It don't give you wiiiiings, they say? Clearly they have never seen Julian Wilson.
The internet was awash, yesterday, with stories of Red Bull settling two class-action lawsuits because it doesn’t actually “give you wiiiiiings” and also, its claims of bequeathing better concentration and improved athletic performance are unsupported. Clearly, no one is looking at Jordy Smith, Julian Wilson, Kolohe Andino, etc.
This is not to say, however, that Red Bull lost the suits. Their legal team released a statement denying any wrongdoing or liability. “Red Bull believes that its marketing and labeling have always been entirely truthful and accurate, it confirms that all future claims about the functional benefits of its products will be medically and/or scientifically supported.”
What made the stories appealing to so many was that anyone in the United States could get in on the financial windfall, nabbing a piece of the whopping………………… 13 million dollar settlement meaning all the claimants will get nothing but embarrassment and maybe 4 pennies.
Red Bull is worth 7.2 billion according to Forbes. The suit must have been filed by the worst lawyers ever. It was not immediately clear if the Association of Surfing Professionals’ legal team was involved. It was not immediately clear if all ASP staffers went out and celebrated with extra big Monster + vodkas.
If you are dumb and want 4 pennies, you can file an online claim form here.
P.S. You don’t get rich but I dare you to sue BeachGrit for misleading advertising.