Topanga assault (pictured) and complete lack of remorse by the perp (insert). Photo: Instagram
Topanga assault (pictured) and complete lack of remorse by the perp (insert). Photo: Instagram

Police on high alert after vicious surf assault in Topanga lineup!

Chas Smith

By

"Talk about Topangry!'"

Southern California, as mentioned, is in the middle of a flat spell so brutal, so altogether miserable as to have surfers either terminally depressed or filled with uncomfortable feelings. There are no waves nor any hope of waves, Surfline’s week forecast calling for 0 -1 ft and fair from San Diego to all the way to Ventura.

Bleak.

Bleak, and sad or sad-mad, which might explain the absolutely brutal surf brawl that broke out at Los Angeles’ Topanga Beach yesterday afternoon.

Video footage has leaked of one longboarder, riding a 0 – 1 ft wave, coming up behind another longboarder, this one a local favorite, on the same wave, and pushing him with such force, such vicious power as to send ripples of fear up and down the coast.

Topanga Lou, the wave’s “official photographer,” captured the moment and described exactly what happened.

This barney grabbed and threw Mitt off his board on Friday, 9-20-24. Then barney screamed and cussed at Mitt trying to get him to go on the beach to fight him. Barney was yelled at to go home! This barney was dropping in and snaking everybody stealing waves right and left. he had no respect for the line-up! this is clearly Assault!

Mitt did speak to him prior to this , telling him to slow down & to stop dropping in on surfers. Barney just screamed & cussed Mitt out. Mitt, did what any surfer with as many yrs experience would do…he showed him not to do it. Barney’s response was to grab Mitt & throw him off his board. Followed with screaming & cussing at Mitt.

This barney did these exact same things the week before this at the bu. barney is a repeat offender!

Last year, there was a radio show about “Topangry”. That the locals are all “Topangry”. I’ve never seen this barney surf at Topanga Beach before. Talk about “Topangry”!?!

Mitt is a local who has been surfing at Topanga Beach for many, many years. He’s also very well respected and loved.

Police, no doubt, on high alert.

If you were in Mitt’s place, how would you react?

Know before you go.

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Florida surfer (pictured) getting knocked out underwater.
Florida surfer (pictured) getting knocked out underwater.

Surfers scramble to identify inspiration for “Floridian daredevil knocked unconscious in water” on Rescue: HI-Surf premier!

Chas Smith

By

“The most dangerous wave in the world, cresting in shallow water over a bed of rocks."

American surfers were giddy with anticipation, last night, for the last football game to end. Usually, American surfers spend their Sunday evenings being sad about Jacksonville Jaguar, Los Angeles Charger, San Francisco 49er losses and carry Modelo hangovers with them to an early bedtime. Last night was the same, save the Jags not playing. They will lose later this eve. No, last night thrill percolated for a new surf drama was set to premier on Fox.

Rescue: HI-Surf.

The program follows a group of intrepid lifeguards patrolling Oahu’s North Shore which, of course, includes “the most dangerous wave in the world, cresting in shallow water over a bed of rocks.”

Must see TV.

Now, I somehow missed the opener, but the tepid review this morning gave me much to consider. Variety declared it to be an “average workplace drama, but with an exceptional tropical location” though praised the restraint in storyline. Namely, a baby did not get stuck in a pipe, either real or metaphysical, the action of the pilot instead centering around “a Floridian daredevil knocked unconscious in the water.”

Surf fans immediately attempted to guess who the surfer was based upon.

Caroline Marks is from Florida but not a daredevil.

Filipe Toledo is not from Florida nor a daredevil.

Ben Gravy is from New Jersey, Cory Lopez has hung up the singlet, Kelly Slater doesn’t get knocked unconscious.

Did anyone watch?

Help would be appreciated.

Enjoy the trailer, in any case, here.

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In the latest daylight landing, the Surfline cam captured a dozen migrants beaching their panga, those familiar flat-bottomed skiffs that originally designed by Yamaha for a World Bank project back in 1970 and named after the panga fish, on the pretty mocha sands of Carlsbad Beach.

Surfline cam catches inspiring moment immigrants land boat on San Diego beach

Derek Rielly

By

Bold daylight landing at the US's hottest new migrant hub, San Diego county!

Boats filled with new Americans making audacious beach landings have become such a staple of everyday life in San Diego County it’s now on track to surpassing that wild ol’ border town Tuscon, Arizona, as the hottest migrant hub in the union.

“Tucson has been the number one sector for migrant arrivals since July 2023, but numbers have been dropping,” Adam Isacson from the Washington Office on Latin America said. “While one week’s data is not enough evidence to go by, it is possible that San Diego may be supplanting Tucson as the number-one sector.”

In what has become the new norm in a country that has swung open its golden door to the huddled masses, the wretched refuse, 7.2 million so far under the Biden’s humaniarium admin, the new Americans have been arriving in SD county, as well on beaches as far north as Malibu, in the thousands.

In the latest daylight landing, the Surfline cam captured a dozen migrants beaching their panga, those familiar flat-bottomed skiffs that originally designed by Yamaha for a World Bank project back in 1970 and named after the panga fish, on the pretty mocha sands of Carlsbad Beach.

The dozen or so new Americans scattered out of frame and to, presumably, new lives in the kitchens and gardens of California’s wealthy progressives.

You’ll recall six or so months back when Malibu was put into a state of euphoria after a boat filled with twenty-five New Americans disembarked on its privileged shores.

The New Americans scattered once they hit the golden sands of what used to be Chumash lands, and just under the $100-million clifftop compound of chanteuse Barbara Streisand.

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Southern California surf adjacent Angelo Pappas inexplicably eating a meatball sandwich. Photo: Point Break
Southern California surf adjacent Angelo Pappas inexplicably eating a meatball sandwich. Photo: Point Break

So Cal surfers beg beachfront burrito joints to free them from the tyranny of Surfline

Chas Smith

By

Introducing The Carne Asada Metric.

The Pacific has gone entirely flat, in Southern California, and has been such for months now. Not a pulse, not even a ripple, in weeks and weeks and weeks. The obsessive-compulsive surfer who counts a 15-ft glider in his quiver not even “out there.” The surfer who depends on saltwater to balance mental health throwing caution to the wind and letting that mental health become unbalanced.

As bleak as it gets and yet, Surfline has been calling 2 – 3 fair to poor throughout much of this satanic stretch. The wave forecasting giant making an absolute mockery of both 2 – 3 feet and the very idea of fairness and poorness. Surfline, as you know, has a monopoly on wave forecasting, around these parts, which leads directly to all sorts of conflicts of interest. Which advertiser, for instance, might need a little boost from a juiced outlook?

And it has long been thought that this situation simply is what it is. There will never be a Surfline competitor so accepting its prognostications, just like accepting political season promises or the fact that Diddy called his parties “freak offs” just a way of life.

Until now.

For just yesterday, I sat down for my weekly chat with David Lee Scales who just so happened to be near Florida’s gulf where the waves are slightly larger than bottom California’s. We were talking about this and that until he mentioned Waffle House, the beloved southern chain that serves such delicacies as Texas Melts and biscuits + gravy. Well, David Lee informed me that alongside breakfast yum yum, Waffle House also provides its Waffle House Index, a guide to hurricanes and tropical storms and their potential damage.

Per the Waffle House website:

When a hurricane makes landfall, the head of the Federal Emergency Management Agency relies on a couple of metrics to assess its destructive power.

First, there is the well-known Saffir-Simpson Wind Scale. Then there is what he calls the “Waffle House Index.”

Green means the restaurant is serving a full menu, a signal that damage in an area is limited and the lights are on. Yellow means a limited menu, indicating power from a generator, at best, and low food supplies. Red means the restaurant is closed, a sign of severe damage in the area or unsafe conditions.

Honest and true.

And while Southern California may not have Waffle House nor tropical storm, it does have burrito joints frequented by surfers post-surf. Now, if we were to set up iPads at each beachfront burrito joint with three simple questions (where did you surf, what board do you normally ride, what board did you ride today), wave quality could be instantly and accurately determined.

The Carne Asada Metric.

Genius, no?

David Lee and I also discussed the cons of renewing wedding vows and Griffin Colapinto. A fine show and worth a listen, here.

But before you click “play,” what is your burrito order? Are you a California gal? Classic carne asada? Pollo asado?

Me?

Al pastor tacos. The mighty burrito just too much food.

Bon apetit.

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Dane Reynolds and new surf shop in Ventura Chapter 11
"Well, surf fans, lookee here, we got ourselves a new location," says Dane Reynolds, captain and master of Chapter 11, now at 83 Palm St. Inset, a little graffiti on the new concrete. | Photo: IP6IP6

Iconic Ventura surf shop owned by Dane Reynolds and bulldozed by developers set to reopen in new location “within days”

Derek Rielly

By

"I’m pretty sure our battered soul still exists, stuck to us like the last chunk of wax at the bottom of the box."

Lovers of authentic surf culture were shocked several months back when Dane Reynolds, the former world number four surfer, daddy to six children and neighbour of Travis Barker and the homeliest of the Kardashians, curvy ol mama Kourtney, was forced to shutter his iconic Ventura surf shop shortly before it was bulldozed by developers.

The green shack was called Chapter 11 and lived at 365 East Santa Clara Street in Ventura. It was a place where its famous owner would greet customers and offer screen-printed t-shirts, still warm from the freshly applied inks. It quickly became the hub around which that surf community revolved.

BeachGrit’s Santa Babs-based writer Jen See wrote approvingly of the store and the electrical vibrations that pulsed from it,

It’s easy to feel like surfing’s soul has drowned in a sea of soft tops and Sprinter vans. The latest private equity firm to come along buys and sells the empty shell that’s left. Pull the shrinkwrap off another one.

Did it ever exist at all? Did surfing ever have a soul? Seduced by magic images and exuberant story-telling, did we imagine the whole thing?

I’m pretty sure our battered soul still exists, stuck to us like the last chunk of wax at the bottom of the box.

It might be the guy screening t-shirts in the back of his shop and making cheerful small talk about the waves and the forecast.

It might be the next generation of groms falling asleep on movie night. It might be the women hanging out in the parking lot, talking about board designs.

Never one to miss an opportunity for a little comedy, Reynolds, who is thirty-nine, used the misfortune to have some fun.

“Well, shit, the time has come that you’ve been waiting for, we’re finally closing our doors for the last time,” said Dane Reynolds in classic huckster mode, straw panama hat balanced on head.

 

View this post on Instagram

 

A post shared by Chapter 11 TV (@chapter11.tv)

 

All is not lost, howevs.

The gods have breathed a little life into the dying embers of surf culture with the new Chapter 11 store opening up just one hundred yards from the old place at 83 Palm St, Ventura, and next to Indoek, an art gallery famous for its brightly coloured books on interesting surfers and their “surf shacks.”

Click here to read about the home of BeachGrit’s dear friend Damion Fuller, the man who is central to our new accessories capsule called I Hate Surfing, which will feature I Hate Surfing mugs and ashtrays. 

 

 

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Photo: Justin Jay/@justinjayphoto
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