Mikey Wright (pictured) after working hours.
Mikey Wright (pictured) after working hours.

Australian surfers rejoice after country adopts rule allowing them to ignore bosses!

The glorious work-life balance.

The United States of America is, let’s be frank, decidedly not a workers’ paradise. The employed in this land of the free, home of the brave are expected to slave long hours without rest and then are at beck and call of bosses after hours if something goes sideways. It’s the wages of capitalism, I suppose, and you can imagine the envy US surfers have in eyes when peering across the Pacific at communist Australian brothers and sisters.

The Lucky Country, hours ago, passed a landmark “right to disconnect” rule wherein surfers can tell their bosses to kick rocks if contacted after hours.

According to the BBC, the law does not prohibit the aforementioned big cheeses from contacting their charges but does give the latter the right to not answer and/or obey if the request is “not reasonable,” a phrase which will be defined on a case-by-case basis by Australia’s Fair Work Commission.

Failure to comply, and/or failure to do reasonable work, leads to a hefty fine.

Australia’s Council of Trade Unions proudly declared the new standard “will empower workers to refuse unreasonable out-of-hours work contact and enabling greater work-life balance.”

John Hopkins, from Swinburne University of Technology, added, “Any organisation that has staff who have better rest and who have better work-life-balance are going to have staff who are less likely to have sick days, less likely to leave the organisation.”

But do you think John Hopkins wishes he attended John Hopkins University instead?

Likely.

Back to the issue at hand, though, “work-life balance.” How often have you heard/read this phrase lately? Any concept that gets this much heat very soon transforms into utter nonsense. I feel we’re already there with “work-life balance.”

David Brennan, an Australian in the financial industry, bucked the trend and openly said, “I think it’s an excellent idea. I hope it catches on. I doubt it’ll catch on in our industry, to tell the truth though. We’re well paid, we’re expected to deliver, and we feel we have to deliver 24 hours a day.”

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Nias (pictured) pretending to be inviting. Photo: Indo Surf
Nias (pictured) pretending to be inviting. Photo: Indo Surf

New documentary showcases how surf colonialism, sex, drugs and “dark magic” killed Nias

"People went mysteriously missing and some died suddenly abroad..."

Nias. The very name conjures wild visions in the head of any surfer who came of age in the before times*. That freightraining right, tall and square, ripping through Lagundri Bay framed by an impossibly verdant backdrop. That very picture of surf perfections. Located in some 12o km from the Indonesian mainland, Nias is a large barrier island once colonized by the Dutch before slipping into historical footnotes after World War II. Australian surfers Kevin Lovett and John Giesel, joined by Peter Troy, stumbled upon the gem in 1975 and herein lies a modern story of greed, power and the all too familiar story of surf paradises lost.

A new documentary, Point of Change, by filmmaker Rebecca Coley explores what happens when surfers start being polite and start getting real. Per The Guardian’s review:

Word got out to the surfing community about Nias’ idyllic charms, and soon led to boatloads of tourists, pollution and a local populace all too eager to profit from the visitors’ appetites for drugs, alcohol and sex. Geisel, Lovett and others developed malaria. People went mysteriously missing and some died suddenly abroad, suggesting dark forces at work; these were talked of by the locals who believed in shamanism and the presence of dark magic.

Surfers, man. Can’t take them anywhere.

Coley focuses on the dark magic bits, apparently, not writing off evil spirits at play. The Guardian, classically science-based, declares the director “rather indulges this woo-woo mysticism making Point of Change both a bit creepier and sillier at the same time” thus knocking two stars off the rating.

What are your thoughts about that?

I once went deep down a Bolivian silver mine and there was a devil down there whom miners offered cigarettes and coca leaves. He was very creepy and also, I guess, a little silly. But more creepy, certainly.

Examine trailer for Nias doco here.

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Waterman of the Year Nathan Florence almost killed in “extremely violent” South American wipe-out.

“Am I confused or did he not pop up?”

În a terrifyingly frank confession just released, Nathan Florence, Dirk and Natasha Ziff’s successor as Waterman of the Year as determined by the good burghers of the Surf Industry Manufacturers Association, has admitted he nearly died in Brazil after attempting to surf a wave almost seventeen storeys high and breaking in three feet of water.

A wave that kills for malice and for sport.

The usually low-key Florence, who is a thirty-year-old Gemini and married to the daughter of Hawaiian muscle god Kai Garcia aka Kaiborg, described the wipeout as “extremely violent. It was one of those waves when you realise you’re falling and you’re worried about what’s about to happen. I got really lucky. Had I slammed the rocks in front of the wave, had I slammed into those and then got pulled over into the other rocks, it would’ve been game over. Just the speed I was travelling underwater.”

As unflappable, or as nihilistic, as ever, Nathan Florence added brightly, “But I didn’t! So I got really fortunate! And now I think the plan is to do some paddling today.”

Yesterday I wrote that Nathan Florence had “conquered” the Shock Slab, near Rio, but in truth, the wave nearly conquered him. (Watch wipeout and back story here.)

Today, in part two, which includes Florence’s near-death story, he throws himself back into the fray, this time paddling the joint. Also in the mix is the Italian Niccolo Porcella whom you may remember from a terrific wipeout at Teahupoo a while back. When he attempts the same manoeuvre at the Shock Slab, he is gone for many seconds.

“Am I confused or did he not pop up?” says Nathan Florence’s wife Mahina.

It’s a video that will take a hammerlock on your emotions.

Powerful and undeniably essential.

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Tulsi Gabbard (pictured in orange) as a The Inertia darling.
Tulsi Gabbard (pictured in orange) as a The Inertia darling.

Ultra-progressive surf publication smashes panic button after one-time darling Tulsi Gabbard endorses Trump for prez!

"We as Americans must stand together to reject this anti-freedom culture of political retaliation and abuse of power."

Oh to be The Inertia, to know that every position taken is the right one, or rather the left one, but profoundly correct. After basing itself on the sloppily liberal Huffington Post, founder Zach Weisberg has continued the brave tradition of pearl-clutching outrage, progressive tail wagging and never, not ever, entertaining the dark side.

You can imagine the horror in the “definitive voice of surf” home offices today after one-time darling Tulsi Gabbard officially endorsed Donald J. Trump for president.

The former Democratic representative from the State of Hawaii was instantly embraced by The Inertia as the “surfing congresswoman who could actually save our environment” and invited as keynote speaker of the soy-heavy EVOLVE summit that promised to “unite the brightest minds in surf and outdoors.”

Gabbard capped off an certainly incredibly weekend, back in 2018, featuring Selema Masekela, the aforementioned Weisberg and the WSL’s Reece Pacheco.

Interns busily scrubbing the internet, then, after Gabbard grabbed the mic at the National Guard conference, today, to declare, “We as Americans must stand together to reject this anti-freedom culture of political retaliation and abuse of power. We can’t allow our country to be destroyed by politicians who will put their own power ahead of the interests of the American people, our freedom, and our future. I am proud to stand here before you today, whether you’re a Democrat, a Republican or an Independent. If you love our country, as I do, if you cherish peace and freedom as we do, I invite you to join me in doing all that we can to save our country and elect President Donald J. Trump and send him back to the White House to do the tough work of saving our country and serving the people.”

Zach Weisberg currently in the fetal position in his home office.

Asking his little statue of Jimmy Kimmel where it all went wrong.

More as the story develops.

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Open Thread: Comment Live on Rip Curl Padang Padang Cup Finals Day!

Indonesia vs. the world.

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