"You random fanboy Barneys keep kooking up our culture. If you ran your mouth in person like you do now you’d be sleeping on your knees!"
The high-stepping trad longboarder Joel Tudor, who is famous for being able to hang ten for fifteen consecutive seconds, has put his boot into recalcitrant surf fans who responded poorly to his claim that the WSL contest in Abu Dhabi is being run in “beginner waves.”
“Watching the WSL wave pool comp in Abu Dhabi and realising they have the wave set at beginner level!” writes Tudor, nicknamed Tinkerbell for his pretty good looks and small square hips. “Slides two and three are from when they let em use the regular setting…no bump rides, actual hollow sections that didn’t shut down on you and wave height a foot or two bigger! Super bummed y’all didn’t have the balls to speak up and get it done correctly!”
This was sucked straight into the nostrils of one surf fan who ran up on Tudor wrapped in a fighting cape.
“You come across as someone who is always on their high horse. An ageing opinionated man isn’t a good look lol.”
Tudor responded, “I can say what I want because I’m still better than all of them hahahahahaha and I’m almost fifty.”
Surf fan, “That’s an ego assertion. Can’t justify it that way although you’re not totally wrong. hahaha.”
Tudor, “Not ego at all. Pure factual statement! From Pipeline to Malibu gramps is still holding court!”
All good humour until Barney man arrives!
He writes, “Yes, you’re good at surf, and apparently decent at jiujitsu but you really think apart (from) a small number of persons that practice these activities you’re worth something? Like to humanity? Calm down and stop speaking like a kid.”
Tudor, “You random fanboy Barneys keep kooking up our culture as you please. If you ran your mouth in person like you do now you’d be sleeping on your knees! Suck a Richard kook!
And, “Decent at jiujitsu? I’m a two-time IBJJF world no Gi champion and an ADCC 2009 invite. I will tie you in a human knot!”
Joel got a point? Barneys kooking up surf culture? Is there a culture left to kook up?
Thoughts BTL.
Isn’t the whole purpose of a longboard to surf shitty waves ? Makes sense to set wave machines accordingly if you have the option ?
Greener too ,saving on the power !
excellent point
I yell “HiiiiiYaaaa”at the top of my lungs at 5 am when I drive by his abode on the Heights….he’s a karate guy right?
Homo wrestling. Karate is way too regimented for Joel.
I think that the Barnys should be celebrated.
Quite insensitive of ol’ Joey.
I tend to agree with Joel generally but posting a negative comment about a WSL longboard contest held in a pool in the UAE on a social media platform owned by an e-foiler is where I draw the line.
People who get riled up on social media, why
I had to give up smoking weed and never learned jujutsu so I rank low on the totem pole. Abu Dhabi is a desert much like in Phoenix where I live, but we lost our wave pool many moons ago so there won’t be a North Shore sequel anytime soon. Thankfully, I don’t really have to listen to people criticize my surfing style too often as a result.
Tudor stories really do bring out the best in this crowd. Need to make it a guaranteed weekly thing, like Taco (Tudor) Tuesday.
Agreed Rocks…I’m still lobbying for a 24 hour open comment thread on Fridays.
Suck it!
somethings up with this guy… small dick, wife cheating on him…? no 50 year old man acts like this unless…
At least Vans and Birdwells are doing their part to make bullying great again…. more as the story gets psychotically stoned….
Longboarding is lame.
Professional longboarding is even more lame.
Professional longboarding in a wavepool? Come on!!!!!!!
No HamSammish. You couldn’t pay me to watch that crap.
Professional Longboarding Champion Trolling Wavepool-Longboarding-Contest-Critic.
Exponentially Lame. L/10th
Get the cheese with the bread and the ham
when the shit goes down u better b ready
Not many things kooked up surfing more than proffesional longboarding has.
Social media is a hell of a drug
Especially if you put it in your bumhole!
Xox
Lol. Boofing it, as the shroomers like to say.
Baby Shroomers!
Xox
I can trump that. The ladies on the CS in Portugal yesterday morning were sent out to play in no waves at all. Women and children first indeed. The farce went on for 4 heats before it was pulled. Thus destroying the hopes of several young kids who had come from NZ and Australia. A whole lot of money spent for a whole lot of nothing.
Thanks to the arrogant Muppet that is Travis Logie. Though to be fair to him his head must be up his derriere right now as he sees the end game for his it’s on its off nonsense as he glanced over at proceedings at Abu Dhabi and saw the future. Surfline will join him on the unemployment line.
Spent a whole lot of Mummy and Daddy’s money.
They’ll be seeing Travis and SL in the unemployment line, no wait, mummy and daddy will pay for more tour, yippee
when eventually he does a mass shooting or mass choke-out arm-bar at a crowded public place, not one of us has bloodless hands ; not one of us can force a contrived, “I never saw it coming…I didn’t think Joel Tudor was such a tortured soul with violently-threatening impulses set on DEFAULT POR VIDA. How did this come to be…there was no way to predict it!?!?”
i look each of you in your guilt-addled souls and cannot blink, cuz I am you and you are me.
point being it’s going down. can somebody try to talk to him or arrange an intervention? maybe make sure he’s not dripping his blunts in sherm at the very least?
this is a refuge for the un-cleansed heart on this topic of Joel “The Ticking Time” Tudor. let’s find fellowship in judging one another & opening ourselves to being harshly judged in return. for knowing it was coming. and mustering joyful hate in the form of witty comments as a miasma of personal-meets-collective anti-social venom and apathy towards the man. typical surfer response, shirking responsibility and even a thin patina of concern re: land-based social ills.
it’s all fucking masterful absurdist art. and Joel Tudor is definitely going to eventually Michael Douglas – Falling Down it up in a mass casualty event, be it a shooting or moving ninja like thru a swap meet and dropping fools with carotid chokes and leg sweeps. this will be bloody.
Is the IBJJF a reputable sanctioning body?
i’d reasonably sanction that ass, if that’s what you mean about that hot rig of theirs.
is that how they call coitus in Armagh?
Has Joel ever posted below the line here? I reckon he and I could have some epic arguments.
Keep em coming Pauly, we’ll just bait Tudor below the line.
I think Negs probably has some IP address tracking spreadsheet/scrapbook of notable contributions from back in the halcyon days
guessing that spreadsheet is fully up to date and geo-tracked
i would look at this as a godsend were I able to stick and move on here with him and his glass-jaw of EXTREME IRRITATION ABOUT THE TRIVIAL & general emotional dis-regulation.
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Haha
Needs a yarmulke…
Gold
did barney come back with, ” bring ya fucken Ju Jitsu , and I will blow ya head off with…????
or stand up fighters knock out juey jitsui practitioners or fark ya right you are the best forever and ever fuck AI ?
I wonder what Joel would do if someone just punched him in his stupid face instead of trying to have a hugging competition with him
In a real fight it’s bottles over the head and clobbering with anything that isn’t bolted down.
A boxer might do ok but these wrestlers would go to ground and get set on by the guy’s mates.
Good luck Joel when you inevitably give shit to the wrong guy.
which one’s Joel?
https://youtu.be/Vf5sWakPVMA?si=_dXBnnK_XnhsVnbk