Candid: Four Things I Love About Surf Culture!

Wait…sarcasm!

After a year-and-a-half battling injuries and being relegated to the kook’s corner of my local spot due to an inability to out paddle anyone, my body has finally caught up to my muscle memory and I actually had a fun session.

I can still surf! Who knew?

It’s about time. I was getting dangerously close to giving up and spending the rest of my life telling lies about how I “used to rip before my injury.” Gasping for air, struggling to punch through the lineup on a head high day, is a miserably humiliating experience, enough so that I don’t understand how I learned to surf in the first place.

But the passion is rekindled. I love to surf. I love surf culture. The following most of all:

Recyclable surfboards: The best of lies are always built on truth. Is EPS recyclable? Absolutely. Does anyone actually collect broken boards and recycle them? Of course not. But that hasn’t stopped multiple companies, like snowboard giant Lib Tech, from hopping on the pseudo-science bandwagon and touting their contribution towards pumping out poisonous products as a forward thinking, enviro-friendly, board of the future.

Wave pools: I’m coming up on four decades of hearing about these things and I know that the Snowdonia place is actually being built, but if they follow through on their promise of “2 meter” waves I will, literally, eat my hat.

It’s not that I don’t believe it’s possible, it’s that I don’t believe it’s economically feasible. Generating waves eats a metric fuckton of power and there is no way that enough land locked boners are going to drop the thousands of dollars required to build enough skill to ride waves that size. (US$4912 per year, ignoring cost of equipment and assuming two, two-hour, sessions per week, with a “membership” and time purchased in bulk.)

Instead we’ll see tiny little mush packed to the rafters with beginners, with the pool cranked up to full potential once or twice a year. Maybe. But probably not.

Only a surfer knows the feeling: It’s true! When you’re out alone on a kind-of-fun day at the local beach break, miles of equally good waves breaking on either side of you, and you see a handful of kooks suit up and paddle right to you: only a surfer knows that feeling! Or when a guy makes eye contact then takes of in front of you and blows the drop. It’s unreal!

Sustainable tourism: I’ve met these pricks more times than I’d like in the course of various jaunts around the globe. They’re always wide-eyed entrepreneur types, spending months at a time in a beautiful third world locale, hell bent on teaching all the heathen brownies just how they should be managing their resources.

The beauty of sustainable tourism is that it is truly attainable. All you need to do is borrow a couple hundred K from dear ol’ mom and dad, open up an “eco-hostel” on undervalued land and you can keep the local population scrubbing toilets and washing cum soaked sheets for the rest of their lives!  Sustainable!  

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GoofyGoofyFoot
GoofyGoofyFoot
11 years ago

“heathen brownies” that’s gonna get you some slaps for sure haole.

ho
ho
11 years ago

Enjoy your posts but never understood how you can be so bitter living in paradise. Hearing about your injuries, now I get it.

NEGATRON
NEGATRON
11 years ago
Reply to  ho

Bitterness is God’s gift to the sane.

Rory Parker
Rory Parker
11 years ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

I prefer to call it cynicism.

Tom House
Tom House
11 years ago

“Does anyone actually collect broken boards and recycle them? Of course not. But that hasn’t stopped multiple companies, like snowboard giant Lib Tech, from hopping on the pseudo-science bandwagon and touting their contribution towards pumping out poisonous products as a forward thinking, enviro-friendly, board of the future.”

Wow. Just wow. Possibly the most ignorant thing I’ve read this week, and that’s saying a lot considering I spend all day on the Internet.

Rory Parker
Rory Parker
11 years ago
Reply to  Tom House

Prove me wrong, buddy.

nic von bankrupt
nic von bankrupt
11 years ago
Reply to  Rory Parker

Marko foam,entropy bio resins.

Rory Parker
Rory Parker
11 years ago

Marko may regrind and reuse scraps, but they don’t regrind and reuse old EPS boards. All of their “enviro foam” blanks still end up in a landfill for eternity.

As far as Entropy… I can’t find where they source their product, but I can say that a lot of what you read about “renewable” products is pretty misleading. Like all the solazyme based bio resins. Sure, anything you grow is “renewable”, but solazyme uses Brazilian sugar cane to grow their product. Renewable, sure. Eco friendly? Hell no.

Anyway, less damaging still don’t mean good.

nic von bankrupt
nic von bankrupt
11 years ago
Reply to  Rory Parker

Being that I’m riding one right now,and that the flex response is on point, I think that were moving in the right direction,solar power was inefficient and thought to be a waste for years until the technology caught up with the well,technology,now Costco can run off the grid,there’s a leap. My point being if they didn’t start with the Brazilian sugar cane,then move to a more renewable glucose like maple,they wouldn’t get there because there original resources weren’t “eco friendly” enough. Your argument is Invalid in my mind.

nic von bankrupt
nic von bankrupt
11 years ago
Reply to  Rory Parker

And less damaging DOES Mean good,that’s how i vote in every election.

nic von bankrupt
nic von bankrupt
11 years ago
Reply to  Rory Parker

Being one of the “guys who never cleans up” or whatever i wouldn’t know anything about how the extrusion process works,or recycled plastics making a better epoxy,but the rest were on point.

Rainbow Unicorn
Rainbow Unicorn
11 years ago

So true

Taco
Taco
11 years ago

“kooks suit up and paddle right to you”… SUPos love doing this and they can spot you from miles away. Very friendly.

Trev
Trev
11 years ago

Do your homework about Lib Tech’s boards before you hate on them.

Nick Carroll
Nick Carroll
11 years ago

fuck off Rory! you missed the one about us all being in a “tribe”

Audit In Progress
Audit In Progress
11 years ago
Reply to  Nick Carroll

You’ve made it Roz! NC just told you to fuck off!

Rory Parker
Rory Parker
11 years ago

I know!


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