Watch Chip Wilson, Oz Wright, Geiselman bros in “Waco is (was) the centre of the action!”

A dazzling eleven-minute feature from What Youth…

Life really does move at a frenetic pace. One minute you’re the belle of the ball, tucking loose hair back into your French braid, the next you’re smelling like a barroom slut, fresh makeup covering swollen eyes.

The wave pool in Waco, Texas, had a meteoric rise to stardom after the Hawaiian Cheyne Magnusson worked the levers to produce the best wedge anyone had ever seen anywhere, ocean or pool. Suddenly, that central Texas city who’d only just worn off the stigmata of its murderous religious  siege twenty-five years earlier, was the king of the world.

And, then, a Jersey surfer died a couple of weeks after surfing in the pool’s unfiltered water, which led to the joint being closed until next March.

This edit, from our dear pals at What Youth (Hello Tom Carey, you’re still number one!) squeezes a big blue ball of Crest into your mouth. Ever so sweet but with a sting as it goes down your throat.

You can watch, but you can’t have. At least not until mid 2019.

Do watch.

Watch Noah Cohen and Pete Devries in “Finely boned and velvet Scottish tubes!”

Two Canadians park 'emselves inside North Atlantic slabs…

This six-minute film by Ben Gulliver, with ample assistance from cinematographer Marcus Paladino, is the sort that stands out among the scabrous network of needle tracks we call “edits.”

In this film, called Highland, Gulliver pulls back a black silk spread and reveals Scotland’s wonderfully cold and flawlessly tailored righthand tubes.

If the vibe is similar, you’re thinking Sea Wolf, the film he made with Chippa Wilson, Balaram Stack and the two stars of Highland, Canadians Noah Cohen and Pete Devries.

It’s all very jazzy and nightclub sexy, a late-era Kai Neville (think: Brian Eno tracks) dragged to the outer reaches of the British Kingdom.

Click play, above, for Highland. And, below, the trailer for Sea Wolf. Both worth looping your shorts around your ankles. Virile despite the cold.

Albee Layer and Matt Meola star in “Surfing cannot be surfing without greatness!”

An eight-minute edit that defies most physical laws.

This edit, which is called Polylemma and made by the renowned Take Shelter studio, brings the old Maui gang of Matt Meola and Albee Layer together again.

Albee, twenty-eight, and who looks like a cottage cheese ball, and Matt, twenty-nine, who is a country-listening, white trash, hillbilly jackrabbit, squirt and slash and pull the horn chain in ways that suggest you damn well better watch.

The pair draw hallucinogenic geometric lines and, if I was a Baptist, I’d be giving praises and hallelujahs each time a double spin or spindle flip is landed.

What’s a polylemma? It’s a souped-up version of a dilemma but instead of one solution you got a few.

Now, relax ’em.

Watch: Jamie O’Brien in “The 10 Wipeouts That Made Me the Woman I Am Today!”

Hear me roar!

Jamie O’Brien’s weekly Vlog has been the surprise hit of the year. A guilty treat like taking out your surfboards and laying them tenderly on the bed or hard kisses that leave little flecks of blood on your lips.

Four months ago, you’ll remember, Jamie, who is thirty-five, was treated to a cupful of his own mortality when he was hit from behind by a wave and pushed face-first into a Waikiki break wall.

“It almost knocked me out just hitting my hand. I almost died at one-foot Waikiki. I almost died at one-foot Waikiki. Frick. I got so lucky. I was thinking about it a lot. You do all this crazy shit your whole career, crazy waves, sitting yourself on fire, and you almost die at one-foot Waikiki. Death is a stone’s throw away, always, but to realise that. I was overwhelmed. It was one of the heaviest moments of my life. I still trip out when I watch the clip. That night, I was laying in bed, thinking, that I almost died at Waikiki. Literally.”

In this week’s episode, Jamie takes us through the 10 worst wipeouts from the series. Canoes at Sunset. Rope slings, A ten-foot shorebreak. Board transfers at Backdoor.

Close your eyes and let Jamie O rock and caress you.

Watch: Russell Bierke being served honeymoon dick at monster Nazare yesterday!

His tiny antlers get sucked!

The Australian Russell Bierke is one surfer who is prepared to pay, what Hawaiians call, “the ultimate price.”

Two years ago, he was blue as a Smurf” and “on all fours spewing” after a wipeout in fifteen waves in Victoria, an injury that put him in intensive care.

Yesterday, Russell warmed his paws under the skirt of Portugal’s Nazare, but only briefly.

The result was unpretty.

“This was by far my longest hold down ever!” Russ told the filmmaker Pedro Miranda. “I barely got a breath before the second wave landed on me. Felling pretty sore today, got a good whiplash when I skipped in front of the wave, but no injuries which is good. Felt like I could barely walk up the beach when I got there.”