The world’s winningest surfer, Kelly Slater,
has kept himself out of the spotlight for the longest congruent
stretch in a storied career. The 11x champion was not in the booth
at Lower Trestles when the World Surf League concluded its 2024
season. He is not in Abu Dhabi for the upcoming historic Longboard
Classic. He has not openly chatted with his good friends Joe Rogan,
Robert F. Kennedy Jr., Charlie Goldsmith or Jack Johnson.
Surf fans, becoming increasingly worried, were, therefore,
relieved today when the ageless 57-year reemerged and as
provocative as ever.
Slater made public for the release of his brand new surfboard
model the FRK SWALLOW.
“We’ve been kind of talking about doing this for a while,” the
multi-hyphenate surfer declared in discussing the latest in his FRK
and FRK+ surfboard model series designed with shaper Dan Mann.
“Aesthetically, I think [the FRK SWALLOW] looks great. I would
probably ride this up to about 5 foot.”
Now, the FRK, even missing its vowels, could not be more spicy
in light of the too-hot-to-handle allegations swirling around P.
Diddy. The disgraced music mogul was arrested, recently, and
charged with sex trafficking, amongst other crimes. His “freak offs,” heretofore
hidden, the stuff of dark legend that might gobble up celebrities’
reputations for the foreseeable future.
The question, I suppose: Did Slater time the release of his
surfboard model for maximum provocation?
FRK SWALLOW.
It really seems like it.
Master scene stealer.
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"For all the effort, I’m not sure the film
reveals all that much about these guys. Griff has ridiculous
energy. Seth is just happy to be there. Ethan’s the most
interesting character to me, mostly for what he doesn’t tell us.
For all the miles he travels and all the good waves he surfs in
this film, he looks happiest standing on the beach at home alone
with his dog. There’s a story there, but not one he’s willing to
tell us."
Ghost of dead surf icon Andy Irons haunts
big-budget Billabong film Trilogy: Next Wave
"It’s set up to be a buddy film, but like an
unconsummated marriage, it never gets there."
As you no doubt know, it is very flat in
California. You are probably hoping that there will be
waves in California soon, so that you no longer have to hear about
how flat it is. But if there’s one thing we’re good at here, it’s
complaining. There’s always something.
The flat spell has sent us all on desperate searches for
diversion. Laundry, scraping wax, organizing our fins, learning how
to wrap our leashes around our boards — there is just so many
things to do, and none of them is as fun as surfing. Dammit.
So it was that yesterday, I sat in my comfiest chair and I
watched, back to back, the original Trilogy and the newly released
Trilogy: New Wave.
It got me thinking. If this flat spell continues long enough,
could I watch the entire Taylor Steele oeuvre? Could I make it
through all of Modern Collective era Kai Neville? Really, I hope I
do not have to find out.
A Taylor Steele joint sponsored by Billabong, the original
Trilogy released in 2007, when boardshorts were extremely long and
Caity Simmers was two years old. I’m not sure what was going on
with the boardshorts in that era, honestly. Apparently, men were
very worried about their knees.
The Trilogy concept was pretty simple. Three surfers: Andy
Irons, Joel Parkinson, and Taj Burrow. Good waves. Music that was…
I guess good for the time? I’m not sure. A smattering of interview
material. Some party people B-roll. The film clocks in at a snappy
35ish minutes, manageable even for my microscopic attention
span.
Watching an old surf film feels like stepping into a time
machine. There they are, trying to show us what’s cool and what
good surfing looks like. In the absence of social media, it must
have felt intoxicating. So much authority! So much
responsibility!
So much money. It’s wild to sit here in 2024 and see just how
much money there was to make surf media in olden times. The credits
list on Trilogy is lengthy. So very many people, getting paid for
surfing. How quaint.
In pure surfing terms, Trilogy feels like one of the last of the
turns and barrels films. It’s nearly the closing act for a cohort
of surfers; Andy and Taj are close to 30 when it releases. Modern
Collective’s air fest is just two years away.
Out of all of it, the Andy sections still bang. His surfing had
that extra magic that gives it a timeless quality. There is so much
style in every turn — and that inexpressible something the best
surfers have and that I always feel awkward and stupid trying to
put into words. You know what it looks like. We all do.
I’ve been hearing about Trilogy: New Wave for what feels like
forever. I can almost picture the meeting around the conference
table there at Billabong when they decided to do the remake. I’m
sure there’s a whole Behind the Music-style podcast episode on the
making of this film. Certainly, a big-budget surf film in the era
of social media feels like a quixotic endeavor.
The premise is simple. Take three surfers from the present
generation: Griff Colapinto, Ethan Ewing, and Seth Moniz. Send them
on trips to good waves. Add music. Do some interviews. Use the
latest whizbang digital camera technology. Presto! A fabulous
blockbuster surf film.
When I sit down to watch it, I notice that Trilogy: New Wave
runs over an hour. Well. This better be worth it.
There’s a slow motion, black and white credit sequence. Every
crystalline water drop shines like a shard of glass. Viewed from
above, Ethan twists and writhes in the chaos. It’s beautiful in
that dizzying high-resolution that modern, digital video cameras
create. I liked it. I liked it less when I realized it’s repeated
throughout the film. Oops.
The surfing is good, of course. Ethan has that clean powerful
style, that’s extremely watchable. He also does far more airs than
I ever expected. Griff is dynamic, explosive, and unpredictable.
His surfing matches his personality to an almost hilarious degree.
Seth brings the Hawaiian-style barrel riding and some big ass airs
of his own. I liked the surfing, is what I’m saying.
The filmers bring a massive, high-tech arsenal to the job.
There’s drone views and water views and every kind of view you can
imagine. There are some truly lovely visions here, if you enjoy
surf imagery. It’s me. I enjoy that shit.
But at times, the technology overwhelms the subject. Yes,
cameras can do ridiculous high-resolution, slow motion now. But I’m
not sure I need to see every drop of water in its singularity.
Colors saturate beyond anything found in nature. Drone shots
transform surfing into twister. Dial it back a bit, my friends. The
surfing doesn’t — or shouldn’t — need quite so much razzle
dazzle.
The surfers travel, drive a lot, surf many hours. All of this is
good. In between, there’s a lot of interview material, and there
are back stories build around each surfer. This is… less good.
Taylor rightly edited the interviews in the original film down to a
few quick, snappy quotes and got on with the business end of the
thing.
I’ll confess, I skipped through some of talking in New Wave. My
dudes, this is a surf film. Show me the fucking surfing. I also
skipped the contest footage. Sue me.
There’s a noticeable lack of chemistry among the three surfers.
It’s set up to be a buddy film, but like an unconsummated marriage,
it never quite gets there. There’s a shot of the three surfers
sitting in a van on a long, dirt road. Seth drives, while Griff
sits shotgun. In the backseat, Ethan stares out the window. He
seems to be wishing he was just about anywhere else.
For all the effort, I’m not sure the film reveals all that much
about these guys. Griff has ridiculous energy. Seth is just happy
to be there. Ethan’s the most interesting character to me, mostly
for what he doesn’t tell us. For all the miles he travels and all
the good waves he surfs in this film, he looks happiest standing on
the beach at home alone with his dog. There’s a story there, but
not one he’s willing to tell us.
There’s just so much expectation weighing on Trilogy: New Wave,
and it all but crushes the thing. It’s so obviously trying so very
hard to be big and important in a way that the original didn’t —
and maybe didn’t have to be. Before social media and in a time when
surf industry money flowed like a high tide, surf films didn’t have
to work quite this hard.
The whole idea of a remake sets up a comparison that hardly
feels fair to the surfers. Surely, they are more than
shrink-wrapped plastic dolls pulled off the shelf for a new
generation. We should, I think, grant them more individuality than
that.
All three of these guys surf their hearts out. Ethan leaves his
apparent ambivalence on the beach. Griff paddles circles around
everyone like a hyped up frother. Seth blows his knee trying to
land an air in Indo. They go for it.
Should ya watch this thing? Sure, you should. Why wouldn’t you?
I guess if you hate surf films, you should not. But, if you hate
surf films, I’m not at all sure we can be friends.
When the film focuses on surfing, it’s compelling. The spaces in
between seem to last too long. I guess that makes the film a lot
like real life.
Mostly, I’m just hoping this flat spell ends before I have to
watch Modern Collective.
.
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New Jersey codifies pro-surfer stance after
Belmar Beach narrowly escapes George Floyd-esque catastrophe
"There seemed to be communication issues and
variations of the law among municipalities."
It is now officially autumn in the northern
hemisphere, summer, its fun n sun n easy times in the
rearview. Also, in New Jersey, its wild police overreach that
nearly led to a full blown culture riot just a memory. But you
certainly recall, in middle August, when a surfer in Belmar was
violently tossed to the ground and stuffed inside a police cruiser
after failing to present his beach badge.
From Memorial Day (May 31) to Labor Day (September 2) all
non-residents are required to buy daily beach access badges. Prices
range from ten to thirty dollars. Jersey and New York costal
communities thrive on blow-ins during the summer months. Most
businesses and municipalities have to make their money during these
times, hence the badges and inflated “non-local” prices on
goods.
It’s a 50 shade of grey line when trying to cross the
threshold to the beach. Technically, by municipal law, ya gotta pay
if your using the beach. But, if you’re just going to surf, swim or
fish (no umbrella, cooler, beach chair) you could walk right by the
teen sentinels with a smile and a wave.
Well, the brutality went viral and New Jersey’s arcane “beach
badge” patchwork savaged.
Though this coming summer of ’25 peace just might be
restored.
State Assemblywoman Margie Donlon, wanting to get ahead of
confusion, introduced a bill that
would “prohibit a municipality from requiring a
municipal beach tag or similar admission pass for access to the wet
sandy beach below the mean high tide line, for a surfer or a
fisherman for the exclusive purpose of surfing or fishing.”
It is already the rule, based on a law that Gov. Phil Murphy
approved in 2019, yet “there seemed to be communication issues and
variations of the law among municipalities.”
Donlon, a surfer with nearly two decades of water time clocked,
explained, “That was the motivation: to make that law clearer.”
Do you think it will work or after tasting surfer blood, is
Johnny Law hungry for more?
Much anticipation.
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North Carolina broadsheet torches new
network drama Rescue: HI-Surf
“Imagine Baywatch, but instead of David Hasselhoff
and Pamela Anderson, we’re going to cast people no one has heard
of."
It was with heightened blood pressure that
surfers, nationwide, tuned into Fox television this past Sunday
evening after the football lights dimmed. The network, you see, was
rolling out its first surf-adjacent show since The OC and the
aforementioned watermen and waterwomen were on pins and needles to
see if, decades on, Big Network was going to finally finally depict
our pastime of queens in its right light.
Rescue: HI-Surf, set on Oahu’s fabled North Shore, promised to
follow the heroic county lifeguards as they protected surfers etc.
tackling “the most dangerous wave in the world” but did it
deliver?
“Imagine Baywatch, but instead of David Hasselhoff and Pamela
Anderson, we’re going to cast people no one has heard of,” the
reviewer, Mr. Shawn Krest begins.
Lightly racist though continuing, he pens, “A teenager heads
toward the beach with his board … and his name is Reef. Because of
course it is. His parents are dropping him off and telling him
specifically when they’re going to pick him up … so clearly, Reef
is going to die.”
Reef McIntosh, Reef Heazlewood and possibly Kelly Slater’s still
publicly unnamed son smarting.
Wasting no time, Mr. Krest goes directly after professional
surfing fans, maybe Brazilian, wearing Filipe Toledo jerseys.
One of the surfers wipes out, and the people laying out on
the beach react with an, “Ohhh!” And the people on the beach? Are
all fully dressed, like with shirts on. So, is this an actual surf
competition, and they’re the audience? I thought this was just a
normal beach? And if it’s a competition, why is Reef, who has
apparently never done this before, allowed to just walk out there
and give it a try.
He lasted four minutes before turning the program off though
added, “I was generous. It should have died when the kid was named
Reef.”
Reef McIntosh, Reef Heazlewood and possibly Kelly Slater’s still
publicly unnamed son having every right in considering legal
action.
Did you watch Rescue: HI-Surf?
Do you want to?
Here’s the clip of Reef getting bashed.
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Reaction to viral legrope tying tutorial
reveals deep schism in surf culture
"Thanks for showing people this, now we know who to
drop in on before they paddle out."
It was the most innocuous of Instagram posts and in a
normal sorta world a brother would stroll right on by with
only the slightest raise of an eyebrow.
Kiel Russ is a surf coach from Alberta, Canada, who has
collected almost half-a-million Instagram followers drawn by his
easy-to-understand reels. In short catchy numbers, Russ explaining
how to repair a faulty duck dive, the correct technique for the
turtle roll, secret techniques that only pro’s know, the ubiquitous
pop-up tutorials and, recently, the dangers of coiling your leash
around your fins.
And it is here where the deep schism that is roiling surf
culture, or what might roughly be called a culture, has been laid
bare.
A quick aside: When did the obsession with pop-ups begin? When
the over-forties bankers starting getting into surf? Did The
Inertia birth the obsession?
Russ then recommends and demonstrates a method popular in the
nineteen-seventies where the leash is stretched and tied around the
nose and then hoiked up until it’s tight like a recalcitrant pair
of pants.
From the Greenroom Times, Thanks for showing people this,
now we know who to drop in on before they paddle out
40 plus years and always wrapped the leash around the board,
never took it off, and never had a problem
Best of luck to you buddy but leave advice/ surf content to
real surfers
VAL:
This puts a kink in it as well. The best thing is to just
take it off every time you surf and put it in a bin with the rest
of your leashes when you get home. Make sure to rinse them off.
Carry it in your hand until you get to the water edge, put it on
the board and your leash will last a long time.
That’s how I tie my leash so I can carry my longboard over
my shoulder using it. Short arms and all.
Just remove it and rinse out the swivels too, leash will
last much longer.
Been surfing for 3 years and I didnt know this, now I
understand why Im not taking waves. Hope I start taking waves after
changing the fins!
There’s a whole thread on reddit about Kiel Russ, master surf
coach, although very expensive to employ!
I booked a consultation with him (I’m a beginner and trying
to progress as much as possible). I had to fill in a form when booking my initial call, the last
question stated “are you willing to invest $500 – $1000 in your
surfing at the end of the call?”. Naturally, I answered “no”, as I
wanted to have the initial meeting first so I could decide whether
or not the fee was justified. I received several emails since
submitting the form stating my consultation was confirmed etc. only
to receive an email one day in advance cancelling it, due to the
fact that I wasn’t willing to commit to an investment at the end of
the call. Strange business strategy on their behalf. Plenty of
other surf/conditioning coaches online that I’m sure will be happy
to take my money.
I wasn’t able to find any videos of Kiel Russ, the founder
of Hydromind, surfing on Youtube. I followed up with his support
team and they stated “The prices of the programs vary depending on
your needs. We’ll determine your goals and what program suits you
best. It ranges from $500 to $1000, with Free Bands sent to your
delivery address.”
I read the knocks on him not being a great surfer, I ignored
that because I think the best players dont always make the best
coaches, and with a month-by-month membership on offer I didnt have
too much to lose. The program is more about surfing fitness which
is where I’m lacking at the moment. Having not really surfed for
about 15 years but looking to get back into it my surf fitness is
down, and having two kids, running a business etc I dont have the
time to surf multiple times a week. I know the only way you are
going to get good at surfing is by surfing, so this program is
defintely aimed at people like him (Kiel) who seem to have
irregular access to surf and want to maintain fitness/flexibility
when not in the water. If you can surf multiple times a week you
wouldn’t need his program.Early red flags, I did sign up
to a month-by-month membership with some free bands (he uses for
his paddle exercises and have made an improvement in my paddle
endurance and effectiveness so far) but there is no way I can see
where it shows how to cancel the membership. It’s easy enough to
block a credit card from future payments which is always the
failsafe but making it hard for people to cancel is always a bad
sign. From seeing comments I think I have to DM him somehow, and I
dont know what roadblocks they will put in my way to
cancel.
Have you ever considered shelling over cash so a man from
Instagram can make you shred?
And with the legrope tying matter, who ties? And if you do, are
you a surf-hat and poncho wearer?
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Jon Pyzel and Matt Biolos by
@theneedforshutterspeed/Step Bros