"If the Surfer falls, who then wields the awesome Power Cosmic?"

If there is one bit of surf-adjacent kitsch that I’ve properly never understood, it is the Silver Surfer. As a surf enthusiastic child, I figured the metallic fins-free longboarder was the character for me, seeing that “Surfer” was in his name. Every time I tried to get properly invested, though, I was rebuffed by the incomprehensible. Namely, the Silver Surfer did not surf in the ocean or any sort of wave, but zoomed around space. He did not come from earth, but from a planet called Zenn-La that he saved from a bad guy named Galactus by becoming his slave. He was eventually exiled to earth but didn’t surf in the ocean there, either, even though he had a finless longboard.

Plus other Scientology-esque oddities.

Jack Kirby, who created the character in 1966, explained, “My conception of the Silver Surfer was a human being from space in that particular form. He came in when everybody began surfing — I read about it in the paper. The kids in California were beginning to surf. I couldn’t do an ordinary teenager surfing so I drew a surfboard with a man from outer space on it.

Well, hot news has dropped, this morning, the industry source ComicBook announced publication of Death of the Silver Surfer, a five-issue series, that will drop June 6, 2025.

“The SILVER SURFER returns to defend a war-ravaged Earth,” the synopsis reads, “but Norrin Radd (the Silver Surfer’s real name) has a galaxy-sized target on his back. A new enemy will stop at nothing to steal away everything the Surfer is or ever will be. A single human life may be all that decides the Surfer’s salvation…or damnation. If the Surfer falls, who then wields the awesome Power Cosmic? And what of the Surfer’s old master, Galactus, Devourer of Worlds?!”

Good riddance, as far as I’m concerned.

We already have Kelly Slater and he is more than enough.

“Revel Surf is a place where the small envision big and the broke feel rich..."

California surfers awoke, this morning, with cars packed for an exciting surf adventure. They made themselves hot cups of coffee, sprinkled with Laird Superfood Creamer, checked the air pressure in the tires, found the new FKA Twigs album on Spotify then pointed east, away from the ocean, to the newest, and closest, surf tub.

Revel Surf, in Mesa, Arizona, has officially swung its gates wide freeing the aforementioned wave sliders from the whims of Mammy Nature. The swell lagoon utilizes Wavegarden technology and offers four levels of experience. Level I, “Learn to Surf,” costs $119 per session. Level II, “San O,” costs $129 and is for those who enjoy longboarding in manmade waves. Level III, “The Bu,” also at $129, promises “a small point wave that will be a little bigger and faster than San O.” Level IIII, “Lowers,” bumps up to $139 and is the high-performance offering.

Sessions average 10 – 12 waves per participant.

Founder Cole Cannon bullishly declared, “Revel Surf is a place where the small envision big, the broke feel rich, and immutable memories are forged daily. Revel Surf at Cannon Beach truly is the intersection of lifestyle and adrenaline.”

I am broke but would like more than to just feel rich. I would like to be rich too.

The beach portion is free until Feb. 28 and features sand imported from Florida’s panhandle. How much do you reckon a pound of panhandle sand goes for on the open market?

Can I get rich there?

I imagine trucking sand across the contiguous 47, from Pensacola to Mesa would also be at the intersection of lifestyle and adrenaline.

Very cool.

Tears in Hawaii today.

Slip out the back, J-Bay. Make a new plan, Snapper. Hop on the bus, Belharra, we don’t need to discuss much, other than none of you is the best place to surf in the world. Neither is Pipeline, Cloudbreak, Micronesia, Lower Trestles, Abu Dhabi, Salina Cruz, the Algarve, Margaret River, Skeleton Bay, Cloud 9, Canggu, Steamer Lane or Puerto Escondido.

In a shock twist that has staggered surfers, worldwide, that honor has been awarded to Florida’s New Smyrna Beach by the powers vested in Southern Living magazine.

New Smyrna, located northeast of Orlando, south of Jacksonville, is praised for its user friendly waves, relaxing laidback vibe and glittering surf stars, including Kelly Slater, Evan Geiselman and Lisa Andersen.

Left out was Eric Geiselman.

Southern Living swoons, “New Smyrna is beloved among East Coast surfers because it offers some of the most consistent swells in the region. Though most waves don’t get much bigger than a few feet high (unless it’s hurricane season), you’re pretty much guaranteed to wrangle a set to ride during any time of year. Completely flat days are few and far between.”

Also left out was Aaron “Gorkin” Cormican.

Let’s remember him, together, here.