Picture yourself as the meat in this vocally inspiring sandwich. Such fun!
Picture yourself as the meat in this vocally inspiring sandwich. Such fun!

There’s room for one more. You!

The WSL is hiring another inspired voice! Do you have what it takes?

Do you dream of being very dull? Does not getting paid inspire? Is Pat Parnell a personal hero? Than I have a job for you!

The World Surf League is hiring voice over artists! Girls, stop reading NOW because the WSL is only looking for a Todd Kline aged 21-40.

“The perfect candidate will have strong experience in sports voice over and be able to handle the highs and lows of the sport through dramatic and articulate storytelling, we are searching for a Los Angeles based youthful voice that can exude fun, drama and excitement.”

Hello future!

Just record yourself reading in an overly excited voice (hint: don’t move any part of your body while speaking!)…

ACT 1:

(COLD OPEN)

The Men’s 2014 Samsung Galaxy ASP World Championship Tour saw a season filled with outstanding victories.

(Announcers / footage)

Bitter defeats.

(Announcers / footage)
And some of the best competitive surfing ever witnessed.

(Announcers / footage)

34 of the worlds best male surfers, from rookies to World Champs, representing nine different countries, traveled to some of the most exotic and legendary surf breaks the planet has to offer with one goal in mind… to become the undisputed ASP World Champion. 

(GFX OPEN)

In 2014, the Association of Surfing Professionals took the top Men’s competitors on the planet to eleven iconic locations to crown the best surfer in the world. At each stop, every competitor had the chance to earn up to 10,000 points for a contest win. Those points would continue to build with each event, and at the end of the tour the surfer with the highest point tally would win the title of ASP World Champion. Every event, every wave and every point is important. 

In the hunt, top ten ranked surfers Adriano De Souza, Michel Bourez and 2012 World Champion Joel Parkinson returned to stake their claim amongst the best in the world.

And then email it to Graham Stapelberg! You’ll have to buy your own ticket to events, pay for your own room/food and pay your own salary but you’ll get to watch Occy sing lots of karaoke. What could be better than that besides everything?

Don’t hesitate. Todd Kline is lonely.

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Smell me finger
Smell me finger
11 years ago

Bring back GT. Nah, just joking. Please don’t.

NEGATRON
NEGATRON
11 years ago

I have a nasally whiney voice that betrays by true upbringing as a Westy. Not ideally suited for radio, But I would however bring a certain flair of self indulgence and laziness to the table.

thebitchycrab
thebitchycrab
11 years ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

How do you fill out a tropical shirt?

Seaman Staines
Seaman Staines
11 years ago
Reply to  thebitchycrab

With a whole lot of surfy vibes dude.

Trogan Fan
Trogan Fan
11 years ago

two dudes I’ve never hear of fighting about a movie I’ve long since forgotten. Super.

theflyingpeanut
theflyingpeanut
11 years ago

Couldn’t the WSL just punch that script into the little computer program that reads things back to you, and then put the computer in a box with a Hawaiian shirt on it? I mean, you wouldn’t have to spend any money on food or lodging for the computer, it’d be a less annoying voice than Turpel, and when the tour goes to Tahiit, the computer wouldn’t piss off the bodyboarders like Wassel. Sounds like a win-win to me.

Seaman Staines
Seaman Staines
11 years ago

Stephen Hawking to commentate for the WSL! Brilliant.


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