"Thanks Surfline 80 guys out by the afternoon. I just love social media."

Four weeks ago the world was turned on its head when surf-forecaster Surfline sacked its Australian editor, the legacy surf journalist Nick Carroll, brother of the two-time world champion Tom Carroll.

The plan to disappear Carroll, along with his talented photography sidekick Hannah Anderson, became evident when Surfline started burying their work beneath layers of cams and weather reports.

Carroll, sixty-five, took up the post in 2019, quickly shelving his duties as a popular below-the-line commenter on BeachGrit for the prestigious well-paid position. Readers still reminisce about Carroll’s lightly hectoring older brother tone and a relative candour not seen in his published work.

The ramifications of the Surfline blood-letting have now been laid bare in the post-Carroll era with a horrifyingly tone-deaf post on Instagram, a post that would never have seen the light of day, as they say, if Carroll was still behind the wheel.

A by-product of TC Alfred has been the lighting up of novelty waves inside harbours, rivermouths and so on. The surf media has, historically, taken a light hand to running photos or video of these waves, most of ‘em rare and guarded by a strict code of localism.

So when one of the best harbour waves in the country was presented by Surfline on Instagram, surfers reacted with horror.

 

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Social media and Surfline ruined surfing.

You guys need an ethical policy. Give ups! How do you treat your mates when they get trouble? Filthy. Broken a basic rule yet you pretend to be a surf site

another local spot falls victim to surfline

I hate Surfline

kooks

Crowd will get even worse now

When one local surfer Wayne Curtis complained, Thanks, surfline 80 guys out by the afternoon. I just love social media, a light imbroglio followed.

Surfline replied, This is from a few days ago, mate. We waited till everyone had their fill.

Which seemed a fine riposte until the curtain of lies was ripped back by a local surfer.

it wasn’t breaking a few days ago. Yesterday at the earliest. Love the overexposure

And,

no one’s falling for your bs

Piss off, wait a week you nobs

Other local surfers pointed out the negatives of the wave.

Filthy water, bits of metal on the bottom, razor sharp oysters on the rocks, bull sharks, great white sharks and floating dog turds. Otherwise it’s paradise. Good to see Jacko didn’t follow the other sheep to the Goldy and charged this hectic slab instead.

The thing with this spot is everyone knows everyone so if you are not from the area there’s next to no chance of getting a good one. Plus this size is not even worth it!

 

 

"That fun comes at a cost."

It would be a foolhardy man who questioned the surfing bona fides of Coolangatta’s Joel Parkinson: the forty-three year old was the world champion in 2012 and a runner up to the crown four times, 2002, 2004, 2009, and 2011.

Parkinson was noted for his stylish approach to surfing waves big and small, a fan favourite it could be said, and for wearing a t-shirt after his world title win that read, “I Finally Fucking Won!” 

Since retirement, the daddy to three girls has earned a reputation as a Coolangatta local not to be messed with. 

You’ll remember two years ago when Parkinson was at the centre of a “wild Gold Coast pell-mell involving mud-sliding, tiktok, ageism and alleged hand-to-hand contact!” 

Chas Smith reported, 

Only those living under a rock will be unaware that, days ago, Parkinson approached a group of prepubescent twenty-five-year-olds enjoying a mud slide and told them to knock it off. They appeared to back-sass kicking off a wild pell-mell where it was alleged that the Billabong star knocked a camera into the muck. Then, yesterday, news footage came to light that appeared to color the 2012 Association of Professional Surfing tour winner in a hypocritical light as he, himself, had partaken in the mud sliding earlier.

Well, in the new angle, Parkinson’s frustration is on stark display, a raging bull snorting, pawing the ground, charging at various older youngsters. Was he angry that they were dropping into his secret spot? Frustrated by the clear lack of testosterone hanging in Coolangatta’s mist?

Gold Coast locals were divided on the melee, some siding with the Champ, others with the YouTubers. 

Now, fears Parkinson may, again, be forced to use the powers of citizen policing after cyclonic rains from TC Alfred  turned the usually grassy hill into a mudslide. Dozens of thrillseekers braved the weather for the ride of a lifetime.

The fun may not last long, howevs.

Australians, brought up under the colonial whip of their British jailers and yet to escape the master-servant relationship with authorities, rarely miss a moment to report any breaking of rule.

“That fun comes at a cost, unfortunately,” Gold Coast councillor Gail O’Neill told 7News in 2022. “It looks disgusting. It’s a muddy mess. It looks like it’s going to have to be re-turfed. That cost could come up anywhere near $10,000.”

Parkinson, who was dubbed “Koolie Karen” after the 2022 imbroglio, is yet to be spotted although town on knife-edge etc.

@hayley.tiahn Slip & slide anyone? #cyclone #cyclonealfred #queensland #goldcoast #queenslandcyclone #aussies #australia #australian #australians ♬ Men at work down under Luude Remix – Luude