Watch Filipe Toledo in “Like Joan of Arc I will go up in a blaze of flames!”

Let fingers graze little circles around your nipples… 

Any sort of clip dump by Filipe Toledo is going to have you hanging your head in impressed jealousy. I inhale his intoxicants and drink his moonshine with the tenacity of a cornered rat.

I am a fan, yes.

This sub-three minute short from Toledo’s live-in filmer Bruno Baroni, clips gathered from their recent three week stay on Australia’s Gold Coast, shows Toledo’s switchblade raining down in fast vicious swoops.

Like a bird piercing a water’s surface to snatch up its prey, Toledo’s blade cuts loose and, just as bird-like, his fluid motions are effortless.


Watch Griffin Colapinto in: “I feel awakened to every minute nuance of the earth!”

Bury your face inside the precious silk folds of Griffin Colapinto's kimono!

Griffin Colapinto’s surfing is slicker than cum on gold teeth, as the street slang goes.

What is it, do you think, that gives his surfing its potency?

The boy himself, with that irresistible wide-eyed virginal look, ain’t…dangerous…or nothing.

Griff, who will turn twenty-one in July, looks like a crazy bouncing ball on a wave. There are the precarious, hysterical movements, tail-throws lofted towards the beach and so on, wrapped in gorgeous curves, or wraps as they say on the WSL broadcast.

He ain’t Italo Ferreira or Filipe Toledo, whose servings are intoxicating and breathtaking.

But, there’s a decidedly delicate quality to Griffin that I can’t quite put my finger on.

Watch etc.

Watch: Kolohe Andino in “I’m gonna blow you out!”

Muscle flexing from the world number two in Santa Cruz…

Three weeks ago, in response to Kolohe Andino’s previous video reveal, the writer Longtom asked, Is the White-Bread Era of Surfing Over? 

Brother surfed pretty sharp in Home-ish but five years behind the top Brazilian cohort. For speed, repertoire, innovation Kolohe and pals look in their dotage compared to Italo, Filipe. Shaded by power and the brutality of baroque turns by Gabriel.

Only in style and variety of grabs does Kolohe have an edge, but will judges be capable of discerning? Kolohe is, after all, the most torched surfer on Tour.

History, of course, tells us that Kolohe finished second in the first event of the season. He lost to the Brazilian Italo Ferreira, whose ability to add an extra 180 degrees to his spins sealed his win.

This short film, a reel of outs from Home-ish, shows the Yankee in Santa Cruz sending spray into the air like little jellyfish tentacles.

It’s pretty good.

Watch: Raw footage of brave Jetski pilot drowning his little boat after failed Nazaré rescue attempt!

Beautiful, scary, sad and funny!

Don’t it feel good to see the holy fire unleash just a little?

In these four minutes of raw footage, from a February swell at Nazaré in Portugal, we see a jetski pilot try to rescue his tow-buddy only for the Lord to come at him in an epileptic-like fit of rage.

From the filmer Pedro Miranda:

Here we see Portuguese big wave surfer and airline pilot, Salvador Villas Boas (51 ys old) charging one of the biggest waves of the day on the first peak at Nazaré during a monster swell in February 2019.

Salvador rides the wave until a bump makes him fall of his board on the most dangerous zone of Praia do Norte near the rocks and impact zone. The wipeout was gruesome, with Salvador hitting the water at nearly 50mph, the whole scene resembled a car accident and in a few seconds after first impact, Salvador is pulled back over the falls and hits the water a second time, suffering an extensive hold down period before finally resurfacing.

The moments that followed the wipeout were a matter of life and dead, this wave was not the last wave of the Set, there was more to come and Salvador’s position on impact zone and near the rocks demanded immediate rescue. This is when Ramon Laureano, a Portuguese-Brazilian professional Jetski Rescuer comes into play, he had been following Salvador from behind the wave, and knew the situation demanded a rescue on first attempt. In normal circumstances, this rescue would’ve been made after a second wave, but Ramon knew the potential implications of Salvador getting caught in the impact zone, and attempted the rescue anyway in the short window of opportunity he got.

He successfully picks up Salvador at the very last second, and speeds up away from the area, while avoiding being swallowed by the giant wall of white water. This ended up happening a few moments later with his Jetski being capsized by white water, but on a very different area of Praia do Norte, away from the rocks and much closer to the beach.

Watch Jordy Smith in “Great waves are apocalyptic!”

Come with Jordan, the African, as he traverses north to the fabled sandbottom points of…oh… can you guess? Can you get close?

Late at night, when the wife has gone to bed and feigned sleep and you’ve finished jerking off into the toilet bowl, a man’s thoughts turn to where he might go to ride a wave alone.

Sometimes it’s West Sumatra, sometimes the beachbreaks of mainland Mex, maybe insanely cold and stupidly expensive countries like Iceland.

Or, like Jordan, here, it’s a staple in a country a short propellor ride northward into former Portuguese territory.

Or is it?

Does it matter?

Where does this wave rate in the pantheon of greats, even at a shadow of itself as shown here, and what would you throw down, what indignity would you suffer to ride it?

Or, like me, do you think, Waco, Waco, Waco.