorney general went, uh oh, what about the Arab-Israelis? 

“The biggest concern is that there are many Palestinians with Israeli passports, millions of them. What happens when we impose the blanket ban on them?”

Y’see, around two-million, or almost a quarter of the Jewish state is Arab, most of sunni Muslims and most of ‘em Israeli citizens. 

Anyway, if you think the Maldives is a benign paradise, yeah, well, no.

A few years back the New York Times reported, 

This island paradise made news recently for a reason other than its pristine beaches and high-end resorts: the gruesome killing of a liberal blogger, stabbed to death by multiple assailants.

“The killing in April of Yameen Rasheed, 29, a strong voice against growing Islamic radicalization, has amplified safety concerns — particularly for foreign tourists, a highly vulnerable group and one that the islands’ economy depends on. It is no idle threat, in a country that by some accounts supplies the world’s highest per-capita number of foreign fighters to extremist outfits in Syria and Iraq.

“Security experts say many resorts are ill equipped to fend off an attack on par with those that have occurred in places like Tunisia and Bali, Indonesia.”

UK surfer (pictured) happy (for now).
UK surfer (pictured) happy (for now).

Biggest survey in over a decade finds surfing leads to increased happiness

"The joy I feel for the rest of the day after being at The Wave has made me a much nicer person..."

Now, our JP Currie might seem a little gruff sometimes but science has just proved that a happy light is actually glowing in his Scottish heart. Yes, the largest study of surfing and its relationship to mental health has just been conducted in his United Kingdom. The partnership between the University of Bristol and The Wave, also in Bristol, chatted with 1350 souls about their wave sliding and found “a positive relationship between increased frequency of surfing and better mental wellbeing.”

While longtime surfers, likely including Currie, cast doubt upon those 1350 kooks, late adopters gushed, “I’m always smiling, and the joy I feel for the rest of the day after being at The Wave has made me a much nicer person to be around according to my wife.” And “To say (surfing) has changed my later life is an understatement.”


The study found that the biggest barriers to the wellspring of surfing joy were “the weather, work and study commitments, travel time, and pollution.” Dr Joey Murphy, a lecturer in physical activity and public health at the University of Bristol, told the BBC, “The data clearly indicates that making surfing accessible to more people has the potential to support both population health and the UK economy.”

Little does Dr. Murphy know that more surfers coming into this pastime of kings will almost instantly snuff out the glowing happy light and replace it with hatred and ice.


But hold on… “the joy I feel for the rest of the day after being at The Wave has made me a much nicer person…”?

This seems like real sweet advertisement for artificial surf tanks. Like, too sweet. Wait until Kelly Slater gets his hands on this fake science.