Did you know there was a big-wave event at Jaws and that Danilo Couto wasn't invited? Me neither!
The very notion of the big wave world tour seems like something dreamed up by a management type with no connection to the real world. Scheduling is nearly impossible, a confluence of huge swell and perfect conditions is still a rare thing, even in an age of satellite forecasts and light speed communications.
In all but the most consistent of swells it can easily turn into a snooze-fest, viewers quickly losing interest as competitors bob around the lineup catching waves once an hour. Add the fact that many big wave surfers are… unique… individuals, and you’re left with a boondoggle of epic proportions. There’s no way to win, something the WSL just can’t seem to figure out.
Lackluster events, a wildcard “champion” crowned after only two comps, the disingenuous scuttling of the Punta be Lobos webcast, nothing is working.
And with the Pe’ahi event on Maui looming, theoretically, they’re facing another storm in a teapot.
In the WSL’s defense, the invite list is damn solid, not a single name that doesn’t belong. You could argue Slater shouldn’t be included, he’s not a true “big-wave surfer.” But he’s won the Eddie, and if that doesn’t make you legit I don’t know what does.
Still, they should have expected a ton of hurt feelings. Every wave has its crew, they’re always gonna be bummed when you shut down their spot so you can make money. And rightly so.
The best course would be to stick fingers in their ears, pretend to be confused by the anger, issue a conciliatory press release, and move forward like nothing is wrong.
The worst thing to do would be to run an ad promoting the event which features a surfer who’s been snubbed.
Which is exactly what the WSL, or more likely, the unpaid intern who manages the WSL’s social media account, did. A beautiful black and white shot of Danilo Couto, winner of the 2011 XXL ride of the year for a wave at Pe’ahi was used to pump the event, and Danilo is not pleased.
It would seem they even tagged him in it, a brutal faux pas.
And the drama was on, with everyone from Ricky Whitlock, to Shawn Dollar, to Shaun Walsh, to Evan Valiere, to Billy Kemper, to Shane Dorian and King Slater himself chiming to give the organization and Pete Mel what for.
But it was Ken “Skindog” Collins who stole the microphone:
Kelly Slater responded:
And then appeared Shane Dorian:
And Kelly, again.
There’s also some indignation regarding the fact that the WSL didn’t go with a local crew to run the water patrol, but last night Dave Prodan appeared to me in a dream and explained why.
He said they’ve decided to fly out the guys from France because J-Bay taught them that near-death experiences sell.
Then we fucked.
I think that you know nothing about Big Wave Surfing. Danilo helped pioneer paddle-in surfing at Jaws. He´ve already won Ride Of The Year for a wave in Jaws in 2011. He´s such a legend in the Big Wave Surfing. The support he received from the others bigsurfers (Dorian, Dollar, Slater, Skindog, etc.) speaks for itself .
All this doesn´t change the fact that I also want to see Slater in these big waves.
Kicked out of proposed BWWT event at Streaky Bay, Australia, Dumped BWWT at Mavs, dropped BWWT event by locals in South Africa, insulted the Chilean people at Punta de Lobos, finally found a weak link with corruptible officials in Lincoln City/Oregon/Nelscott. All led by a meth fueled commissioner! Priceless!
Santa Cruz hates Ken Collins. Can we send him to your town?
Nothing worse than having to hear anything from the mouth of Skinny D Bag.
From Santa Cruz. Can confirm that Ken Collins is a dipshit.
I haven’t watched it for a while, but in Back To The Future, had they predicted grown men bickering, with barely legible messages, via a retarded image sharing system?
A bunch of spoiled rotten brats,if they only knew what they had SMH
I adore this sh*t…Danilo charges and should get an invite…Kelly charges and shouldn’t even care. Hell Ken charges and is just stirring up crap…Good times had by all.
Good luck to the websites / magazines / surf sites paying for content etc The WSL gets free content from every decent swell as it happens, non stop free content that in the end is used to attract major sponsorship, the juggernaut continues, I wonder if the shot of Danilo Couto was a freebie…..(Ok this probably has nothing to do with the article above)….
Skindog is a terrible rep for anything surfing and unfortunately Santa Cruz too. Didn’t Kelly get 2nd at Mavs and has only surfed it a couple times at that. He will go.
Won qiuk’s eddie and finished 2nd when mavs was a quik contest…..
Hey Slater, “kind of embarrassing/sad” is anyone shelling out their cheddar for outerknown gear.
Not to mention buying into FireWire Thailand….. yo if people want to be pissed at someone from santa cruz, Randy French is the man. He is the one that led slater & firewire to overseas production.
haven’t you heard? Outerknown is lighting it up! Best seller ever!
Couto obviously needs to work on his arse shots on instagram.
Rory, Danilo Couto, not Cuoto.
And you’re right! Those WSL guys in charge of the big wave events are just as bad as Richie Porta’s calls in Mick Fanno and Julian Wilson’s heats!
…yike, maybe my fault. I dive in and change now…
I love it when KS calls people out
Waiting for him to callout Sarge
Solid
He “liked” one of my facebook posts the other day. I almost had a heart attack.
I wish I could go back in time and tell thirteen year old Rory that, one day, Kelly Slater would be vaguely aware we exist.
13 year old me would lose my mind, now that I’m in my 30’s I still wish for him to show me something, maybe it’s my resting bitch face that puts him off communicating with me
Ahhhh Rory, Is this like the time I had to break it to my 9 year old Daughter that “Taylor Swift” didn’t actually except her friend request on Instagram. It was her PR team.
Jordy “liked” a piece I wrote recently slagging off the Red Bull wavepool comp, only for it to be swiftly “unliked” later, if that’s a thing. Considering Red Bull are his major sponsor I’m betting his PR team wouldn’t have been so thick.
Dont be a tease Chazz… post up the link.
Into this snakepit?
Worst case scenario we get a laugh at your expense. Best case? You might take Rorys job here, you should see the front of desk girls at Beachgrits Sydneys headquarters… Rielly found the most amazing triplets. Breathtaking to say the least.
You were the kid who told everyone in your class Santa isn’t real, huh?
I had to do the same with my 70 year old father.
call Kelly out and he’ll ban you though.
Skindog must have been hitting the ice hard when he wrote that
Unless Snoop set up his account for him ‘Skin-Dizzle’ is where this discussion should have started and ended.
“skin flute” would have been more fitting
Keep ruining surfing why you can WSL. After outerblown and $90 pocket tees my vote goes to ken.
Super sensitive professional surfers feeling a type of way over real or perceived slights is my favorite stop of the tour.
Way better than Rio.
Mine too!
All these feuds make the layman’s life feel so very peaceful and uncomplicated. Definitely fun to watch the bullshit unfold with such regularity and gusto. Thanks social media!!!
Ken Collins is such an asshole. His fake ass veneer smile is enough to make you hate the guy. He is an aging surfer scared of being forgotten. how many people could honestly say he is in their top 10 surfers list?
Right on, Santa.
I don’t think he’s in anyone’s top 10 old Santa Cruz surfers list.
By the way, what’s with all the Santa Cruz CWC wildcards figuring in the near- or over-40 club??? Nat doesn’t have any homies blowing up down there?
meth’s a hell of a drug.
I like this comment’s discursive potential: is it a reference to meth endowing aging surf professionals to extend their careers via the crissy cris-tal? Is it a reference to intimidation of the contest organizers by someone in the larger supply chain? Is it a suggestion that meth derails young California talent? Is it a claim that meth has infested the WSL ranks and skewed the wildcard voters’ decision-making ability?
Let’s assume all four are correct to some extent.
Trogan, you might have just unintentionally written the Don Quijote of six word comments.
wait, what were we talking about?
I can’t respect anyone unless the media has ranked them in a list.
FloatSection, Beachgrits 7th best commentator.
Out of 7 ?
The guy basically lives through his social media account and constantly hates on the big wave tour and the WSL like a high school girl who didn’t get invited to a birthday party
Ease up. That’s basically all I do too.
Do these guys even bench?
scared of being forgotten? In all seriousness, I thought he died recently.
“You can manufacture the next Greg Long, Mark Healy and Grant Baker”………wow, so Kurtzweil is further along than we thought eh?
I bet the AI version of De Souza would surf less like a robot.
Wait….they have a hybrid of Andy Irons and De Souza? What an odd combo. 50% elite surfer and chemical enthusiast and 50% bow legged floater specialist. How could it lose?
This will be the next Stab post: FIVE SURFERS CHIPPA WILSON WANTS TO EXECUTE AND REBUILD AS ROBOTS!
When is the WSL going to introduce mandatory robot testing into the BWWT?
How do we know the real Greg Long hasn’t been subbed by the AI Greg Long?
Answer: we don’t. Thank you Skindog.