“Imagine Baywatch, but instead of David Hasselhoff
and Pamela Anderson, we’re going to cast people no one has heard
of."
It was with heightened blood pressure that
surfers, nationwide, tuned into Fox television this past Sunday
evening after the football lights dimmed. The network, you see, was
rolling out its first surf-adjacent show since The OC and the
aforementioned watermen and waterwomen were on pins and needles to
see if, decades on, Big Network was going to finally finally depict
our pastime of queens in its right light.
Rescue: HI-Surf, set on Oahu’s fabled North Shore, promised to
follow the heroic county lifeguards as they protected surfers etc.
tackling “the most dangerous wave in the world” but did it
deliver?
“Imagine Baywatch, but instead of David Hasselhoff and Pamela
Anderson, we’re going to cast people no one has heard of,” the
reviewer, Mr. Shawn Krest begins.
Lightly racist though continuing, he pens, “A teenager heads
toward the beach with his board … and his name is Reef. Because of
course it is. His parents are dropping him off and telling him
specifically when they’re going to pick him up … so clearly, Reef
is going to die.”
Reef McIntosh, Reef Heazlewood and possibly Kelly Slater’s still
publicly unnamed son smarting.
Wasting no time, Mr. Krest goes directly after professional
surfing fans, maybe Brazilian, wearing Filipe Toledo jerseys.
One of the surfers wipes out, and the people laying out on
the beach react with an, “Ohhh!” And the people on the beach? Are
all fully dressed, like with shirts on. So, is this an actual surf
competition, and they’re the audience? I thought this was just a
normal beach? And if it’s a competition, why is Reef, who has
apparently never done this before, allowed to just walk out there
and give it a try.
He lasted four minutes before turning the program off though
added, “I was generous. It should have died when the kid was named
Reef.”
Reef McIntosh, Reef Heazlewood and possibly Kelly Slater’s still
publicly unnamed son having every right in considering legal
action.
Did you watch Rescue: HI-Surf?
Do you want to?
Here’s the clip of Reef getting bashed.
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Surf expert Kiel Russ and the short video that drove
core lords mad.
Reaction to viral legrope tying tutorial
reveals deep schism in surf culture
"Thanks for showing people this, now we know who to
drop in on before they paddle out."
It was the most innocuous of Instagram posts and in a
normal sorta world a brother would stroll right on by with
only the slightest raise of an eyebrow.
Kiel Russ is a surf coach from Alberta, Canada, who has
collected almost half-a-million Instagram followers drawn by his
easy-to-understand reels. In short catchy numbers, Russ explaining
how to repair a faulty duck dive, the correct technique for the
turtle roll, secret techniques that only pro’s know, the ubiquitous
pop-up tutorials and, recently, the dangers of coiling your leash
around your fins.
And it is here where the deep schism that is roiling surf
culture, or what might roughly be called a culture, has been laid
bare.
Kiel Russ explains the dangers of wrapping your
leash around the fins, an innocuous enough post except it squares
core lords, sea dogs, whatever you wanna call lifetime surfers,
against the modern VAL.
A quick aside: When did the obsession with pop-ups begin? When
the over-forties bankers starting getting into surf? Did The
Inertia birth the obsession?
Russ then recommends and demonstrates a method popular in the
nineteen-seventies where the leash is stretched and tied around the
nose and then hoiked up until it’s tight like a recalcitrant pair
of pants.
From the Greenroom Times, Thanks for showing people this,
now we know who to drop in on before they paddle out
40 plus years and always wrapped the leash around the board,
never took it off, and never had a problem
Best of luck to you buddy but leave advice/ surf content to
real surfers
VAL:
This puts a kink in it as well. The best thing is to just
take it off every time you surf and put it in a bin with the rest
of your leashes when you get home. Make sure to rinse them off.
Carry it in your hand until you get to the water edge, put it on
the board and your leash will last a long time.
That’s how I tie my leash so I can carry my longboard over
my shoulder using it. Short arms and all.
Just remove it and rinse out the swivels too, leash will
last much longer.
Been surfing for 3 years and I didnt know this, now I
understand why Im not taking waves. Hope I start taking waves after
changing the fins!
There’s a whole thread on reddit about Kiel Russ, master surf
coach, although very expensive to employ!
I booked a consultation with him (I’m a beginner and trying
to progress as much as possible). I had to fill in a form when booking my initial call, the last
question stated “are you willing to invest $500 – $1000 in your
surfing at the end of the call?”. Naturally, I answered “no”, as I
wanted to have the initial meeting first so I could decide whether
or not the fee was justified. I received several emails since
submitting the form stating my consultation was confirmed etc. only
to receive an email one day in advance cancelling it, due to the
fact that I wasn’t willing to commit to an investment at the end of
the call. Strange business strategy on their behalf. Plenty of
other surf/conditioning coaches online that I’m sure will be happy
to take my money.
I wasn’t able to find any videos of Kiel Russ, the founder
of Hydromind, surfing on Youtube. I followed up with his support
team and they stated “The prices of the programs vary depending on
your needs. We’ll determine your goals and what program suits you
best. It ranges from $500 to $1000, with Free Bands sent to your
delivery address.”
I read the knocks on him not being a great surfer, I ignored
that because I think the best players dont always make the best
coaches, and with a month-by-month membership on offer I didnt have
too much to lose. The program is more about surfing fitness which
is where I’m lacking at the moment. Having not really surfed for
about 15 years but looking to get back into it my surf fitness is
down, and having two kids, running a business etc I dont have the
time to surf multiple times a week. I know the only way you are
going to get good at surfing is by surfing, so this program is
defintely aimed at people like him (Kiel) who seem to have
irregular access to surf and want to maintain fitness/flexibility
when not in the water. If you can surf multiple times a week you
wouldn’t need his program.Early red flags, I did sign up
to a month-by-month membership with some free bands (he uses for
his paddle exercises and have made an improvement in my paddle
endurance and effectiveness so far) but there is no way I can see
where it shows how to cancel the membership. It’s easy enough to
block a credit card from future payments which is always the
failsafe but making it hard for people to cancel is always a bad
sign. From seeing comments I think I have to DM him somehow, and I
dont know what roadblocks they will put in my way to
cancel.
Have you ever considered shelling over cash so a man from
Instagram can make you shred?
And with the legrope tying matter, who ties? And if you do, are
you a surf-hat and poncho wearer?
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"Gnarly" Charley Hajek. Brave. Photo:
Hajek.
Nasty bull shark nearly chews foot off
18-time East Coast surfing champ
“I went to stand up. When I put the pressure on my
leg: boom. All the blood was just pouring out of my leg."
Sharks, man. If it is not Topangry locals
causing maximum physical damage, out in the surf lineup, then it’s
sharks and especially in Florida. The Sunshine State, which has
become a haven for all manner of the criminally-minded, has been in
the news, recently, for Diddy’s “freak-offs” but up the coast near
New Smyrna a different sort of freak slithers beneath the
Atlantic’s surface.
Not just regular ol’ sharks but bull sharks.
These mean bastards are known for actually enjoying the taste of
human flesh, as opposed to merely tolerating it, and, over the
weekend, one nearly feasted upon a royal hoof.
The foot of 18-time East Coast surfing champion “Gnarly” Charley
Hajek. Now, the 62-year-old was in the midst of a 148 days of
surfing ironman streak when disaster struck. “Nobody’s out, the
waves are firing, it’s pumping, I’m surfing for two hours, having
the best time of my life,” the feisty blonde
explained to the local
news.
It was around 11 am on a warm Sunday morning and Hajek was
finishing up, taking a wave to the send. In knee deep water, he
hopped off and, as he continues, “I could tell I was on top of
something. That split second I go ‘Oh (expletive) I bet I’m on a
shark.’ By the time I even thought of that, it bit me so fast. It
was so quick and the thrust was so powerful that when I was in his
mouth for that split second, it bit down on me and let me go. And
then I said ‘Oh (expletive)’ so I jumped up on my board and the
shark must have hauled ass cause he was scared.”
Initially, the highly decorated champ didn’t want to look down…
“But I gotta look at it. So I looked at it, and I didn’t see
nothing like, ‘Oh my God, I got lucky. Just bumped into me or
something.’”
The fortunate feeling did not last.
“I went to stand up. When I put the pressure on my leg: boom.
All the blood was just pouring out of my leg,” he said with a
chuckle.
After fashioning a leash tourniquet, Hajek drove himself to the
hospital where he learned the nasty bull missed his Achilles tendon
by inches. Yet while ending the ironman streak, the encounter has
not dampened a profound love of surfing.
“I’m not mad. I’m not pissed off. I stepped on a shark. What’s
gonna happen?” he philosophized. “That was Henry. Henry don’t like
me because I don’t give him enough attention.”
And as soon as the stitches come out… “I’m going to surf harder
than ever.”
Freak on, dear friend. Freak on.
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Sprawling beachside compound at J-Bay lists
for $167k.
Sprawling beach house overlooking “long,
fast, exquisitely tapered righthand point” lists for $167k
The gorgeous holiday hamlet of Jeffreys Bay on South Africa’s
eastern cape, very famous for its “long, fast, exquisitely tapered
right-breaking point surf”, has long gripped the hearts of
local and visiting surfers.
As Warshaw describes in his lovingly maintained historical
showcase, the Encyclopedia of Surfing.
Jeffreys Bay was a showcase wave from the beginning. Gavin
Rudolph, Jonathan Paarman, Peers Pittard, and Bunker Spreckels were
among the early standouts. Terry Fitzgerald, the 1971 Australian
champion and aptly nicknamed “Sultan of Speed,” was magnificent at
Jeffreys Bay throughout the ’70s, linking one blistering turn to
the next. 1977 world champion Shaun Tomson was for years the
standout Jeffreys rider, placing himself deep inside the tube
almost at will and driving his board into a wide range of turns.
Mark Occhilupo of Australia, during
his world tour debut in 1984, was one of the first goofy-foot
surfers to match the regularfooters at Jeffreys
Bay.
Downside, of course, are the husky Great Whites that patrol the
area and, Fanning aside, death by shark attack isn’t an abstract
concept, although its been a decade Burgert van der Westhuizen was
killed there.
Living in South Africa is real cheap, the consequence of a few
things: a fragile currency, a crime scene that has to be
experienced to be believed, although J-Bay defs ain’t the worst,
low wages and therefore low operating costs, political instability,
a lack of foreign investment ’cause the place feels like it can be
a bit of a tinderbox and then there’s the lingering hate for Whitey
that ain’t going awaydddd.
But, what’s all that matter when you’re living in a mansion a
five-minute walk from Super Tubes via a direct track to the beach
and you get a hunk of change back from 200k?
The joint ain’t pretty but it’s pretty damn big.
Retire and hone your glide, as the old men call it.
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Topanga assault (pictured) and complete lack of remorse
by the perp (insert). Photo: Instagram
Police on high alert after vicious surf
assault in Topanga lineup!
Southern California, as mentioned, is in the
middle of a flat spell so brutal, so altogether miserable as to
have surfers either terminally depressed or filled with
uncomfortable feelings. There are no waves nor any hope of waves,
Surfline’s week forecast calling for 0 -1 ft and fair from San
Diego to all the way to Ventura.
Bleak.
Bleak, and sad or sad-mad, which might explain the absolutely
brutal surf brawl that broke out at Los Angeles’ Topanga Beach
yesterday afternoon.
Video footage has leaked of one longboarder, riding a 0 – 1 ft
wave, coming up behind another longboarder, this one a local
favorite, on the same wave, and pushing him with such force, such
vicious power as to send ripples of fear up and down the coast.
Topanga Lou, the
wave’s “official photographer,” captured the moment and described
exactly what happened.
This barney grabbed and threw Mitt off his board on Friday,
9-20-24. Then barney screamed and cussed at Mitt trying to get him
to go on the beach to fight him. Barney was yelled at to go home!
This barney was dropping in and snaking everybody stealing waves
right and left. he had no respect for the line-up! this is clearly
Assault!
Mitt did speak to him prior to this , telling him to slow
down & to stop dropping in on surfers. Barney just screamed &
cussed Mitt out. Mitt, did what any surfer with as many yrs
experience would do…he showed him not to do it. Barney’s response
was to grab Mitt & throw him off his board. Followed with screaming
& cussing at Mitt.
This barney did these exact same things the week before this
at the bu. barney is a repeat offender!
Last year, there was a radio show about “Topangry”. That the
locals are all “Topangry”. I’ve never seen this barney surf at
Topanga Beach before. Talk about “Topangry”!?!
Mitt is a local who has been surfing at Topanga Beach for
many, many years. He’s also very well respected and loved.
