Gray seen here celebrating his victory.

War: Alex Gray bloodies Kelly Slater!

Chas Smith

By

The greatest there ever was knocked out by a wily upstart!

If you are an observer of the surf game, even casually, then you will know that Kelly Slater is the undisputed, never before grazed, 10000000 times world champion of the passive aggressive unprovoked and unnecessary take down. Who could ever forget such classic bouts such as “Adriano de Souza wins his first (likely only) hard fought hard earned world title only to be upstaged by Kelly Slater and his wave pool hours later?”

Devastating!

Or “John John wins his much celebrated title and while the world (save Brazil) rejoices Kelly Slater claims Jordy Smith has better video parts?”

Crushing!

Kelly is a master. His timing, his delivery, his approach flawless and conventional wisdom had him only being bested in the passive aggressive unprovoked and unnecessary take down scene once dementia started to creep more fully.

Until yesterday.

Yesterday a challenger stepped into the ring. A young man out of Los Angeles with a quick wit, a crooked smile and a mischievous glint in his eye. Lady’s and gentlemen… put your hands together for…

Alllllllllllllex Graaaaaaaaaaay!

The big wave surfer took to Instagram praising his sponsor Body Glove new product offering.

Body Glove created the first wetsuit and now they’ve created the first heat moldable bootie! I’m really stoked to be part of the new technology. Having the bootie mold to your foot takes any extra room out, preventing any of that typical sliding around inside the bootie. I also really like the new pattern on the bottom for extra grip. If you have a narrow foot like me now we get to have the perfect fit for those cold days! And also feel like ninjas with glue feet. Thanks etc. etc. for having me along the process.

Very kind, thoughtful and sincere. Alex, I believe, was let go by the vicious Volcom earlier this year and would be forgiven being grouchy. This is the sort of generosity of spirit that makes me smile and I’m sure Body Glove was smiling too. Kelly Slater, though, couldn’t stand these smiles directed away from him and dropped a hammer in the comments.

I like it but didn’t Oneill make the first wetsuit?

That blow should have staggered poor Alex Gray. Should have knocked him out entirely. But like Rocky Balboa he took it right on the chin then countered with an even bigger hammer!

@kellyslater is it true ur wave pool is currently broken?

screen-shot-2017-01-09-at-6-18-23-am

And there goes the champ. Reeling! Spinning across the canvas unable to find his feet… going… going… going… down!

Who would have ever guessed that? Who would have ever guessed Alex Gray was surf’s Buster Douglas? Well, you should have quite frankly. Alex is no spring chicken. He once even battled Filipe Toledo’s dad!

But how will Kelly Slater respond? Will he ask for a rematch with Alex or go and lash out at another unsuspecting foe to build  confidence back up?

And is his wave pool currently really broken? I’m going to get to the bottom of this as soon as I’m done cruising Harajuku!

"I got stitches for Christmas!" | Photo: lairdhamilton.com

Audio: “What does Laird get for Xmas?”

Anthony Pancia

By

A pleasingly loose interview with Size King Laird Hamilton.

Yesterday at four am, sometime BeachGrit reporter Anthony Pancia was awoken by a phone call from the wife of Laird Hamilton, the model and volleyballer Gabby Reece. The reporter had been chasing an interview with Laird and had taken to sleeping with his portable telephone under his pillow in case of an unlikely callback.

But miracles do happen, and it is the season for the miraculous afterall.

And with Laird stuck in a car for an hour, and in a very good humour, the pair talked Christmas gifts (“This year I got some stitches!”), hip replacements (“Too many lifetimes in one!”) and the history of foil-boarding (“The only way to ride the biggest waves on the world will be on hydro-foils.”)

Listen!

 


Just in: Chas Smith Goes to Tokyo!

Chas Smith

By

I know I once wrote bad things about surfing and the Tokyo Olympics but now my heart soars!

The 2020 summer Olympics, to be held in Tokyo, are almost here and it will be surfing’s biggest moment ever! Our debutante ball! Our Bar Mitzvah and Bat Mitzvah and quinceañera and christening all rolled into one!

I know I wrote the brilliantly titled The Olympics Made Surfing Lame, Somehow just last year for The Daily Beast. Would you allow me to read some of my own work?

Surfing is probably going to be in the 2020 Tokyo Olympics, which is stupid and everyone I know agrees.

Oh it sings! It sings like the most shimmeringly intelligent angel in all of heaven picked up a pen and started scribbling a chorus but the beauty of the language obscures its messaging. That surfing shouldn’t be in the Olympics, which is just wrong.

And can’t a gal change her mind?

The laughs we are going to have! The costumes surfers will wear in the opening ceremony! John John Florence surfing for the newly seceded island nation Hawai’i! Gabriel Medina leading the Brazilian contingent in a cleanly shorn version of Girl from Ipanema pre heats.

It will be glorious!

And I just had to come early. To see this Tokyo that will stage our big coming out. I’ve been once before but it was a long time ago and I had a fat orange man as my friend and guide.

The flight from San Francisco was uneventful save United charges for booze and I racked up a rather large bill on Titos and first ginger but then the sweetness overpowered so shifted to soda. My seat was littered with tiny bottles and I wondered what Kelly Slater would think about my footprint but then remembered he flies private to Europe and that is a heavy personal load to carry. Much guilt etc. Our surfers should think about this and either bring their own vodka in glass bottles from Duty Free or just not care about Mother Earth for 10 hrs. Kelly Slater, anyhow, would be a better source of advice on this point.

Everything worked smoothly once we touched down at Narita and our surfers are in for a real treat. The Japanese are polite and helpful. I was first dubious, trying to sniff out a scam, and this lead to confusion as the nice lady at the train station was just trying to save me some money.

One hour later, I arrived cleanly in my hotel near the Shinagawa station and maybe our surfers should stay here as well. It seems both high class but in the heart of the action.

A short time after this I found myself seated at Gonpachi. It is the restaurant that hosted the final flawless scene of Kill Bill. You recall. When Uma Thurman savaged all the little men with black masks. And, at the Olympics, who will our surfer version of Uma Thurman be? Will it be John John Florence flourishing his blade? I think likely but am also practicing my Hawai’ian nationalism.

kill-bill-vol-1-e1450271047319

The restaurant, in any case, was truly fantastic with wonderful service and delicious miso soup and sake. Our surfers should try and I would make specific menu recommendations here but feel I’ve already gone on too long about contrivances that add very little to the general fund. Am I trying to be the next Rory Parker or something?

I joke, I joke! There will only be one Rory Parker. Noted writer, national treasure etc. etc.

In any case, so far so good for our surfers. Tomorrow I’ll head to the beach. Or Harajuku.

Chris Burkard’s Effervescence for Expression

Michael Ciaramella

By

Frozen fingers capture the best moments!

Chris Burkard describes arctic photography as Type-Two fun. The kind of experience that is dreadful in present but memorialized in the highest regard. Comparable to surfing big waves, road trips, high school.

Burkard grew up chasing the windblown blahs of Cental Cal, only to discover that its hilly and diverse terrain was better geared towards photography than high quality surf. Picking up a camera at 18, he conceived a new form of expression that would come to redefine him and his bank account.

Burkard was quick to realize that surf photos don’t pay for shit, so he expanded his interests and captured the world as a whole. He’s now one of (if not) the most coveted and successful surf photogs in the world. Cold and stormy are his M.O., making this Icelandic sojourn something of a peak moment for Chris. “This is maybe one of the most insane things I’ve ever seen in my life,” says he.

I found this video to be simultaneously inspiring and destructive. I don’t generally get all mushy about surf, but gliding under the Northern Lights might be the pinnacle of our art. The whole ordeal appears so palpably spiritual, even existential (hey Chas!) in nature. That said, it’s hard to conceive of  circumstances that would lead to my experiencing it. I just don’t want it bad enough. The cold, the waiting, the trying to fit my Beachgrit boardies over a 6-5-4 — it’s too much!

So I’ll continue to chase tropical perfection until my skin cancers and dilapidates. But something tells me I’ll never be fulfilled until the light at the end of the tunnel screams green and blue and blood orange. Take me with you, Chris Burkard!

Kepa Acero Narrowly Escapes Death at Mundaka!

Michael Ciaramella

By

Busted neck. Saved by pals!

Kepa Acero almost died on Monday. The Basque-country native and jovial globetrotter took an exquisite tumble at his home break of Mundaka, breaking his neck and temporarily losing the ability to move his arms and legs. He was saved from drowning by some of his close friends. Below is a translation of his Instagram post on the matter.

I can only start this post by thanking everyone that has been by my side in these past couple days. It’s been a really hard time for me and those close to me. I would especially like to thank Lander and Iñigo who saved my life at Mundaka. I will be forever grateful.

The second of January, at midday, I had a near-fatal fall at Mundaka. I fell and hit my head against the bottom, and at that moment I lost consciousness. The only instant that I can remember was under water – wanting to break the surface, but my hands and legs wouldn’t obey commands.

At that moment I thought I would never come up.

I don’t remember anything else. I then found out that Lander and Iñigo put me on their boards and took me out of the impact zone. I even lost vision.

My friends <3 @natxogonzalez1 @nando_arostegi @eukenimasa and @aletxugironi got me out of the water, and after hours of agony I got to the hospital. They told me that I had broken my neck, broken and displaced my cervical, and broken a dorsal. Miraculously the spinal cord was not damaged so I can be thankful for feeling and being able to move my body, legs and arms. I have the sensation of being born twice in the same day. My thanks go to everyone that has kept me company, to those who rescued me, doctors, all the ones who have cheered me on, to fate and to life – especially to life.

Thank you again, and now more than ever I am going to enjoy life. Devour it, ‘cause it’s ours.

I get surgery on Wednesday.

A big hug to all <3<3<3<3

Scary moments for Spain’s second biggest tube-hound. We wish Kepa the best through his surgery and road to (hopefully a full) recovery. Left hand points wouldn’t be the same without him.

Oh and just for kicks, here’s a little edit of the swell that almost nipped him. Kepa is the primary slider!