You’ve already seen this gem on StabStitch and Surfing-Er and, if you are 43 and drive a Toyota Corolla and dream of moving out of mother’s house, The Inertia. But it is worth seeing it here because I love Damien Hobgood.
Damien Hobgood is possibly the greatest man on earth and tied as my favorite surfer with CJ Hobgood. I saw him at Souplantation just the other day because my 2¼ year old daughter thinks it is heaven even though it is, quite possibly hell.
Souplantation, if you don’t know, is a buffet of salad and soup and pretend pizza. My 2¼ year old daughter loves the peas and the noodles from the chicken soup. I like none of it. But I take her at least twice a week because she is souper cute. And just the other day I walked in and there was Damo and his three children and his wife. He and his wife looked very tired but they were such grand parents to the children and we all laughed about many things and they made me happy to be at Souplantation.
The moral of this story is kids make you tired, don’t go to Souplantation if you can help it, but if you do go pray that Damien and family are there. And get barreled.
SurfStitch Buys Stab and Magic Seaweed for $20 mill!
In a split of $13.8 million in cash and 4.8 million shares…
Ain’t biz just a lottery? One minute you’re on the bones of your ass, sitting at the back of planes, driving sputtering Japanese cars, the next you’re kicking down the door of a new beachfront mansion, multiples of teens plucking at your strange fruit.
Just, like, then, the online surf store SurfStitch bought Stab, a little print mag and online portal your ol pal DR started in 2004 and sold six years later (Duh!), and Magic Seaweed, the second-biggest surf site in the world after Surfline, in a deal worth $13.98 million cash and 4.8 million SurfStitch shares.
According to the Australian Financial Review, “SurfStitch chief executive and co-founder Justin Cameron is hopeful that in addition to reducing the company’s reliance on external marketing channels, the two acquisitions will deliver revenue synergies as content on both sites will drive sales to SurfStitch and promote repeat visitation across all platforms.
“SurfStitch’s demonstrated global leadership in action sports and youth culture apparel is greatly enhanced with the addition of Magicseaweed and Stab Magazine,” he said.
“These highly complementary acquisitions represent the voice of SurfStitch‘s core audience, connecting us with our customers and providing us greater insight into their preferences, influences and purchasing behaviour.”
“Mr Cameron added that SurfStitch’s mission is to become the global destination for action sports and youth lifestyle content and online retail.
“Combined with our recent launch of ‘The Lens’, the acquisitions will further SurfStitch‘s global content driven strategy to provide relevant and engaging content to our growing active customer base,” he said.
“A fully-underwritten institutional placement of 25 million shares – representing 11.7 per cent of issued capital and priced at $1.50 per share – will raise the needed $37.5 million cash to pay for Stab and Magicseaweed. This represents a 3.2 per cent discount to SurfStich last close of $1.55 per share.”
Gabriel, Filipe (natch), Italo, Wiggoly, Adriano and Jadson cuckold world tour!
Rio de Janeiro is a famous place. A bay of the sea, almost a perfect semi-circle. A megalopolis of six-million people. A city in a country built on the back of slaving so energetic it makes the US’s own past look quaintly dull.
Hot, too, mostly, but not today, not when the temperature hovered at 71 degrees all day, all night. A place of stimulus and excitement. Where inquisitive mouths will kiss every inch of your body if only you allow yourself the physical freedom Brazil demands. The body in Brazil is tropical! Fire! The blood is hot, the body luscious to the kiss.
It’s the country where male tourists, sometimes attached pro surfers, are invariably cuckolded by the splendid physical specimens prancing along the beach in gaily coloured trunks that make even BeachGrit swoon with jealous.
And therefore, what a fitting place for Brazil’s afro-studs to assert the heroic underdog narrative. The Brazilian can’t afford to put things off. He must stop the whole show… NOW… and grasp the reins of this historic opportunity.
Let’s investigate the non-surprising results from yesterday’s opening gambit, Oi Rio Pro, event number four in the Men’s Samsung Galaxy Championship Tour.
Wiggoly Dantas beat John John, Gabriel beat Freddy P, Italo beat Mick Fanning, Adriano beat Kai Otton, Jadson beat Josh Kerr and Dusty Payne, Filipe beat Kolohe and Melling.
And Kelly Slater? For the first real time this year he kicked his motor over and was aroused to heat. Two high nines while Ace Buchan and Ricardo Christie waited til he’d finished before gobbling up his cream pie.
Oi Rio Men’s Pro Round 1 Results:Heat 1: Jeremy Flores (FRA) 12.17, Brett Simpson (USA) 12.07, Taj Burrow (AUS) 6.30Heat 2: Kelly Slater (USA) 19.27, Adrian Buchan (AUS) 12.06, Ricardo Christie (NZL) 11.76
Heat 3: Wiggolly Dantas (BRA) 15.97, John John Florence (HAW) 10.66, C.J. Hobgood (USA) 9.94
Heat 4: Gabriel Medina (BRA) 12.33, Freddy Patacchia Jr. (HAW) 7.77, Alejo Muniz (BRA) 4.90
An interview with its co-creator, What Youth's Travis Ferré…
…well, yeah, I get it. Kolohe ain’t the hotter-than-everything Filipe Toledo. Yeah, I get he’s a child prodigy destined for great-ish things his entire life and so he isn’t an entirely sympathetic character in the surf culture narrative. An Instagram account that would seem ironic if it wasn’t, doesn’t help either.
But then there’s plenty that makes me like Brother. The cuckolding, attempted or otherwise, of a chubby little TV hotshot with a mouth invented for devouring hot fudge sundaes, for example. Didn’t you roar your approval when the pudgy Cinderella barked at Brother during a live-cross interview?
This June, Brother is going to be available as a free download on What Youth. Should you evaporate your bandwidth on the movie Kai Neville describes as a “short, fast ampy shred flick”?
Let’s ask Travis Ferré , the co-founder of What Youth, whose mid-surf conversations resulted in the collaboration tween his mag and the current world number 26…
BeachGrit: Can you describe the film to moviegoers?
Travis: It’s quite simple. Kolohe surfing with his friends, spliced together with some really good music, all over the world. It’s not a bio pic by any means. More of a snapshot of his year. But I’d say the unique thing is watching Kolohe surfing in long form, which is really impressive. There are some really wild banger clips, but it’s Kolohe’s style and form that shines to me.
BeachGrit: How long is this film, how many sections, and where was it filmed?
Travis: It’s about 25 minutes long, there are six full sections and a few other little interludes, and it was filmed in California, Europe, Western Australia, Hawaii and Indo. Pretty classic choices.
BeachGrit: What was the purpose of Brother?
Travis Kolohe has had a filmer (Noah Alani) traveling with him for most of his life, and he’s had a few projects not come to fruition, so we simplified the concept: Kolohe shredding with his friends. And we really wanted to make sure the friend aspect came across as he spends so much time surfing with them, but it rarely gets shown to the world. Kolohe wanted to put something out that was more impactful than a greatest hits web clip too, so we worked closely with him and I think he hit the nail on the head with what he was after.
BeachGrit: Where does it fit on the cultural ladder?
Travis: Well, it’s more of a snapshot than a profile film or anything, but I think in the grand scheme of things at the moment, with very little in between the mega blockbuster helicopter freak show films, and the over saturated web clip and the few instances to see Kolohe surf loose and full of smiles with his friends. This is what I’d say is the perfectly balanced film for the modern condition. And Kolohe’s surfing is really pleasing to the eye.
BeachGrit: How can we buy, see?
Travis: Brother will stream for 24 hours at What Youth on May 26th, and then it will be available on Red Bull TV on Demand May 27th for a week, and then June 2nd it will available for free download.
BeachGrit: What do you love about Brother?
Travis: Well, if we’re talking about the man, I love his hair. And if it’s the movie, I love that I can rematch it and rematch it. I haven’t rewatched a surf film more than this one since the old Taylor Steele vids.
You should probably get involved too if you like money and/or want more money.
Deciding to take my own advice, late Friday night, I bought GoPro. I cracked into my piggy bank, opened a Fidelity.com account, transferred money and then placed my order. 5 shares for $50.04 each. Fidelity.com warned me, with a red popup screen, that this was a bad idea. The markets were, of course, closed for the weekend and who knows what weirdness Nicholas “Nick” Woodman could get up to between Saturday and Sunday and who knows how his self-described “mad” behavior would crash the stock price.
But I am as bold as I am handsome and overrode my digital broker’s concern and placed it anyway. “What kind of investor should I be?” I wondered whilst sipping a Moscow Mule. “Should I be quiet and let my money do the talking or should I model myself off famed activist shareholder T. Boone Pickens and bark orders up the chain?”
By the time Monday’s opening bell clanged, I was decided. I would be like T. Boone Pickens and make very many demands. I know people who work at GoPro, you see, and some are as smart as they are beautiful but most are dull. They need me to guide them into a financially rich future. Especially since my position, three hours in to the trading day, is already down 5.57%.
The first order of business, then, Nick Woodman is to fire everyone who works out of your San Mateo office. I have never met anyone from the Bay Area who knew a damned thing about style and we are in the style biz. It’s how we are going to crush China. So that also means no more overly washed True Religion jeans for you either. Or way accessorized “action sports” kits.
Yes it’s time to buckle up and make some real money. By the time I’m done you will officially be able to change your business cards from “Mad Billionaire” to “Mad Millionaire.” The “Touched Trillionaire.” Alliteration has a ring.
P.S. I also own Quiksilver. 40 shares at $1.62 each. As is, for now, boys. The suit wetsuit is a work of art.