Grave fears held for brother of US Surf Olympian Nathan Florence and teenage boy after attempted paddle-out in conditions that killed five Dutch surfers! “Rescue would have been near impossible!”

"Stuck in down-drafts of boils in the water felt like it wanted to pull you down below!"

Four months ago, Nathan Florence, a man previously described as “extremely intelligent and extremely capable”, scored the wave of the year at a remote Sumatran reef, making the point there’s more than one star in the Florence family.

 

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In the latest instalment of his excellent YouTube series, however, Florence had spectators fearing the worst after he and his seventeen-year-old Scottish pal paddled out a wave Florence himself describes as “very, very sketchy… (Because of) foam couldn’t sense direction or see if sets were approaching and just hearing five surfers died in Netherlands last year getting stuck in foam! What a spookfest! Stuck in down-drafts of boils in the water felt like it wanted to pull you down below while you paddled, meanwhile large sets approaching. All in all not a safe session …rescue would have been near impossible if injury was sustained.”

Harrowing!


Hawaii’s outrageous Queen of Crazy Mason Ho divides internet with schlock horror edit, “Your mother sucks c**ks in Hell, you faithless slime!”

A blazing labyrinth from which there is no escape!

Mason Ho is a pert, trim man in his thirties with oriental cheekbones sweeping down to a rosebud mouth. He is handsome as are 99.9 percent of Americans born in Hawaii to mixed heritage.

(A little background: Mason’s daddy Mike Ho is of Chinese-Hawaiian-American heritage, daddy pure Chinese, grand mammy pure Hawaiian. Mason’s mama Brian is a Caucasian American.)

In this latest episode of Mason’s adventures at the Waco tank, delivered to celebrate All Hallow’s Day, happy Mason is presented with a diabolical snarl.

A time of excitement and pleasure.


Hawaiian surf great John John Florence almost dies alone at notorious European big-wave spot following blow to the head, “He woke up underwater!”

"Fascinating, compulsive, horrifying!"

The middle brother of the storied Florence triumvirate, the Only Fans superstar Nathan, has revealed the near-death of his older brother Johnny at a Portuguese wave called Sete Bafos aka the Cave.

Like most slabs, the joint, which is accessed via a little dirt road north of the soft right Ribeira d’Ilhas, was pioneered by bodyboarders before a few surfers threw on helmets and figured it out.

“Heads of rocks stick out of the water right in the line you’ve gotta take to to make it. You never know what to expect out there — the ride of your life or a ticket to hell,” says German-Portuguese surfer Nic Von Rupp. “Many surfers have broken backs out there.”

In this new video from Nathan Florence’s YouTube channel, an otherwise gorgeous travelogue of Nathan’s trip to Portugal with his girl and filmed in such high definition you can almost make out his heady gristle, Nathan reveals how his brother warned him of the wave’s myriad dangers.

“The Cave is the most notorious wave in Portugal, mainly due to the amount of accidents here,” says Nathan. “Really bad injuries…broken backs… (people) knocked unconscious. My brother John said he was knocked unconscious here surfing alone…he definitely warned me the wave is gnarly and it was the one place he’d ever been knocked unconscious underwater by the reef.”

Not your usual cocktail and orgasm short! All rock and cock!

 


Brazilian real estate developer pulls curtain back on ambitious new wave pool surfers are calling “the most high-performance wave on earth!”

"I defy you to watch this video and come away with a mind unchanged."

For a million dollars or thereabouts, well-heeled surfers can buy their way into a private community built around a wave pool surfers are calling the “most high-performance wave in the world.”

The Brazilian developer of Boa Vista Village, a planned community one-and-a-half hours from the madness of the twelve million souls living in São Paulo, has just pulled back the curtain on its American Wave Machines tank that sits in the middle of three residential towers named Malibu, Laguna and Pebble.

It’s real big, six acres or twice the size of the fabled Waco tank, there’s a double air section (“The Double Shot”) and every sorta configuration you can imagine, and plenty you’d never thought of beyond wildest dreams etc.

American Wave Machines call it their most ambitious build, yet.

The wave at six minutes is ridiculous.

In?

Buy here, although it could be a bit of a zoo by the looks of the drawings. 


Weird Waves aficionado Dylan Graves gives most compelling look yet at soon-to-be-demolished “Mad Max” wavepool in country Australia, “We got to surf an engineering marvel!”

"Surf trips always seem to surprise me but this one just had a little extra something."

That wild-looking plunger pool in central Queensland is gonna be demolished and rebuilt as a public tank, opening, I’d guess, end of 2024.

The original tank, y’see, was built as a test facility, cheap concrete lined the bottom and the wave-making plunger was only designed to bounce up and down 150,000 times and wasn’t built to commercial specs.

Breakdowns became the stuff of legend,.

When Tim Baker, widely considered to be the best surf journalist in the biz, visited the joint on a press junket he reported,

“There are frequent delays while they tinker with the machinery or attend to glitches in the system. When a crack in the lake’s cement floor begins turning the water from an aqua blue to a muddy brown we are encouraged to help lug rocks from an on-site quarry into a trailer to help plug the cracks.

“By the end of the second day, it appears we may have pushed the Surf Lakes prototype to its limits. There’s a lengthy delay in the afternoon to attend to some mechanical issue, and when we eventually resume, after only a couple of sets, Occy sounds the alarm that something’s not quite right. The large concrete tower that the air compressor sits on top of looks dangerously off kilter. The force of the swells has knocked it off its footings and we are asked to clear the water immediately.”

Anyway, the almost-forty-year-old Puerto Rican Dylan Graves, a favourite of BeachGrit, visited Yeppoon recently.

In this compelling short documentary, he acts out the drama of Surf Lakes for our entertainment; his look, the hair falling to his shoulders, the very good but still accessible surfing, the vivacity, creates the cumulative effect of us all longing to be alongside Dylan Graves chasing pool waves.

Essential