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War: Alex Gray bloodies Kelly Slater!

Chas Smith

by Chas Smith

The greatest there ever was knocked out by a wily upstart!

If you are an observer of the surf game, even casually, then you will know that Kelly Slater is the undisputed, never before grazed, 10000000 times world champion of the passive aggressive unprovoked and unnecessary take down. Who could ever forget such classic bouts such as “Adriano de Souza wins his first (likely only) hard fought hard earned world title only to be upstaged by Kelly Slater and his wave pool hours later?”

Devastating!

Or “John John wins his much celebrated title and while the world (save Brazil) rejoices Kelly Slater claims Jordy Smith has better video parts?”

Crushing!

Kelly is a master. His timing, his delivery, his approach flawless and conventional wisdom had him only being bested in the passive aggressive unprovoked and unnecessary take down scene once dementia started to creep more fully.

Until yesterday.

Yesterday a challenger stepped into the ring. A young man out of Los Angeles with a quick wit, a crooked smile and a mischievous glint in his eye. Lady’s and gentlemen… put your hands together for…

Alllllllllllllex Graaaaaaaaaaay!

The big wave surfer took to Instagram praising his sponsor Body Glove new product offering.

Body Glove created the first wetsuit and now they’ve created the first heat moldable bootie! I’m really stoked to be part of the new technology. Having the bootie mold to your foot takes any extra room out, preventing any of that typical sliding around inside the bootie. I also really like the new pattern on the bottom for extra grip. If you have a narrow foot like me now we get to have the perfect fit for those cold days! And also feel like ninjas with glue feet. Thanks etc. etc. for having me along the process.

Very kind, thoughtful and sincere. Alex, I believe, was let go by the vicious Volcom earlier this year and would be forgiven being grouchy. This is the sort of generosity of spirit that makes me smile and I’m sure Body Glove was smiling too. Kelly Slater, though, couldn’t stand these smiles directed away from him and dropped a hammer in the comments.

I like it but didn’t Oneill make the first wetsuit?

That blow should have staggered poor Alex Gray. Should have knocked him out entirely. But like Rocky Balboa he took it right on the chin then countered with an even bigger hammer!

@kellyslater is it true ur wave pool is currently broken?

screen-shot-2017-01-09-at-6-18-23-am

And there goes the champ. Reeling! Spinning across the canvas unable to find his feet… going… going… going… down!

Who would have ever guessed that? Who would have ever guessed Alex Gray was surf’s Buster Douglas? Well, you should have quite frankly. Alex is no spring chicken. He once even battled Filipe Toledo’s dad!

But how will Kelly Slater respond? Will he ask for a rematch with Alex or go and lash out at another unsuspecting foe to build  confidence back up?

And is his wave pool currently really broken? I’m going to get to the bottom of this as soon as I’m done cruising Harajuku!