“I went to stand up. When I put the pressure on my leg: boom. All the blood was just pouring out of my leg."

Sharks, man. If it is not Topangry locals causing maximum physical damage, out in the surf lineup, then it’s sharks and especially in Florida. The Sunshine State, which has become a haven for all manner of the criminally-minded, has been in the news, recently, for Diddy’s “freak-offs” but up the coast near New Smyrna a different sort of freak slithers beneath the Atlantic’s surface.

Not just regular ol’ sharks but bull sharks.

These mean bastards are known for actually enjoying the taste of human flesh, as opposed to merely tolerating it, and, over the weekend, one nearly feasted upon a royal hoof.

The foot of 18-time East Coast surfing champion “Gnarly” Charley Hajek. Now, the 62-year-old was in the midst of a 148 days of surfing ironman streak when disaster struck. “Nobody’s out, the waves are firing, it’s pumping, I’m surfing for two hours, having the best time of my life,” the feisty blonde explained to the local news.

It was around 11 am on a warm Sunday morning and Hajek was finishing up, taking a wave to the send. In knee deep water, he hopped off and, as he continues, “I could tell I was on top of something. That split second I go ‘Oh (expletive) I bet I’m on a shark.’ By the time I even thought of that, it bit me so fast. It was so quick and the thrust was so powerful that when I was in his mouth for that split second, it bit down on me and let me go. And then I said ‘Oh (expletive)’ so I jumped up on my board and the shark must have hauled ass cause he was scared.”

Initially, the highly decorated champ didn’t want to look down… “But I gotta look at it. So I looked at it, and I didn’t see nothing like, ‘Oh my God, I got lucky. Just bumped into me or something.’”

The fortunate feeling did not last.

“I went to stand up. When I put the pressure on my leg: boom. All the blood was just pouring out of my leg,” he said with a chuckle.

After fashioning a leash tourniquet, Hajek drove himself to the hospital where he learned the nasty bull missed his Achilles tendon by inches. Yet while ending the ironman streak, the encounter has not dampened a profound love of surfing.

“I’m not mad. I’m not pissed off. I stepped on a shark. What’s gonna happen?” he philosophized. “That was Henry. Henry don’t like me because I don’t give him enough attention.”

And as soon as the stitches come out… “I’m going to surf harder than ever.”

Freak on, dear friend. Freak on.

"Talk about Topangry!'"

Southern California, as mentioned, is in the middle of a flat spell so brutal, so altogether miserable as to have surfers either terminally depressed or filled with uncomfortable feelings. There are no waves nor any hope of waves, Surfline’s week forecast calling for 0 -1 ft and fair from San Diego to all the way to Ventura.

Bleak.

Bleak, and sad or sad-mad, which might explain the absolutely brutal surf brawl that broke out at Los Angeles’ Topanga Beach yesterday afternoon.

Video footage has leaked of one longboarder, riding a 0 – 1 ft wave, coming up behind another longboarder, this one a local favorite, on the same wave, and pushing him with such force, such vicious power as to send ripples of fear up and down the coast.

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A post shared by Topanga Lou (@malibubarbiexoxo)

Topanga Lou, the wave’s “official photographer,” captured the moment and described exactly what happened.

This barney grabbed and threw Mitt off his board on Friday, 9-20-24. Then barney screamed and cussed at Mitt trying to get him to go on the beach to fight him. Barney was yelled at to go home! This barney was dropping in and snaking everybody stealing waves right and left. he had no respect for the line-up! this is clearly Assault!

Mitt did speak to him prior to this , telling him to slow down & to stop dropping in on surfers. Barney just screamed & cussed Mitt out. Mitt, did what any surfer with as many yrs experience would do…he showed him not to do it. Barney’s response was to grab Mitt & throw him off his board. Followed with screaming & cussing at Mitt.

This barney did these exact same things the week before this at the bu. barney is a repeat offender!

Last year, there was a radio show about “Topangry”. That the locals are all “Topangry”. I’ve never seen this barney surf at Topanga Beach before. Talk about “Topangry”!?!

Mitt is a local who has been surfing at Topanga Beach for many, many years. He’s also very well respected and loved.

Police, no doubt, on high alert.

If you were in Mitt’s place, how would you react?

Know before you go.

“The most dangerous wave in the world, cresting in shallow water over a bed of rocks."

American surfers were giddy with anticipation, last night, for the last football game to end. Usually, American surfers spend their Sunday evenings being sad about Jacksonville Jaguar, Los Angeles Charger, San Francisco 49er losses and carry Modelo hangovers with them to an early bedtime. Last night was the same, save the Jags not playing. They will lose later this eve. No, last night thrill percolated for a new surf drama was set to premier on Fox.

Rescue: HI-Surf.

The program follows a group of intrepid lifeguards patrolling Oahu’s North Shore which, of course, includes “the most dangerous wave in the world, cresting in shallow water over a bed of rocks.”

Must see TV.

Now, I somehow missed the opener, but the tepid review this morning gave me much to consider. Variety declared it to be an “average workplace drama, but with an exceptional tropical location” though praised the restraint in storyline. Namely, a baby did not get stuck in a pipe, either real or metaphysical, the action of the pilot instead centering around “a Floridian daredevil knocked unconscious in the water.”

Surf fans immediately attempted to guess who the surfer was based upon.

Caroline Marks is from Florida but not a daredevil.

Filipe Toledo is not from Florida nor a daredevil.

Ben Gravy is from New Jersey, Cory Lopez has hung up the singlet, Kelly Slater doesn’t get knocked unconscious.

Did anyone watch?

Help would be appreciated.

Enjoy the trailer, in any case, here.