Two-time world surfing champ John John Florence releases all black-and-white and infra-red film four years in the making; gifts viewer “the orgasm-of-the-eye passion that an art fanatic lavishes upon the most fabulous piece in his collection!”

If you don't fall asleep there's plenty to look at… 

Who remembers what happened in 2017, apart from the media’s fixation on the ungodly Trump and a royal engagement that would tear hell out of a once-noble family etc?

It was, of course, the last time John John Florence would win a world title, shaking the little pro surfing world down and swimming a river of blood to snatch his second crown at Pipeline.

(He came second to Jeremy Flores at the Pipe Masters, if you’ll recall, enough to secure win.)

This film, Le Vieux Monde Rouge, which translates from French, roughly, to “She squeezed herself around his iron hard-on and rubbed its heady gristle against her stiffening little dingus”, contains never released footage from the European leg of that year’s tour, captured by an EPIC X Monochrome camera, hitting infra-red here and there.

Essential.

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Mason Ho licks epic Ala Moana bowl clean in, “I wouldn’t be able to differentiate between this phenomenon and a volcano erupting!”

Beloved Hawaiian drives forward into the seat of creation… 

In the case of Ala Bowl, next to the Ala Wai Yacht Harbor there in Honolulu, it’s a wave that stands up like a hammer and twists like an eel. 

Even if surf media has long ceased to be interested in her contortions, for father-son combo Mason and Michael Ho good Bowls is enough to scream a barbaric yawp of utter adoration. 

Ala Moana, which is Hawaiian for “Ocean Street”, is a man-made wave, “dynamite-blasted into existence when the Ala Wai Harbor entrance was rerouted from nearby Kewalo Basin in 1952, producing a deep-water channel for waves to spill into.”

Total victory for the Ho’s, in this instance. 

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Hawaii’s queen of crazy Mason Ho reveals latest secret wave in “With a quiver of exquisite pleasure he touched the warm soft water and touched her wetness for a moment in a kiss!”

How many times have we seen Mason, from Sunset Beach, clinging to his flying trapeze, every fibre of his skin at breaking point?

Mason Ho is an inspiration for his “new, soft, heavy, hot flow.”

How many times have we seen Mason, the thirty two year old from Sunset Beach, clinging to his flying trapeze, every fibre of his skin at breaking point?

And while trying to postpone the inevitable fall, giving an impression of ease and grace?

This is the artist’s compulsion, the obsessive pursuit of the masterpiece.

In this latest episode of Mason’s adventures, this boy-man, who has the soul of a beautiful, imperious and passionate woman, yet locked into the body of a middling male physique, possesses yet another secret wave in Indonesia.

Such great balance and exuberance.

Essential.

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Santa Barbara father-of-three Dane Reynolds makes surprise surf hit of the summer, “I picture the human mind as a movie screen. We are the absolute bosses of that whole theatre and show in our minds!”

"I'm bullshit proof!"

There is no reason, except a stupid one, for anyone to project on a screen anything that will dull that vital edge. 

And here we find the filmmaker and go-for-broke surfer Dane Reynolds, at the end of his thirty-sixth year, in the midst of maturity full of pain.

The famous daddy-body is heavy, massive like the country that gave him birth. Short arms, dainty hands.

Yet when he surfs he becomes like a cowboy of the Westerns: ready to fire his guns at the drop of a hat, getting into a rage at the least provocation.

In this latest episode of Chapter 11 TV, Reynolds with filmers Hunter Martinez, Mini Blanchard  and Andrew Schoener, has constructed a fine collection of local surfers from Oxnard, that tragic westside slum inhabited by poverty-mauled whites. 

“A medley of my friends and I surfing our favorite zones over the past winter and hopefully captures the essence of our surf community,” says the former world number four. 

Too many highlights to list. Essential etc. 

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Two-time world champion surfer John John Florence rinses off shock Olympic failure with unmissable short film, “Rhythm is something you either have or don’t have, but when you have it, you have it all over!”

A gift, I don’t think is overstating things, from the media house of John John Florence and the makers of the inclusive surf-hijab, Florence Marine X. 

This ten-minute film was shot during  John John’s Australian campaign, which yielded a ninth, a seventeenth and a ruined knee.

The film is a welcome balm for JJF fans after he sensationally withdrew from the next two events of the championship tour last week, a season ending decision given his current rating outside the world title showdown top five.  

Florence’s lunge for Olympic gold, of course, was derailed in round three by fellow American Kolohe Andino. 

This film is all cherries, no pips. 

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