The Establishment (pictured) laughing last.
The Establishment (pictured) laughing last.

The “Establishment” laughs last after Volcom shutters all U.S. stores

Fun while it lasted.

The early 1990s were a heady time for extreme sport aficionados. The dawn of a whole new movement. Radical kids pushing surfing, skateboarding, snowboarding harder and further and faster. A DIY mentality shoving out the old, designing the new. It was, for all intents and purposes, youth against establishment.

The defining brand of this whole era, of course, Volcom who not only coined the “youth against establishment” tagline but also represented the sharpest end of the nascent surf industry revolution. Founded in 1991 by Richard Woolcott and Tucker Hall, Volcom quickly established itself as the coolest of the core. After a dizzying decade-ish, the company, now Volcom Inc., went public and raised a then-staggering $89 million. Six years later, the French multinational Kering friendly tookover “The Stone” for a still-staggering $608 million.

Enter the surf industry apocalypse.

Volcom had trouble connecting with the new youth, whose focus had shifted from extreme to maybe online gaming, while also needing to provide shareholder value. Kering dumped the brand to Authentic Brands Group in 2019 who, in turn, licensed Volcom to Liberated Brands who, in turn, heavily discounted Volcom merchandise then went broke and is now liquidating all its Volcom stores after firing all its employees.

Bobby Abdel, a partner at the industry’s biggest account, Jack’s Surfboards told Shop-Eat-Surf of the crazy perpetual sales before the fall, “It impacts all of the clothing business in the surf market – the brands and the retailers. Customers look at everything, and they’ve been 40, 50, 60 percent off. We have to pay rent and pay our employees – we can’t match sales like that. But who are we going to complain to (at Liberated)? Everyone is gone.”

So now no more Volcom stores, or at least in these United States.

Not one.

But do you think that the aforementioned Establishment is sitting back and smirking after wingtip curb stomping Youth?

Take that, plucky youngsters.

Time to let the adults provide shareholder value.

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Rabbit Bartholomew and son Jaggar
Rab, main photo, and son Jaggar, inset.

Surf community rallies around son of Aussie world surf champ Rabbit Bartholomew facing “fight of his life”

"Jaggar Bartholomew is in excruciating pain 24/7 and has been left bedridden and completely debilitated."

We all know of ol’ Wayne “Rabbit” Bartholomew, hell of a surfer, 1978 world champ and the president of the ASP when it pivoted away from crummy beach breaks to a Dream Tour in world-class waves. 

Even in his seventieth year, Bugs is a a master of style, sort of cat that wears peach satin pyjamas, and a real nice man although his skin looks like a week old pie crust that’s been thrown on a Rainbow Bay balcony and ravaged by seagulls. 

Bugs’ kid Jaggar was born in 2001 and like his daddy knows his way around a Gold Coast point.

Unfortunately, Jaggar is going through what has been described as “the toughest battle of his life”, diagnosed with the rare-ish condition Nervus Intermedius Neuralgia. And his pal Luke Altschwager has set up a crowd funding account to get Jaggar through these tough times.

“Nervus Intermedius Neuralgia cruelly features excruciating pain 24/7. All nerves on the left side of his skull, neck, jaw, and vertebrae torture Jaggar with lightning-like attacks stabbing in all different directions throughout his body. Jaggar has been left completely debilitated over the past seven weeks. For the last month, he has been admitted full-time to Gold Coast Hospital, where he is under the expert care of the Acute Pain Team and Neurology, who are working tirelessly to manage his condition and provide some relief from the unrelenting pain.

“In addition to this rare condition, Jaggar is grappling with severe fatigue, the emotional toll of chronic pain, and the challenges of being completely bedridden. Once a vibrant and active individual, his fight to regain some semblance of normal life will require incredible strength, determination, and extensive support.

“The funds raised will help cover essential living costs and significant medical expenses, including a long convalescence and rehabilitation. These funds will be securely held and managed through The Club at Parkwood Village accounts, ensuring every dollar goes directly toward supporting Jaggar in this critical time.”

So far there’s seven gees of twenty in the can. Shaun Tomson, the 1977 world champ, is the top donor with fifteen hundred bucks. Michel Bourez has tossed in five hundred and Bob Hurley five hundred. 

 

 

 

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Surf Instructor (pictured) protected by the Constitution of the United States of America.
Surf Instructor (pictured) protected by the Constitution of the United States of America.

Surf instructor sues Newport Beach over trampling upon his constitutional right to teach surfing!

"The 14th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution also prohibits the city from favoring certain similar beach activities over others."

You learn something new every day, they say, and this morning, I learned that surf instruction may just might be constitutionally protected, enshrined in both the First and Fourteenth Amendments plus, possibly, the Fourth. Jason Murchison, founder of Learn to Surf, is suing the Southern California hamlet of Newport Beach in federal court, alleging the bureaucrats, there, are stomping all over his surf instruction rights.

In his filing, Mr. Murchison claimed, “Aside from being unfair and anticompetitive, the city’s actions are also unconstitutional and unlawful. Under the First Amendment to the United States Constitution, the city cannot prohibit Mr. Murchison from instructing others on how to surf. The 14th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution also prohibits the city from favoring certain similar beach activities over others.”

All the fancy law talk ain’t just a coinkydink. Before embracing the surf instructor life, Mr. Murchison was a Navy diver then a lawyer but gave up his practice to teach the sport of kings. His beef with Newport Beach extends back to 2016 when the city ticketed him for teaching the aforementioned sport of kings without a city contract and sued him in state court.

It was settled in 2017.

Newport Beach City Attorney Aaron Harp released a statement declaring, “I was surprised that a separate lawsuit was filed related to this matter because the city has been litigating similar issues with Mr. Murchison for years.” He added, “Overall, protecting the public by having rules and regulations that govern how public property is used by private companies is good for everyone and the city will continue to allow independent contractors (that follow the rules) to provide services to the public in Newport Beach.”

According to Courthouse News Service:

Murchison’s claims include violations of his First Amendment right to freedom of speech and his Fourth Amendment right to equal protection, illegal monopolization of surf and stand-up paddle board instruction, attempted monopolization of surf instruction, and violation of the California Coastal Act.

Who knew that the Founding Fathers were so into stopping the “illegal monopolization of surf and stand-up paddle board instruction, attempted monopolization of surf instruction.”?

Something new everyday.

The Fourteenth Amendment grants citizenship, prohibits discrimination and punishes states that restrict voting rights amongst other protections, for the constitutionally-curious amongst us.

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Kelly Slater at Pipe Pro 2025
The GOAT braying will persist any time he’s near a surf competition, and that’s not all his fault. But the reality is stark. Slater won just three heats in the whole of the 2024 season, (two were in Tahiti). In 2023, he notched just five heat wins. | Photo: WSL/Tony Huff

World surf tour opener disappoints at sub-par Pipeline, “Once again it’s a fever dream tour of what might be”

"All the bluster, all the build up, and here we are back praying for waves…"

Well Hello, tenuous internet friends!

Been a long time, shouldn’t have left you…etc

Yet the beat of the WSL remains very much the same.

Or as my old man was wont to say in the mildly-racist-through-ignorance landscape of 1990s west Scotland, “Same darkie, different haircut.”

Though I, for one, am delighted the WSL is back. If only as a convenient scapegoat for all manner of personal failings.

As you may not know nor care, I’m currently writing a book. Which apparently involves substance abuse and indulgence of vices left, right and hither. All mostly in lieu of actually writing publishable words.

So it follows that watching hours of live surfing and calling it work feels very liberating.

But it’s a feeling, one might imagine, akin to Stockholm Syndrome, this unrepentant urge to greedily gulp down the monotone platitudes of Joe Turpel, the amphetamine wittering of Kaipo Guerrero, and the flatlining back up acts of Jesse and Flick; and yet to simultaneously hate them with all of your being.

Then hate yourself more for wanting them.

But consume them we will.

And once again it’s a fever dream tour of what might be. All the bluster, all the build up, and here we are back praying for waves at sub-par Pipeline.

It was a party of fours and fives. The only score going into the “Excellent” range was a flat eight for a Jack Robinson barrel to open his heat, but that looked juiced.

 

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They went stat crazy in the booth, regardless. But the analytics customary in Americanised sport remain an awkward fit for the loose parameters of pro surfing.

Still, Kaipo persisted on introducing one meaningless stat after another. The screen graphics did little to add to my understanding, or the perceived relevance.

Here are some stats of my own: just 33.33% of male surfers managed heat totals in double figures today. 50% of those occurred in just two heats. In these heats, 100% of the surfers scored double figure totals.

How do you like them apples, Kaipo?

The scoring was testament to the judge’s silent insistence that barrels were the only maneuver that would score.

It makes sense at Pipe, of course, but only if the waves are sufficient. There were some tubes on offer, mainly at Backdoor and the opaque Aints.

But the stubborn refusal of the judges to allow the surfing to suit the conditions is confounding.

Sure, none of us really want to see a comp at Pipe based on airs, but if that’s what’s dictated by the conditions on offer, then so be it. Furthermore, is this not communicated to the surfers clearly? Or do they just ignore the stated criteria by now?

Several surfers performed stylish airs to only paltry reward. Yago Dora being one example. He’ll surf in the elimination round as a result.

An interesting note was that Dora has separated work and family business by extracting himself from his father’s coaching stable. No more awkward match-ups with Robinson then.

On coaches, if we heard once today what a wild and wacky personality Doug Silva is, we heard it fifty times. Apropos of what, I’m unsure. Seth Moniz winning his heat, maybe? Silva was nowhere to be seen. Joe and Ross outsourced for energy nonetheless.

Another little Turpel quirk to pay attention to this season (we might as well make it a drinking game) is how often he refers to something (in monotone) as “another great story” or words to that effect. According to Turpel, there are always “so many great stories”.

I’m yet to hear one.

However, we did get a slightly less judgy version of Mumsnet for a while as a pregnant Carissa Moore joined Turpel. Predictably, everything was wonderful, and challenging, and blessed. Carissa and Joe with the baby-joy vibe. Harmlessly saccharine.

My favourite performers in the water were Jordy Smith and Ian Gouveia, both of whom emoted vigorously on a lacklustre day.

For Jordy, it was sheer froth. A self-described “mad surf dog”, Smith answered the unasked questions about what he’s still doing on Tour.

“I love surfing. I love competing. The life we have is incredible. Until something better comes along, this is it.”

Right on, Jordy, I found myself saying. I feel you, brother.

Gouveia, too, was full of gratitude for being back on Tour after a seven-year absence. He’d thrown everything at a last ditch effort to qualify, apparently. Making it back was clearly meaningful. He struggled to compose himself “on the glass”, as they say. Not only had he made it back, but he had dispatched John Florence and Eli Hanneman at Pipeline, albeit all three men were separated by just 0.21 points.

 

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Other returning heroes included Filipe Toledo and Kelly Slater.

Filipe got the job done today, as pro surfers are so blandly fond of saying.

It was “easy, small”, he said. “No big risks out there.”

Everything he’s prayed for.

No-one had asked him about his conditions or his fear. Clearly it still lurks, crocodile-like, somewhere very near the surface.

If there is a god, surely Kelly Slater has been closer to her than most. But not for some time.

More stats for you:

It was Slater’s first heat win at Pipe since 2022, but his 99th there of all time.

After the opening round of the first event of the 2025 season, Kelly Slater has won a third of the number of heats he won in the entirety of last season.

The GOAT braying will persist any time he’s near a surf competition, and that’s not all his fault. But the reality is stark. Slater won just three heats in the whole of the 2024 season, (two were in Tahiti). In 2023, he notched just five heat wins.

It’s been a long time between drinks. Today, he won with a grubby looking board. He hadn’t surfed in five weeks, he said. A well-worn Slater trope.

 

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But something old, something new. Today was the first chance to digest the Tour rookies.

Al Cleland is creating a stir. He has family pedigree, an admirable aesthetic, and the quirk of being the first ever Mexican surfer to make the WCT. He squeaked through to the round of 32 between Jack Robinson and Liam O’Brien. Though one might assume the forecast doesn’t play to his expected skill set.

Of the rookies, Frenchman Marco Mignot was the standout, winning his heat against Joao Chianca and Ryan Callinan.

The lack of French surfers on the WCT over the course of history remains something to ponder.

Australia’s George Pittar will also avoid the elimination round. So too Brazil’s Edgard Groggia (fantastic name!)

But Joel Vaughan and Jackson Bunch will need to slog it out with more established surfers, including Dora and Griffin Colapinto, if they want to stay in the competition.

Overall, some interest but no fireworks.

The comp is off for a couple of days due to the abysmal forecast. Welcome back to groundhog day.

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Could Ian Gouvia (insert) unite the clans?
Could Ian Gouvia (insert) unite the clans?

Europe on brink after surfing federation moves HQ from England to France in response to Brexit

The 100 Years' War redux.

British and French surfers awoke, this morning, with much uncertainty haunting hearts. The centuries-old blood feud betwixt the two proud nations threatening to explode. From ancient grudge break to new mutiny, where civil blood makes civil hands unclean.

Like, yikes.

The cause of the tension was not Marco Mignot being described as a “French Mexican” during the Lexus Pipe Pro broadcast but something much closer to home. Namely, the European Surfing Federation’s announced plan to move its headquarters from Penzance, in the district of Cornwall, across the Channel to France’s Lacanau in order to be “closer to European Union institutions post-Brexit.”

Jean-Luc Arassus, president, told The Times, “The federation is looking for funding to develop its activities and it makes sense to be headquartered within the European Union. But that’s not the only argument; Lacanau is very committed to promoting surfing and it is giving us an office in the town hall. We will inaugurate the new headquarters on Saturday by holding our annual general meeting there.”

While there is little doubt that French surfers will throw rose petals at Lacanau’s town hall during the annual general meeting, there is no clear read on what broken-hearted British surfers might do. A worst case scenario sees a re-ignition of the 100 Years’ War in which was triggered by a claim to the French throne from England’s Edward III.

Much blood shed.

Back to Marco Mignot, though. Were you inspired by Baby Pipe or did you curse yourself for ever getting involved with professional competitive surfing in the first place?

I found myself in the latter camp until Ian Gouveia’s interview wherein he openly wept about being back in the singlet. What a moment.

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