Watch just-released footage of world’s greatest surfer Kelly Slater destroying surfboard following poor performance in Portugal event, “I’d rather cry than laugh right now!”

"A horrible performance…"

There is no more satisfying feeling on earth than the efficient and crisp destruction of a surfboard that has wronged you, even better if that board didn’t cost a cent.

Good, clean fun.

In this very good short from the WSL, we find Kelly Slater entering the locker room in Portugal following his shock loss in round three to Aritz Aranburu in round three of the 2014 Moche Rip Curl Pro, a defeat that would doom his run for a twelfth title that year.

Slater’s board enters the locker room first via kick. Slater, face flushed a bright crimson, looks at the board with a frigid stare, takes one skittering step forward, leaps into the air, lands on board, tumbles onto ground.

The board is then propped against a wooden bench where Slater completes the annihilation.

Essential viewing.

Brave Hawaiian boy who learned to surf wearing a lifejacket and who stunned world by stealing tour lead from greatest of all time Kelly Slater releases feel-good celebratory film, “Only One Will Make It!”

Described as being “extremely intelligent and extremely capable and magnificent when angry."

Barron Mamiya, the little Hawaiian who stunned the world by snatching the tour lead from Kelly Slater following the two North Shore events, has released a celebratory short film.

The twenty-two-year-old bantamweight, who started surfing aged three and with an orange life preserver attached to his back, lit a furnace on tour when he finished ninth at Pipe, Slater requiring a buzzer-beater to squish past, and won the Sunset event in waves varying from six to fifteen feet.

Described as “extremely intelligent and extremely capable and magnificent when angry,” Mamiya’s focus now shifts to the unpredictable beachbreaks of Portugal, event #3 beginning on March 3.

Go-for-broke former world #4 surfer Dane Reynolds moves like a ballet prima donna amid the North Shore’s wild bumping and grinding!

Dane in Hawaii, with pals, essential… 

It’s no secret that Dane Reynolds, the thirty-six-year-old vlogger from Ventura California and former world number four, goes limp if pushed against pro surfing’s pouting vulva.

Freed from competition and its anxieties, however, and Reynolds creates a pulse-racing magic, spectators rummaging their memories for anything they’d seen before that had come close to his re-writing of old classics.

On the North Shore, Reynolds moves like a prima donna amid the North Shore’s wild bumping and grinding, his presence blanking out the raucous carnival nosies and moil of people.

This edit also includes Holly Wawn, Tosh Tudor and pals.

Essential viewing.

Beloved pro surfer who cried for three days following backlash to World Surf League joke continues to silence critics with knuckle-duster-in-your-face short film, “Ecstatic Yo-Yo”!

"The guy’s got a big mouth and never stops whining about the WSL. Let’s see that dude step up!" says former world champ Shaun Tomson.

Six years ago at the 2016 Surfer Poll awards in Hawaii, and during a group acceptance speech by Globe teamriders for best movie, the Australian surfer Noa Deane leaned into the microphone and said, “Fuck the WSL!”

The throwaway line caused much distress and Noa issued an apology shortly

Creed McTaggart and “Baby” Dion Agius, who were on stage when the immortal line was issued, say Noa didn’t leave his room at the Turtle Bay Hotel for three days and that he cried for most of it.

“Noa was getting fucking death threats! He cried for three days!” Creed told the insanely popular podcast Ain’t That Swell.

Recently, the former world champion Shaun Tomson said, “The guy’s got a big mouth and never stops whining about the WSL. Let’s see that dude step up!”

Anyway, what better way for Noa to silence critics than by violently undulating his round dimpled butt in the fading glow of an Australian east coast sunset, humping his LSD signature model and galloping madly for the finish line.


Africa’s greatest surfer Mikey February delivers second stunning riposte to the New Yorker’s claim that his style is “as self-conscious as the duck-face selfie!”

"All I know is that when one makes love, one changes a woman slightly and a woman changes you slightly."

(Editor’s note: Two years ago, The New Yorker ran a very good, and uncharacteristically raw, story by Jamie Brisick called, “Surfing in the Age of the Omnipresent Camera”, which described Mikey February’s surfing thus, “His hand jive, soul arches, and toreador-like flourishes play to the camera in a way that breaks the spell of the itinerant surfer in far-flung solitude. His style is as self-conscious as the duck-face selfie.”)

In this compendium of surfing clips and sweeping panoramas from Côte d’Ivoire, we find the South African surfer Mikey February, not as the pro surfer who once upon a time ran on the world tour, but surfer as a beautiful object,  a beautiful thing, worthy of worship. 

No one, I believe, can resist falling love with a such a face. 

Also starring in the short film is Alex Knost, a surfer who has hacked his own pathway out of the cultural jungle. A little bit sixties, some seventies, all 2000s. A retro-futurist-modernist cupcake who loves surf!

“The longer you surf, the more waves you ride, the more surfers you meet and that helps to widen your perception and the amount of respect toward everything,” says Alex. 

Completing the triumvirate is Lee-Ann Curren, the thirty-two-year-old daughter of the three-time world surfing champion Tom Roland Curren, unbeatable for most of his career and who popularised the modern fish surfboard.