Kelly Slater fat shames fat influencer
Adi Gutierrez, main photo, and Kelly Slater, assistant health cop to RFK Jr.

“Fatty” influencer Adi Gutierrez under fire from world’s greatest surfer Kelly Slater

TikTok queen of “What I ate today” videos lanced by one of Kelly Slater’s famous barbs…

Emboldened, perhaps, by his surf-buddy RFJ Jr’s elevation to head of America’s Department of Health, Kelly Slater has launched a stinging barb at one of TikTok queen Adi Gutirrez’s epic “What I Ate Today” videos. 

And by epic, I mean epic: Adi is a “Fatty” influencer with an appetite that won’t quit.

In her posts, the two-fifty pounder with the pretty face, dewy skin and well-manicured eyebrows details the delicious treats she inhales in the course of a day which are, wrapped, mostly, in sugar and saturated fats.

In the video that raised Kelly Slater’s ire, Adi enjoys a glazed doughnut dunked in milk, fried chicken dunked in the same milk, for breakfast, then followed it up through the course of the day with some big red drinks, ice cream etc. 

 

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A post shared by Adi Gutierrez (@adigutierrezxoxo)

It’s hard to know if Adi is trolling or if it’s some kind of fatty Only Fans schtick aimed at feeders, but she plays the crowd well. Adi knows what shocks and what delights. 

Kelly Slater, known for his commitment to good health and who is ageing at a rate far less than the average human being, a man whose online feuds are legendary, pounced on the absurdity of her diet. 

“This is sad,” wrote Slater, one of almost forty-one thousand comments on the video.

Slater’s comment was liked a whipping 16,700 times and generated almost one hundred replies, almost all in favour of Slater.

“Ur such a legend.” 

“Goat knows.”

“The Goat.” 

“The Goat himself.” 

“And degrading.” 

“Goddamn I love how I am on the same ago as the GOAT.” 

“Legend.” 

“RFK about to change everything.” 

A few pro-Adi commenters pushed back. 

“What’s sad is you giving a fuck.” 

“Bring back bullying, am I right?” 

Fat influencers, like Adi, as well as the great Tess Holiday, titanic Ashley Graham, Africa-sized Lizzo, are content creators who focus on promoting body positivity, fat acceptance, and self-love for larger body sizes.

Is Kelly Slater is one the right or wrong side of history on this issue, y’think?

I like ’em big, as long as there’s some muscle tone and the breath isn’t polluted too bad by the fried gear but do find these videos a little nauseous as I have a weak stomach.

You?

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Kelly Slater (maybe) surfing The Eddie.
Kelly Slater (maybe) surfing The Eddie.

Surf fans squeal with delight as The Eddie called on for Sunday!

Green means go.

Lady and gentlemen surf fans, dig out your most comfortable surf-watching pants, throw the roast in the oven and otherwise clear Sunday’s schedule. For tomorrow The Eddie Aikau Big Wave Invitational runs. Yes, the Bay has officially called the day and our heroes and heroines will paddle into morning glory.

It all gets underway at 8:00 am, Hawaii time, wherein contest organizers will peer over the horizon to make sure the promised swell has arrived.

The aforementioned lady and gentlemen surf fans who happen to be on Oahu and would like to watch from the cliffs can arrive at 4:00 am and park in Waimea Valley for the low, low cost of $50.

It will be The Eddie’s eleventh running.

I was on those cliffs watching myself during the eighth Eddie. The year was 2009, the day December 8th, and I was on Oahu’s North Shore malingering about. Word spread quickly that the contest was going to go and a palpable thrill hung heavy on that tropical air. I felt watching it would be silly and planned on spending the day in Honolulu, nursing a fine Mai Tai at the Royal Hawaiian. Alas, Stab’s Sam McIntosh was flying in and I picked him up from the airport. I told him that we would not be heading north but rather into town for Mai Tai’s as soon as his luggage had been secured. He gave me an odd look and gently asked if we could maybe try to catch the contest. I told him it was silly but wanted to be a good host so relented.

In retrospect, Sam was right and I was very glad to have witnessed the mayhem.

Live chat, here, tomorrow.

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Gabriel Medina. Icon.
Gabriel Medina. Icon.

Mirror Gabriel Medina Donald Trump snaps top “most striking images of 2024” list!

Surfing has arrived.

It is not Christmas, yet, but as things go, the mainstream media is already churning out “best of ’24” content like New Year’s Day is but a few second hand jives away. Spotify wrapped came out weeks ago, Time Magazine’s Person of the Year was dropped right around that time and the august BBC just released its highly-anticipated “12 of the most striking images of 2024” list.

Can you believe our Gabriel Medina’s Olympic kickout made the cut?

The now-iconic image, which mirrors Donald Trump’s “fight, fight, fight” snap, which, as it happens, also made the bigs.

You know that one, too, and i

Now, I have heard some harsh opinions about the Medina image from many in this our surf community. Surf folk entirely unimpressed with an aerial wave ejection as it is one of the few things any surfer can do. Heard rage, in fact, at “dumb people who like dumb photos.”

It is an arresting image, though, mostly because Medina is in his “model handsome” years, his control and command impeccable, his panache clearly on display. If I am not mistaken, the Brazilian bad boy is the most popular surfer on social media and rightly so. He is not, however, a Pipe Master like Kelly Slater, Jamie O’Brien and now Nathan Florence.

That aside, I’m projecting big things for Medina this year. John John gonna be off tour, Pip’s li’l tail still between his legs and Erin Brooks is on the other side of the draw.

World title number three in grasp?

David Lee Scales and I almost discussed surfing today but ran smack dab into the middle of a conundrum tossed out by a ten-year-old listener. Is the phone-wallet acceptable?

You know the sort, an iPhone or Samsung case which can also hold credit cards. I said absolutely not and set the young man on the right path of keys, wallet and, later, spectacles all being essential elements for the xy set.

Prove me wrong.

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Nathan Florence hailed as saviour of low-budget, no-livestream Vans Pipe Masters

“Nathan Florence WAS the contest. Double duty streaming with epic commentary, and winning the event. Unbelievable.”

The slip-on shoe giant Vans’ own YouTube channel has been carpet bombed by furious surf fans after it was left to team rider Nathan Florence to rescue the Vans Pipe Masters, which wasn’t officially broadcast, with a pirate livestream.

Florence, the reigning waterman and surfer of the year who is better known for stuffing his burn-out rod into mysto cold-water waves, set up his filmer Zoard Janko inside a little tent on the beach, which also served as a commentary booth.

A cavalcade of Pipeline’s best surfers including Jamie O’Brien, Koa Rothman and Nathan’s brother, John John Florence, all took turns calling the event. Even mammy John John, Alex Florence, had a spell calling waves.

The highlight of the pirate stream was Zoard running down the beach with his laptop to film winner Nathan being carted up the beach.

Surf fans weren’t shy to let their feelings known on Vans’ YouTube channel.

A real small sample.

I hope this is the last time VANS sponsors this event. no live stream and late updates, we didn’t even know the finals was on! congrats to nathan florence for winning both in the water and online.

Double up the prizemoney for Nathan for doing the livestream. without that, the pipe masters would have not even happened for everybody who wasn‘t there!!! And honestly, this livestream was waaay better than any official livestream i‘ve ever seen. it was like listening to a 8 hour podcast while watching pipe going crazy. best guests on the stream and didn‘t feel like the guests on the official broadcasts who have to to their sponsor duties.

If not for Nate we never would have seen most of the action. Great surfer doing great things!

This was the nail in the coffin for big brand surfing.

“The greatest show on earth” and yet you had no broadcast and barely functioning live updates. Shame on you.

Talk is cheap. Their actions spoke VOLUMES!!! From trying to keep JOB out of the contest, to reducing the greatest show on earth to an 11 minute jumbled highlight reel. So much better coverage by locals that CARE!!!

Nate and the Florence family won this event. From the live stream to the surfing they absolutely killed it. Vans, not so much.

Nathan Florence WAS the contest. Double duty streaming with epic commentary, and winning the event. Unbelievable. The beach commentary was so much more engaging and entertaining than a regular WSL event. Just bros hanging out and holding back the heckles. Dead space was fine. It was just like every group of guys hanging out. And the camera angle was surprisingly perfect. WSL should take notes. Congratulations to Nathan for not only providing an all around great contest experience for us, but also a great fucking year of content. Aloha.

What kind of kooks get shown up by a vlogger when it comes to coverage? Why even own the rights if you can’t even provide coverage? I’ll take the Florence coverage honestly. It was a real peak in to the North Shore community as well as the event.

Am unsubscribing … Nathan Florence & team is the only channel worth following anymore.

Where does the below-the-line jockey stand? I was a late convert and felt Nathan and Blak Bear’s pirate streams added to the thrill of the event and were, overall, superior to the slicker offering of the WSL.

Anything that mutes Joe Turpel can’t be bad, yeah?

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Connor Lyons charged with child sexual abuse
Conner Lyons, surf coach and WSL surfer, charged with 29 counts of child sexual abuse.

WSL surfer Connor Lyons back behind bars after allegedly deleting child exploitation material while on bail

"He has admitted to not only abusing these children, but filming that abuse against these innocent and vulnerable children.”

It’s gonna be a tough Christmas for WSL surfer and surf coach Connor Lyons after he was arrested for the second time in a week and imprisoned, again, on child sex abuse charges.

Lyons, twenty-six, was first arrested on Sunday and charged with 12 counts of indecent treatment of two kids over a fourteen-month period on both the Sunny and Gold Coasts. Despite police citing Lyons as posing an unacceptable risk to the community, he was granted bail with strict conditions

Yeah, well.

 

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The cops scooped Lyons up on Wednesday and charged him with another fourteen offences including making child exploitation material, grooming, and damaging evidence with intent.

Cops claim that after Lyons got bail, he accessed and deleted child exploitation material from a device at his Mum’s house on the Sunshine Coast.

They also say he admitted deleting the material and that he was involved in other crimes.

 

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A post shared by CONNOR LYONS Surf Coach (@itsconzy)

Lyons now carries 29 charges linked to four alleged child victims, with the heaviest charge carrying a possible 20-year sentence.

Lyons’ lawyer Bradford Hill argued for bail for a second time and said that tough conditions could keep the risk he poses to the community at a manageable level.

Hill emphasised that his client needed “treatment” which would be tougher to get while in jail.

“It would benefit him to start some kind of treatment before sentencing … while on bail,”  Hill said.

Police prosecutor Tegan Smith told the court Lyons confessed to looking at child pornography online for over ten years and that he first messed with kids back in 2018.

Smith said Lyons posed a “major risk to children. It doesn’t matter where he lives … he admits he can’t stop this behavior. The bail conditions to stay away from kids don’t do anything to lessen the risks of his sexual misconduct and predatory actions. He’s admitted not just to abusing these kids, but to filming that abuse of these innocent, vulnerable children…

“He’s confessed to watching that footage again and again, getting off on it … and then, after being given bail, he went and destroyed that evidence of the videos.”

Magistrate Rodney Madsen told Lyons, “there’s absolutely no way you’re getting bail. There’s probably nothing any magistrate could do to make you less of a risk to kids.The only way to keep the community safe from you is to keep you locked up.”

The case was postponed until March next year.

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